Dealing with close friends falling pregnant

[FebruaryJuly]

I feel absolutely terrible for writing this and wish I didn't feel like this but I don't know how to make myself feel different😩.

Does anybody else (who has been trying for a while for a baby) find it hard to be over the moon for close family and friends who fall pregnant? I have 3 close friends/family members who have announced that they are due around the same time and a few work friends and more distant friends who are also expecting. I really struggle to be around anybody when they are talking about it and feel like I am seeing pregnant women everywhere I go . All I want is to feel super happy for them and enjoy watching them post about their pregnancies but we have been trying for almost a year now with no luck.

Many people may say that I am being selfish and need to stop worrying, but I tell myself that every day and try to lighten up and I just can't

Feeling really low about it and I have even considered deactivating my social media accounts so I don't have to go through the pain of seeing it all after having so many negatives

In your case I'd look into fertility treatments. There are plenty of treatments available aside from ivf that can help you. I know several people who easily conceived their first but needed iui for their second.

@justanotherneighinparadise sorry for my lack of knowledge! Could you please tell me whether MMC too accounts for what you said second infertility. I am 25 years old and I was able to fall pregnant quickly first time but this time taking 4 cycles and going on.

@justanotherneighinparadise

Thank you for your really detailed advice! I will definitely look o to my diet in different ways if we haven't hit it this month! Xx

@Shinea

I am so sorry for your loss have you spoken to anybody close to you about how you are feeling? Sending my love xx

@Metallicalover we are going into our 8th month now which feels like ages compared to do conceiving our son (2 months). We both have before trying had issues found with us that can cause infertility so the doctor is being really helpful and proactive. I am going for my bloods today to see if I am ovulating and he has a sperm analysis tomorrow. I'm very lucky that they are getting the hall rolling before 12 months. My doctor has said that if we get to 12 months I will have a laparoscopy to remove any found endometriosis which can ever make me extremely fertile or less fertile (that's why she's waiting until 12 months). I was offered a laparoscopy at the beginning of last year but refused it as I knew we were going to TTC very soon xx

[quote Shinea]@justanotherneighinparadise sorry for my lack of knowledge! Could you please tell me whether MMC too accounts for what you said second infertility. I am 25 years old and I was able to fall pregnant quickly first time but this time taking 4 cycles and going on.[/quote]
MMC is usually a chromosome issue with the egg and as the cells multiply there’s an issue and the developing foetus doesn’t make it. It’s awfully common unfortunately but has no bearing on anything you did or didn’t do. You are very young and I have no doubt at all you will fall pregnant again abs carry to term xx

@13Victoria I have been checking CM and some months there has been some to note not other months hardly any. I have never tempted but I am having my bloods today to see if I am ovulating so that should give me some type of answer. Xx

I could have written this post. It took 13 cycles for us to conceive DC2 and my heart broke with each new cycle and each pregnancy announcement. I’m 34+4 now and I still have to mute some people on Facebook so I can’t see their posts.

OP, try not to lose hope. My DD is 6.5 now and that’s a bigger gap than we wanted. It took us over a year and we’re both in our 20s too, I don’t drink and we both don’t smoke. Sometimes it just takes longer.

You are not at all being selfish and are allowed to have a good cry. I have been in this situation, we had failed IVF, and sadly I will never be a mum. Time does help, but sometimes the ‘grief’ comes out of nowhere. One of my closest friends was terrified of telling me and we had a good cry together and then I was genuinely over the moon although sadly hers didn’t have a happy ending and my heart broke for her. Be kind to yourself and I hope everything works out for you.

You really are not selfish, I 100% feel your pain, I had a miscarriage in may. I would have been due in January and lately so many close friends and work colleagues are suddenly announcing pregnancy and a few are due in January and I’m really struggling with this! I’m too scared to tell anyone because I don’t want to come across as harsh, I’m not saying they don’t deserve to be happy but I struggle to understand why I can’t have some happiness as well! Every month I get another BFN I feel my heart break a little bit more, I sometimes feel like giving up trying,

I completely understand and relate to how you feel. We are over 2 years into trying and nothing, Clomid and IVF didn’t even work. Meanwhile one friend of mine conceived and had 2 children while we have been trying. I have spent chunks of time off social media which l have found useful

@FebruaryJuly I am better now, getting through days everyday. @justanotherneighinparadise thanks for the hope, fingers crossed 🤞

My consultant always said it f you can fall pregnant you are very likely to carry a baby to term. It’s the people that couldn’t fall pregnant that were more of a worry to her.

@justanotherneighinparadise agreed, if I actually fell pregnant, I'd feel confident, I just worry about my endometriosis only showing up after having my son and my partners issues also only showing up 3 years after conceiving our son x

Wow you have just brought a tear to my eye, reading how your feeling was just like reading a diary of my life!! I fully understand how your feeling! Your not alone! I also try to avoid situations where I think the topic of babies and children will be brought up, and I’m the same as you about everyone now knowing we are trying since the miscarriage so now they are all expecting me to break the news, I have some work colleagues even asking me “are you pregnant yet?” I get so upset and angry at those comments, but I smile through it and then when I’m alone I cry