How do you cope with TTC?

[Trudycat89]

My partner and I have been TTC for 16 months now, and I'm desperate for some coping mechanisms!!

The days of feeling excited during the tww and imagining every twinge was a sign of implantation feel like a lifetime ago now. Our life is now filled with tracking and waiting for the inevitable period to come - no hopeful expectations anymore! Every time a friend gets pregnant, I feel so guilty that my initial reaction is to burst into tears feeling sorry for myself - I'm super happy for them and know everyone has their own struggles, which then makes me feel worse for reacting selfishly! (Luckily this hasn't happened in person... yet!!)

So if it's taking you longer to conceive, how do you cope?! I need some coping mechanisms!

(Sorry if this has been asked before - I did look but couldn't find anything, and I can't imagine I'm the only one feeling like this!)

Hi not really any help here just couldn't not post! Sorry your struggling! Can I ask are you seeking any help? As I'm sure over 12 months you can get help x

Have you been to Dr? We took 15 months to conceive no 1. I booked a dr appointment at 14 months and it instantly made me relax and feel better about it i think because it felt like I had taken control. Low and behold the day of my dr appointment we got our bfp

I'm nearly 10 months in now (sadly 2 chemicals in that time) and don't know the answer.

@lastbany thanks for the reply - I've not been to the dr yet - I've been putting off since the 12 month mark 🙈 I will contact them next week. Hopefully some answers will help

@Merrz that's amazing that you got your bfp on the day of your appt!! I've been burying my head in the sand a bit about the drs but need to get myself to them. I've heard lots of stories like yours, and it's always really promisingly hear!

@CurbsideProphet I'm sorry to hear about your chemical pregnancies. That's awful. I suppose the positives about me having nothing is I've not had the excitement of a bfp and then the sadness that comes from it going. I can't imagine how hard that is. Sending lots of luck to you, it's a hard and often lonely process

I'm sorry @Trudycat89 I haven't been trying as long but I think from your user name you are younger than me so in a better position age wise. We've just had our second BFP then early chemical pregnancy miscarriage and just feeling so hopefulness it's just not fair that some good people just can't get pregnant and others seem to have no trouble - so unfair! I have my fingers crossed for you 🤞

@ChocChipPancake I am really looking forward to not thinking about ovulation tests one day 🙈 I'm fed up of tracking! Like you, I think at least getting tests and knowing will provide clarity. I'm just hiding from that a bit at the moment, which isn't very helpful! I hadn't thought about Instagram, I'll have to have a look into some accounts - thank you. I hope your IVF consultation goes well! Good luck!

@2020mission sorry to hear about your chemical pregnancy. It's so tough. Yes I'm 31, so still a good age for ttc, I just have to remind myself of this!! You're so right, it really does feel unfair!! Fingers crossed for you too!

After 12 months TTC you should speak to your GP. They can arrange bloods, a sperm analysis and referral to fertility clinic. It doesn’t necessarily mean you need IVF, there are other possibilities. I would definitely make this step now as it can all take time to arrange, particularly with covid.

@Houndabouttown you're right. I fully intended to at the 12 month mark, but we kept thinking 'one more month...'. I'm going to contact my gp on Monday. I think putting it on here is making me feel more accountable and will make me do it!!

Good luck with it all

@Houndabouttown thanks 😊

Good Luck tomorrow
For me booking the Dr appointment really seemed to take the pressure off

@Merrz thanks! I contacted them today and they've asked me to book in for blood tests. Already feel a bit better knowing we've got the ball rolling.

Oh that's good. Please let us know how you get on

It’s hard, very hard.

It’s exhausting trying and even more mentally straining waiting around for your period/BFP.

I’m kind of over it, feel numb now tbh ☹️

@Merrz I'll keep you updated! 😊 First blood tests are on Monday. It went from relief to nerves pretty quickly! But at least we're doing something!!

@Hariboz I know exactly how you feel. I've said a fair few times that maybe we should just stop and live a life of celibacy (all the fun has been taken out of that side of things!). But luckily my husband talks me round. I did what @ChocChipPancake suggested last night and followed some Instagram accounts. It actually really helped seeing others talk about how they coped, and seeing visual representations of other people's journeys in comics and illustrations. I think it always helps to feel you're not alone, especially when surrounded by people in your life who all seem to be pregnant or who haven't gone through this. Sending positive thoughts your way!

Just been reading this thread. Going to create an anonymous Instagram. Been TTC for 2 years and trying to get out of a slump

Hope all are well.

@Trudycat89 I spoke to my GP last week after hitting the 12 month point (I'm 36, so a bit older than you I assume). I was similarly really reluctant to do it earlier but it has actually helped me to relax!

I'm booked in for blood tests and my partner needs to get an SA at his GP practice, then I'll get referred to the fertility clinic. It feels like peace of mind to know we'll either find out if something is getting in the way and deal with that, or we'll know it's just taking a bit longer.

@Lea2020 I hope you managed to find some good accounts to follow. It's really hard to get out of the slump isn't it? I hope you're doing ok!

@Semele5069 it's good that you've gone to the gp! I have my fingers crossed for you! I was feeling a bit more relaxed for a couple of days but when I had my first blood test on Monday I was so nervous, and didn't sleep the night before getting the results (which ended up coming back normal). I think I need to get out of my head a bit!! Good luck with the tests 😊

@Trudycat89 would you mind sharing some of the Instagram accounts you've found useful?

I don't have any advice I'm afraid, been TTC 2 years with 2 losses and getting pretty fed up of it now

Hope your appointments go well!

@Daffodil21 I'm sorry to hear about your losses. I can't imagine how hard that is.
These are the accounts that I follow - I think it helps to see others feeling the same way and that these feeling are normal. Rubbish, but normal!

Infertilityillustrated
Fertilit_arty
Hilariously_infertile
While_we.wait
Becomingmaternal
Pregnant she
Thettctribe

@Trudycat89 thank you very much!

@Trudycat89 I've just received my conceive plus fertility lube this week! Cycle number 2 and AF has just arrived today and after reading the reviews on Amazon I'm hoping we get as lucky as the other people using it! Fingers crossed for you as well :) x