TTC during Coronavirus

[MontyFALD]

Hi all!

I'm still very new to all of this so I'm sure there's already a thread for this but I can't find it!

So my partner and I have been TTC for 2 years (few miscarriages during this time) we stopped trying due to Coronavirus but now want to start again!

Just looking out to see if there are others TTC or are most people putting this on hold during this uncertain time.

I also worry thats as it will be my first pregnancy (if I get pregnant) I will miss out on the "norm" of people holding baby when born, of partners at scans etc (I know this can now be done but I'm so worried about a second lockdown!)

I've done some online research and have found no strong arguments for or against TTC during Rona!

Any opinions would be fab! Would love to chat about this!

Monty

Hi Monty,

Also TTC for nearly 2 years (also with MCs). We didn't stop TTC because of COVID though.

If you want to chat to others who are also TTC you'd be welcome in this group:

TTC Thread #2 www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/3941503-ttc-thread-2

Hi Monty, this is exactly why I've turned to this forum I'm glad I'm not the only one in this boat. We had a MC just before christmas and were going to try again from may but held off due to covid. I'm having the same concerns about wanting to enjoy the process as it would b my first so want all the normal of partners at scans and going baby shopping and grandparents visiting once babies here.
DH is happy to try again and friends are saying the same as him, we can't put our lives on hold forever and who knows when this will all go away, or if it even will (no guarantee a vaccine will actually be found and I've read that waiting for the herd immunity so its in general circulation and we can to go back to normal could be 2 years min).
DH said put it to me like this, would I rather have the 'normal' experience, or have a baby in my arms sooner. My answer was even if were totally locked down again I would much rather so it with baby than without. I'm still concerned about all the other stuff and havnt fully made my mind up yet but I hope it helps u to hear someone else's thought process.

@FurBabyMum02 Hi!

So good to hear from someone in the same boat you get kinda lonely stewing it over with just your partner and a few close people!

I'm sure there are other threads on here somewhere there must be others talking about this!

Sorry to hear about your MC, it's heartbreaking especially around Christmas time when focus is on family ❤️

I really like what your DH saying about would you rather it be with a baby and the ideas answer is well yes obviously! BUT for me - I can't shake the worry that if I waited even 6 more months before starting TTC again - would the world be in a better place, granparents able to hug their grandchild is the main thing that goes around my head!

Strangely my DH is the same as me, one hour we're certain we're going to start to try again the next it's a definite no! So so crazy!

Thank you, it was a hard Christmas this year but staying positive that next time will b fine.

I know the feeling going round in circles inside your own head convincing yourself 1 min and the next changing ur mind, its hard with there being no proper advice about it. If someone just came out and told me what to do that would be such a relief!

I totally get the 6 months wait debate, hopefully the world will b looking much better then. But say u get ur BFP straight away there's a min of 9 months to wait, hopefully that's enough time for things to be OK enough for grandparents to be able to visit.

TBH the more I think about it the more I'm convincing myself to go ahead. There are ways to minimise the risk of getting covid, try to c ppl in open spaces, online baby shopping etc., garden baby shower possibly. With the scans the first would would be the most worrying for me to be by myself as that's when we found out about the MC last time but I've seen u can go private for an early scan and DH can come. Then with the grandparents holding once baby is here I'm just hoping that its far enough away that things are better and if not then there's always the option of all of us isolating for x days before hand for the first hugs.

Those are the main concern areas for me but there's always a way. Do u have any other worries I should mb add to the list?

I understand what your saying about the current pandemic, however there's not a definite answer as to when this virus will be gone. So are you happy to just hold off until it's completely gone knowing that this could be next month, next year, or not at all? At first I was cautious about it all but I'm now currently 9 weeks pregnant and not letting this virus dictate when my family grows🙅🏻‍♀️

My husband and I are planning to TTC in October once he passes his work probation period in a few weeks. We did have a discussion about waiting til the current climate was over but we also figured that could be 6 months or 6 years and we just don't know. I am 32 and my husband has fertility issues so it's likely to take us a long time.

Whilst CV is a concern there may be some benefits to being pregnant during this period e.g. working from home whilst morning sickness is a factor rather than a hot train journey every day, husband also WFH, not going out as much so if feel rough don't feel the pressure, not planning big holidays anyway etc.

You've got to do what is right for you. You can't base your life on what ifs etc

Thank u guys, I am leaning that way tbh, theres no way of knowing how long until all this is done with. From what I've seen its either wait for a vaccine which may never be invented or wait for it to be in general circulation so low chance of infection but that apparently could b up to 2 years.

Good to know that others arnt having major anxiety over it that's reassuring to know.

@FurBabyMum02
See as you come up with ways of making each "worry" into a solution I'm more and more sure I do want to try!

I guess the "only" other concern for me would be that I'd be putting myself / my baby at risk - I know it's a minimal risk from Covid having read the information on the web (if it's correct!) it's a worry!

But yeah we have no idea where things will be in 9 or + months!
Gosh what a confusing time to be TTC!

Hahaha I like that you ask if there are any more worries to add to your list do you have any more worries on your list?

Love your idea of isolating for granparents!

@Bells3032 hi!! How exciting! Thanks for contributing - it's important to take work into consideration and I love your positive spin on it all your points are very true!

For me - I work in other peoples homes so i do worry about "being in the at risk category" and still working! 😣

@ty1996 huge huge congrats! Lovely to have your point of view on here - it's a tough decision at the moment but I completely get your point of view :)

Xx

Yer actually getting covid is a real unknown because no-one knows at the moment if it had any long term effects. That's the main reason we put TTC on hold in the first place tbh. I do feel more comfortable about it now than I did back in may when we first decided that though. Partly because I've seen now how we can reopen some things with measures in place to reduce risk and partly because my work are absolutely amazing and have basically said I can work from home for the foreseeable to minimise risk if I want (super small family company so my boss knows we MC and that were thinking of trying again).

I'm glad u like the solutions haha . Its so great to talk to someone else in the same position and just bounce things around isn't it.

It sounds like ur work would b more difficult having to be hands on in ppls homes. Even with additional ppe I guess its still a worry. I suppose if I were in ur position and u do decide to try I would tell work asap (not wait till 12 weeks like usual) , or even chat to them before, they might have some extra measures they can put in place for u. Transfer to a less risky area of work mb or worst case scenario furlough (not even sure if that's still being offered though)

@FurBabyMum02 how are you getting on with your decision?

We've been really chatting about it this evening and still no closer to a decision haha!

For us we're worried about where the world will be in 9 months (if we were to conceive straight away) it's just such an unknown

But on the flip side ... you just can't predict it anyway! So there is no point in worrying in a way....

I work for a small family company too so I would hopefully be able to talk to them as and when needed 😊