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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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Original poster

TTC for 2 years & nothing...

41 replies

ReginaPhalange90 · 14/09/2020 21:07

Hi all, I'm new here. This is going to turn into a bit of a rant so bear with me!

Just taken my umpteenth negative PT and I just feel really sad, I was so SURE it was going to be positive this time :( I feel I can't really talk to my friends about it because they're all married with kids and it's just always "aww it'll happen, just be patient" etc etc. I'm 30 and was on the pill for a lot of years, I came off it late 2018 and it took about a year for my cycle to get to some sense of normality, however it's still nothing close to normal. My last six cycles for example have ranged between 33 and 65 days. I've been taking ovulation tests for months and have only ever had one positive reading even though I took one every morning. I just feel that I'm running out of time, I'm engaged to a wonderful 37yo man (been together 5yrs) and we've just sold our tiny 1 bed flat and have been putting offers in on houses but all our offers are being rejected. We were planning on getting married next May but have postponed it due to everything that's going on. So basically I'm at the point of "why isn't anything happening for us?" and I'm just really upset about it. ALL our friends have a house, ALL our friends have children apart from one couple who decided not to, and they're ALL married. Everything happened for them 10+ years ago as well :(

Just feeling really sad and emotional at the moment.

OP posts:

CausingChaos2 · 15/09/2020 08:54

[quote Stabal]@CausingChaos2 I'm not the only one in this thread that has said it's not helpful, maybe that should mean something to you. You're being hostile when I'm just trying to make you aware of how frustrating it is to hear.[/quote]
Hostile?

I think your personal sensitivity is coming into play here. Like I said, this thread isn’t about you. The OP didn’t seem offended by my post, but you’re quite keen on continuing to argue the toss on her thread.

Stabal · 15/09/2020 09:07

@CausingChaos2 are you not seeing everyone else saying the same thing?

CausingChaos2 · 15/09/2020 09:24

Bloody hell. Dog with a bone much. I’m not going to derail the OPs thread with you but I’ll leave this for you to mull over:

The Science Behind Stress and Fertility
Several recent studies have found links between the women’s levels of day-to-day stress and lowered chances of pregnancy. For example, women whose saliva had high levels of alpha-amylase, an enzyme that marks stress, took 29% longer to get pregnant compared to those who had less.

“Your body is smart, it knows that (periods of stress) aren’t good times to have a baby,” says Domar, a longtime infertility researcher who also is director of mind/body services at Boston IVF.

...Today, researchers widely accept that stress and fertility are connected.

link

LadyEloise · 15/09/2020 10:09

Try reflexology.

xoJellyBean · 15/09/2020 11:02

Omg ladies, seriously stop bickering😱

RiverRiot · 15/09/2020 11:11

Oh do bore off CausingChaos2 (and what an apt name you’ve chosen there).

You’re the dog with the bone here and you’ve already derailed OPs thread, which incidentally isn’t about you either.

You’ve been told repeatedly by various posters that you’re being unhelpful yet you continue to insist on being obtuse.

Women fall pregnant in war zones and during incredibly stressful times in their careers and lives in general so why don’t you back off and sling your cockamamie “science” and your aggressive attitude in the bin where they belong.

Original poster

ReginaPhalange90 · 15/09/2020 11:15

Oh dear, I didn't want to cause any trouble. I wasn't offended at all @CausingChaos2 and totally see your point, but I also agree with the others to an extent in that it's so difficult to relax about it when it's all that's on your mind.

OP posts:

twinkledag · 15/09/2020 11:47

Another one who is asking please don't tell people who have been TTC to relax!

Extremely unhelpful advice! And I've never been told once in my 9 years of TTC at various fertility clinics (in England and abroad!) to relax!

Stabal · 15/09/2020 12:19

@RiverRiot @twinkledag thank you!

@ReginaPhalange90 I wish you all the luck, definitely speak to a GP and start with some bloods and go from there 🤞

Original poster

ReginaPhalange90 · 15/09/2020 12:23

Thanks :) Will keep you all posted!

OP posts:

RiverRiot · 15/09/2020 15:49

@Stabal You’re welcome. 🙃

@ReginaPhalange90 Please do keep us updated. Sorry for wading in earlier, as you can see I have a firm view on the “Just relax” crowd and people who don’t listen. 😂
What I actually came on the thread to say was please don’t worry about going to the GP. I too put it off for a long time and it was actually MUCH more straight forward / less invasive than I thought it would be. And just because you have some tests doesn’t mean that you have to do IVF etc. if you don’t want to.
Best of luck to you on your journey.

Juno231 · 15/09/2020 16:00

@ReginaPhalange90 Please go to the GP, there are so many things that can be the cause for this and that can be sorted without having to do any invasive procedures!

I'd add that if you PCOS then temping would work a lot better than OPKs for you to determine when/if you ovulate.

There's absolutely no reason why you should have to wait two years for the GP to action anything - if you suspected PCOS you could have had this looked into 18 months ago!

Juno231 · 15/09/2020 16:01

And @stabal I fully agree with you on the try and relax/it'll happen approach. It's the least helpful and most infuriating thing anyone can say to someone TTC. It also lays the blame on the woman - implying if only she'd not stressed so much she would have been pregnant by now, which is far from the case.

lankyliscuits · 15/09/2020 23:13

I feel your pain 💔 We've been trying since August 2018 and never had a sniff of a positive pregnancy test. We've had tests (bloods, sperm analysis, HSG, ultrasound) and all "normal" so diagnosed with unexplained infertility. Had a consultation last month and got told we were being referred on for treatment. Appears they haven't even made the referral after 1+ month and the clinic we're being referred too has a 3 month backlog 😑 Feeling very frustrated today. Sending lots of virtual hugs your way. I haven't read through all the replies - it may be a good idea to have a visit to the GP. I know you've mentioned you "don't want to bother them" and whilst I see where you're coming from, coronavirus is not the only thing people are dealing with right now and you are within your rights to access the support you need so try not to diminish your problems/desire to seek help because of this xxx

YellowNotRed · 16/09/2020 07:37

@CausingChaos2

I really don’t mean this to sound patronising, but would it be worth stop tracking your cycles and just taking a relaxed approach? You do hear of couples who accept it isn’t going to happen, and then it does all of a sudden. Or those who are referred for fertility treatment, then fall pregnant while waiting to be seen. There must be an element of stress that seems to affect conception.

Ah the old 'just relax and it'll happen' myth.

Super patronising and unhelpful.

YellowNotRed · 16/09/2020 07:40

Really hope you can get some answers if you do opt to visit your GP, OP.

Like you, we don't want IVF (turned it down) but after investigations now we know what the issues are and just having the knowledge is so helpful.

Best of luck x

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