I'm so over trying to figure this out - please help

[ThoughtIKnewItAll]

Hi Ladies,

I'm hoping someone can give me some insight or advice, because the internet research out there (AND the books I have) are all contradicting each other.

We are in month 20 of TTC our first.

My periods are normal, always right on time. I used to do the whole BBT thing, had an app, the works. But decided to stop tracking 6 months ago as it was making me stressed and depressed.

This month, for the first time ever in my life, I suddenly had spotting on cycle day 17. I have a 28 day cycle. I usually ovulate around cycle day 11-13.

I thought it might be implantation bleeding, as some of my book sources say it can happen as soon as 4do. Stupidly, I got excited and thought that this could finally be it.

I waited 4 days and then peed on a stick this morning. Nothing. Not even a faint line.

I am so completely and utterly gutted. I'm tired of getting my hopes up.

I realise that it might be too early as I'm a week away from my expected period, but surely if it was IB it would have showed up on a test after 4 days?

I can't find an answer anywhere to tell me how long after IB you need to take a HPT.

Anyone had IB and got negatives for a long time initially?

Or do I now start to worry about cyst or fibroids?

Sorry for the rant, but I'm just so over it. A friend who fell pregnant immediately with both her kids sat me down a week ago to explain how our cycles work and how to get pregnant - she clearly thought that anyone trying for as long as we have are idiots who don't know what they're doing.

I'm tired of wondering. Tired of picking myself up month after month. Tired of explaining that yes, we do want kids, but we're trusting that it'll happen in the right time. I'm tired of hoping. And I'm tired of people telling me to 'just relax' - this coming from women with broods of kids and saying they know what it feels like because they tried for 3 months before conceiving.

So please, if someone, ANYONE, could just help me understand what the heck is happening to my body, I would really appreciate it.

Sorry.. Thought I'd elaborate:

The spotting lasted for only half an hour. Was super light, but clear as day. Light/dark brown and one spot of red. I had cramps the whole day after.

My boobs are super sore, but they always are this time of the month.

I'm sorry it's been so frustrating for you. Regarding this cycle, the spotting sounds promising. If you can at all, wait until the day AF is due or the day before. I wouldn't rule yourself out yet. Sometimes it takes a while for the hormone to reach testing levels x

@calimommy

I'm sorry it's been so frustrating for you. Regarding this cycle, the spotting sounds promising. If you can at all, wait until the day AF is due or the day before. I wouldn't rule yourself out yet. Sometimes it takes a while for the hormone to reach testing levels x

Thanks so much. I'm trying not to hope, but also trying not to NOT hope, if you know what I mean. Your kindness really means a lot.

Sorry to hear how tough you're having it. TTC can be such a cruel process.

If we assume you ovulated when you usually do then even if you did implant early then you will have been testing between 8-10DPO. Lots of people don't get a BFP until they're at least 12DPO, and as you know you're not out unless your period arrives.

Also even people with regular cycles sometimes have the odd one where they ovulate late. So potentially it could have been spotting as a result of ovulation.

Fingers crossed for you that this month is the month, you're definitely not out yet but I can understand your reservations.

Have you considered that the spotting could have been ovulation and you’ve ovulated a little later than usual? I always spot a bit around the time of ovulation, it’s like my CM has a browny tinge to it. Always correlates with me getting a positive OPK and all other signs of ovulation.

@Curiosity101 Thanks. It's a day later and I'm feeling a bit better. Perhaps it was ovulation bleeding instead. So we'll just have to wait and see.

@Littlepoppet1 Could be... I've just never had it before. Do you usually get cramping with it too? I had period-like cramps all of the next day, an d I was super bloated like I usually am on the first day of my period. Does this also happen with ovulation bleeding?

I can appreciate the frustration with TTC. I've been TTC 10yrs with 3 losses and no kids. If you've been TTC 20mths, what tests have you had so far? Bloods, hycosy, scans, AMA, semen analysis etc etc??? If not, I'd see your GP ASAP to get things started and get referred to a fertility clinic.

I use a reusable saliva OPK, as never get a positive from the urine ones. Spotting can occur after intercourse, or just from egg rupture too- not always implantation. I've had implantation bleed on 2 of my pregnancies and didnt get a positive preg test for at least 5 days after. I've read it takes at least 4 days to build up enough hCG to be detected on the very early tests. Best of luck, but do get checked out if not done so already x

It does for me, get brown tinged EWCM for about 3 days then on the 4th day I feel crampy, bloated and nauseous which is usually the day i ovulate or occasionally the day after. Actually feel pretty crap all day on ov day! Happens like clockwork every month.

@Littlepoppet1 I'm exactly the same on ovulation day. Crampy, bloated and nauseous. Then the next day like magic I'm fine 🤷

@Elouera Thanks, will see what happens. If I'm not pregnant, I'll definitely get the spotting checked out.

I've had some tests done, but will see what the GP says if I do go in for this. Trying to avoid medical centers at the moment with Covid...

Thanks for the insight into what you've experienced - it does help even if it means the possible explanations are varied.

And so sorry you've been trying for so long. I can't even imagine. But I do hope that you're in a good head space about it - sounds like you are. That's encouraging.

@Littlepoppet1 Wow that's interesting. And good to know! I only had the spotting for half an hour, then cramps the next day. No cramps since, but seriously moody and nauseous.

Not that symptom spotting helps, because it could be ovulation, implantation or absolutely nothing - haha!

But your insight helps. I'd never have considered ovulation bleeding otherwise. Guess we'll wait and see.

I'll be testing again this Thursday, a week after the spotting, and then only after AF is due if it's negative. Who knows?

Ladies, you're really helping me a lot.

Just having someone to sound off to and get some experienced weigh-ins from means the world. I feel like such a broken record and no longer want to talk about this to friends and family.

You've really lifted my spirits.

I'll keep you updated

Update: AF arrived yesterday. So it wasn't implantation. Might have been ovulation bleeding.

If it happens again I'll have it checked out.

Fed up.

Eugh I'm with you TTC is really really getting me down now

I'm so triggered by pregnancy announcements it's making me into a horrible person

Sorry to hear AF showed up