Previous ectopic, would you ttc during pandemic

[Jackoliver2011]

Hi, After a bit of advice really, previous to covid, my partner and I was ttc conceive for two years, we unfortunatly had an ectopic which resulted in tube removal and then i went on to have 2 early misscarages one being right before lockdown. Giving the current situation we the decided it may be best to stop ttc for a while as I have been so scared of covid and what would happen if I got pregnant and it was etcopic again and having to face maybe not receiving proper care (early location scan etc) or having to go through it alone in hospital. I am now starting to think whether it would be safe to start trying again or not, I'm 30 and my partner is 44 so I feel we don't have time to wait, I have a 9 year old son and so desperate for him to have a sibling, i just don't want to waste anymore time but on the other hand I'm so frightened if I do get pregnant and whether it will be safe or not (I have OCD so my anxiety has gone sky high during the pandemic) Sorry for long message I could just really do with some advice/opinions. Thank you

[Workingmama1]

Ho @jackoliver2011, sorry to hear about your ectopic and loses.

I think while not ideal, now isn't the worst time to be ttc. In had a mmc during lockdown, and if I'm honest my treatment was awful. I never saw anyone apart from the sonographer, when I had a slight temperature and was worried about an infection the only advice I had was dont come to the hospital if it goes about 37.6 in case it's covid (no watch out for these infection symptoms etc). In fact I never set foot in the epu and I had 4 scans!

I'm now pregnant again and had persistent pains on one side and rang epu. They referred me to my gp who managed to get me into the epu. I was seen by a lovely healthcare assistant who did temp, blood pressure, medical history etc (never had that last time) and was scanned the same day, thankfully not ectopic. Honestly it was chalk and cheese.

Obviously if we have a second wave everything could change again but I've found my care so far to be good. One thing is those no partners at scans appointments etc still in my trust. Good luck whatever you decide.

[ProudMummy2011]

Hi congratulations on your pregnancy, hope all goes well for you. Sorry for your previous loss and not getting the right care, this is what scares me as with my last ectopic I went to the doctors they told me its properly nothing and wait 2 weeks if still getting pains, a day later I just knew something wasn't right so went to epu they admitted me that night and I went straight down to surgury as I was just about to rupture...im frightened if it was to happen again I would get listened to even less and not given the early placement scan that I will now need with any other pregnancies due to previous ectopic. I couldnt just sit they and wait until the 12 week scan as I would be so worried I'd drive myself mad. I have looked into getting a private early scan so maybe this is an option. It is such a hard decision, weve put ttc on hold for nearly 5 months now as we felt it may be safer but I really want to try again now, it hurts so much wanting another little addition to our family and I feel we are running out of time (ideally I would love 2 more) just feels like it will never happen after trying to conceive for so long. Thank you for sharing your experience its nice to hear from someone who's pregnant and receiving care currently in the pandenic xx

[MrsB2019x]

Sorry for your losses 💙 I had an ectopic in April, right at the peak of Covid, and really couldn’t fault the care I had. They even scanned me at 5+4 despite reservations that they wouldn’t see anything. They were so caring too. I think because a hospital is the last place you want to be during a pandemic and because you’re on your own they showed a lot of empathy.

Ultimately the decision is yours but I think if you feel ready to try again, go for it x

[ProudMummy2011]

MrsB2019 so sorry to hear about your loss, its awful at thr best of times but harder facing it alone. Glad you was looked after well and given support. I dont doubt the nurses try their hardest but given current circumstances I heard they was unable to do the early placement scan so its good to hear if you do need it its still available. I've also found out there is a private scan place near me that offers it so I could go there too, I just couldn't sit and wait until 12 weeks not knowing. Thank you for sharing your experience, I definitely know i want to try again to the point it hurts, just so scared...i feel like time keeps going by there, will already be a pretty big age gap with my son now and I would love him to grow up with brothers and sisters, i would ideally love two more. I guess I just need to take the plunge and go for it as we just don't know how long this situation will be around or how long i will even take to get pregnant, just at the moment it feels like it will never happen x

[MrsB2019x]

@ProudMummy2011 I think it differs between each hospital tbh, but private scan places are still open and I believe they let you bring partners whereas NHS don’t. There will always be help available for you if you need it, you might regret it if you hold back on a ‘what if’ basis x

[ProudMummy2011]

You are right, I definatly would regret it if I looked back a year down the line and think weve wasted time. We was due to get married in October this year but had to postpone now until March 2022 because of covid so now really would be the perfect time to start trying again. I guess I just need to start thinking a little bit more positive and stop being such a worrier haha. Thank you for your advice xx