Feel so deflated TTC cycle 2 or 3

[AKcheer]

Hi guys...I just feel so deflated right now. I’m 30, been TTC for 2 or 3 months now and it just hasn’t happened. I feel for everyone they are getting pregnant with a touch and I’m not. Last month I thought was the month - we DTD plenty around ovulation and I thought we nailed it. Yesterday AF came and I just feel so shit! I just want a baby :( and I feel everyone’s starting to ask questions too. I don’t know I just feel rubbish - anything to help pick me up or offer me positive stories/words. Any advice? X

Hang in there! It will happen :) For a 30 year old I think the average is 6 months TTC so don't despair just yet! Just remember that each cycle you have 20-30% of a shot at most even if everything is perfectly timed, so those one shot people are just magical unicorns that happened to get lucky!

Try not to compare yourself to others. It's hard not to but the reality is that more people take months to conceive than it seems. You just tend to hear about the quicker ones more (I hated them whilst trying myself!). Took me many many months to conceive in my early 30s.

I think you need to brace yourself. In all honesty 2months is nothing. Drs won't even consider tests until you've been trying a year. It took me 18months to conceive my first.

Just wanted to add that I'm 32 and next week I'll enter cycle 9 so it does take a while!

I understand totally how you’re feeling but you’re being too hard on yourself. You hear about the ones that happen ‘just like that’ much more than you hear about the (perfectly normal!) couples who take several months.
I’m 26, DH is 28 and we’ve been trying for 7 months now. It’s disheartening every time it hasn’t happened but I’m confident we’ll get there, and so will you.

When I had icsi ivf I had 10 mature eggs, so the equivalent of nearly a year of trying naturally.
9 fertilised, which is very good. So despite a sperm being selected and injected into that egg that 1 still didn't work! Of the 9:
6 embryos developed to day 5, then:
2 embryos were free from genetic issues. Of those 2:
1 failed to implant
1 worked

That's with no known fertility issues either, good swimmers, all the supportive drugs, no booze, all the supplements etc. It showed me how much of a miracle natural conception is when you see how much goes wrong at every stage. Sperm meeting egg is no guarantee.

I hate to say relax as that's shit advice, but honestly it is early days. If you want to do something then the book "it starts with the egg" is brilliant to get you both optimising your chances of success in terms of supplements and lifestyle.

This isn't what you want to hear but I'm pregnant now after more than 2 years of trying. The doctors kept saying there was nothing stopping it but I didn't believe them until it happened.

Are you coming off the pill? We waited 3 months before TTC but my doctor thinks it took my body a lot longer to catch up. Two things I think helped were upping my vitamin D levels to 200 micrograms and taking Inositol.

As for the questions, I was pretty honest with people about things not working out - I think it helps raise awareness plus it stops people being complete arses. Best of luck.

Hi guys thanks for your replies! Am I just being an eager beaver? @Juno231 oh a 20/30% chance? I never knew that! Yes we definitley need to give it longer it’s just hard when people don’t stop asking why I’m not pregnant yet and putting pressure on me! Me and hubby have been married for 5 years but been focusing on work and travelling etc and the time wasn’t right and everyone is just staring at me like what’s wrong with you? It’s so hard! I was in tears the other day as I just had enough!

@AngelSings Ahh you’re right! How long did it take you to conceive? Any advice?

@happylittlechick I think I do need to calm down, I know it’s nothing but I just felt so demotivated. Maybe my period is getting to me lol

@Ughmaybenot it is hard isn’t it. Thank you for sharing. You guys will definitley get there! How have you found your TTC journey? Is there anything you’ve changed or recommended? My DH is 33 so like he’s getting a bit worried to be honest but hopefully it’s ok. We will get this. Also aren’t TWWs the worse!???

@AKcheer actually I think we were on another ttc thread together recently! I’ve found it shit tbh. I have a really irregular cycle so I never know if/when I’m ovulating or when I should be trying etc, despite trying to track with temp and OPKs. I’m jealous of people who have a normal cycle 😂 but no, really, I’ve been looking at it in a positive light, DH and I have had chance to be just us for longer than we planned and that’s been truly lovely. Got to find positives, always.

Like others have said, try not to let it get to you. Especially this early on - after I read up on it I found out how many things need to happen at the right time for it to work which helped.

I'm almost 31 and coming to the end of cycle 4 with no luck and have to have a word with myself every time AF arrives - so definitely let yourself feel disappointed but stay positive for the next cycle .

2 or 3 months is not a long time at all in terms of TTC so don't feel disheartened. Most women do conceive within 12 months if you keep at it. It took me 2 months the first time but then around 18 months (and one miscarriage) the second. I wouldn't be concerned at all at your stage. Try to stay positive. Good luck.

You should just ignore the people that are pressuring you. I know it’s easier said than done. I’m early thirties and have been trying for months. At first, like you, I was super stressed out about it. Sex Ed at school basically makes it sound like you could get pregnant just looking at sperm. After a long chat with my GP, I realised that I am a completely normal, healthy person who just needs to chill out a bit. You’re a couple of years younger than me so don’t worry. You have got soooooo much time left.

@Parkandride Oh wow that really puts things into perspective!! That’s crazy. It’s strange isn’t it. Do everything the right way...take the supplements, have less wine and it’s still so difficult! Ahh I know I think relaxation is key and I thought I was relaxed last month haha! I will give that book a go! Thank you :)

@MoltenLasagne oh wow congratulations! You must be so excited!! Nope I came off the pill last year probably around November time. I’m taking vitamin D so I just need to be patient. It’s just so awkward I don’t like telling people what I’m doing I’m quite a private person so it’s really hard for me to tell people yes I’m trying. I feel they will constantly judge me!!

Absolutely hang in there! I had always been told that the women our family fell pregnant instantly, and many of my friends fell pregnant on first cycle. I was convinced I'd be the same.

It took us 8 months of ttc to fall pregnant but there were a few factors. I'm 34, I'd been on birth control for about 15 years, and I was also going through bereavement counselling at the beginning of the year. All that along with the 'you'll fall pregnant instantly' pressure was too much. In June I pretty much had a tantrum as I wanted a baby and we'd been really trying every month and it just didn't seem to be happening.

In July I threw all ovulation sticks out, deleted social media and spent some time on Me. It may be a coincidence but We were very lucky to fall pregnant in July and I'm 8 weeks pregnant now. Please keep your spirits up. I'm now a firm believer that it'll happen 'when it's right'. Hang in there. Good luck with everything.

@Ughmaybenot ahhh yes I remember! I thought your username looked familiar!! I love your honesty - it’s been shit!! I’ve been using this opk stuff and I’m getting a LH surge and a dark line so hope that is a good thing!! I think I need to look at the positive side a well which I am going to start doing! I just want something to look forward to!!!

@Rumples Hey! Thanks for your advice! Are you TTC number 1 too? I just realised I mean I will be 31 in a few months! Il try and stay positive! It’s just a waiting game isn’t it.

@ellenpartridge Hello! Yes I will try and be patient. It’s just hard and got me down but I just need to get on with it. I even read the stats and I’m like just give it 6 months at least woman!!

@rincewindspotato I completely agree! I spent most my life trying to not get pregnant and if I knew it was so hard I don’t think I would have needed to do all those things haha! Why is it so easy in the books! It’s a massive wake up though. I’m enjoying the time with hubby I’m just so impatient! Oh that’s good! How long after did you go to the GP?

@CakeAndPreggers firstly a massive Congratulations!! That’s great news!! You must be so excited! Sounds like you had a lot going on but got there in the end! That gives me so much positivity - there is light at the end of the tunnel. It’s just mad like I’m finding myself overanalysing everything. Even when I get my period I’m like is thus a normal period? Is this how it use to be!? Ahhh

Hi everyone. I feel exactly the same. At 38 things seem even more complicated and difficult. Particularly after trying for over a year. If you know of any success stories of natural conception after 38 please share. Baby dust to everyone! Let’s keep positive.

Honestly can relate, I’m 30 TTC baby number 1 and this is cycle 5, ALL my friends fell first month and speak to me as if I must be doing something wrong 🙄🤣 I’m using OPKs, tempting and having LOTS of sex🤣

Once I’d done done research I realised it’s not uncommon and that’s it very normal to worry there’s something wrong, all very normal concerns!

As other posters have said even if you do everything right there’s still only a 1/3 chance of pregnancy!

Sending you all lots of baby dust x

Hey @Kermit7 are you trying for your first too? It’s hard isn’t it but we will get there! We have got this!! Baby dust to you xx

@Littlebee1990 Omg this is literally my life!! And I’m here like I know how to have sex! My friends didn’t even use all this OPK stuff haha. Yes it’s not uncommon but I guess we are impatient!! Baby dust to you as well! Where about are you in your cycle?

Honestly it drives me mad, they all know my cycle better than me .. so they think!

I’m 4DPO, I had a early misscarriage at 5 weeks in June (cycle 3) and my cycles have gone from 28 to 40ish days, it’s so long!!

@AKcheer Thank you! We will get there. Yes - trying for first.

@Littlebee1990 hahaha I hear you girl! Oh no I’m sorry to hear about your miscarriage. That is a long cycle but hopefully you’ll be back on track in no time and fingers crossed for you xx

@Kermit7 ❤️❤️

Why on earth do people think it's ok to keep asking why you're not pregnant yet? Like it's anyone else's business! Ask them if they want to come over next time you have sex to check if you're doing it right! Honestly it makes the journey for us all so much harder when people try to get involved in things that don't concern them. It just takes some people longer than others! I've been TTC for over a year now and we're about to start IVF and it's hard but it's our journey and nobody else's. Please try to ignore other people and try not to compare yourself. You're right at the start of your journey so try to enjoy it rather than stressing too much about it. xx

@AKcheer got to be honest 😂 honestly I was getting so down in the dumps and had to sort of have a word with myself. My life is really lovely, and my husband is lovely, and we’ve a lot to keep us busy and me getting all stroppy that I didn’t get pregnant immediately was sort of taking the shine off that iyswim? I don’t want to look back in ten years and think ‘oh I wasted that whole year (or whatever) stressing’ because chances are I’ll have a baby (or a couple!) by then!

@MF1981 oh my god do not get me started!! I’ve begun to just be really blunt and a bit rude back because seriously people need to know that asking that shit isn’t okay. Not necessarily saying we are trying but just shutting it down. Talk about rubbing salt in the wound!

Hi everyone! Hope you are all having a good day. Just a quick question - do any of you use pre-conception vitamins? Which ones are the best? I have been taking folic acid and vitamins d and b12 individually but thinking about getting something like Pregnacare. Does it mess up with your cycle? Any thoughts would be appreciated. Ps. Sorry for going off topic a bit.