Advice needed after miscarriage

[LifeBeginsNow]

I had a miscarriage on Monday and passed the baby fully (I've had a scan and there's nothing left). Due to having a blood test on Sunday which showed a high hormone level (I think this was 18,000) and only a small amount of brown bleeding at this time, there has been concern I may still have an ectopic pregnancy. Even though I know what I saw.

I think my reading went down to 10,000 Monday afternoon and today it's 2,000 so all going the right way hormone wise. I'm bleeding still but just a normal period amount. As soon as I passed the baby on Monday, the cramping and pain stopped.

My question is with regards to trying again. I was told to wait 3 weeks and take a test. If it's negative, no further action is required but if it's positive I need to let the doctor know.

Seeing as my levels are dropping quickly, realistically how quickly could I test and see a negative? We'd really like to try again while my fertility is higher after the miscarriage and this is how we were lucky to conceive my son after my first miscarriage. The trouble is my DH is travelling with work for 4 months shortly so we don't have much time! Would you try now or wait until he's back? I'm 39 so time isn't on my side.

Thank you both for the positivity!

I'm sorry to hear you're going through this cafe. I feel like an unfortunate pro but in reality I've only had 2 miscarriages. After the first, I was told to be careful as I will be more fertile. I was pretty distraught and I think the midwife didn't want me rushing things if my head wasnt sorted. She also signed me off work for a couple of weeks even though the baby passed quickly. Is that something you can ask about? I fell pregnant 4-6 weeks later so I do think she had a point about the enhanced fertility.

Again this time I've fallen pregnant straight away. I carried on with the folic acid and vitamin d even on the day I lost both babies as I knew I wanted to try again.

As for passing the baby, I havent had the same experience as you and have been lucky to have it happen over the course of 2 days. My SIL struggled with her miscarriage for quite a while and took pills to move things along. In the end she had to have the surgery as she had some retained product. After her experience she said she would opt straight away for the surgery if it happened again as it prevents the drawn out process so you can move on with your grief.

I hope things move quickly for you soon but it may be worth thinking about the operation. If you are thinking of trying again, keep up with the vitamins and don't give up hope.

@LifeBeginsNow thank you so much for your kind wishes. I am so encouraged by your positive story ❤️

Yes I think now there has been time to let the news sink in I think I might go for the operation if things don’t sort out. My scan isn’t until the 19th, but I might call the hospital on Monday and ask if it could be brought forward. I just want things wrapped up so we can start again. Walking around with a dead foetus that you loved in your body is really not helpful to me.

I’m also looking into using folate instead of folic acid, apparently some people can’t absorb folic acid which is the synthetic form of folate and with me having pcos I’m at higher risk of that. I’m just trying to do whatever I can to improve my chances for next time.

Luckily I am working from home, I haven’t told any of my managers as the company has been known to be unofficially discriminatory towards women who are thinking of having kids/have kids. One of my colleagues had an ectopic pregnancy and was told by HR that women getting pregnant was a ‘big problem’ for the company. When redundancies were made because of covid, she was made redundant. There’s other examples too, so I just don’t want to tell them. Luckily I can mostly take it easy at home, my job isn’t too full on. Thank you so much for the suggestion though ☺️

Hope everything goes well for you xx