Feeling like it's never going to happen

[tootiredtoclean]

Does anyone feel this way? Been TTC for a while now. Had 3 months of no AF then had one cycle and now it appears I'm not ovulating again. I don't know what else I can do except wait for that 1 year mark where we can get help. I knew it wouldn't be easy, however, I didn't anticipate it to not be ovulating at all.

To top it off it feels like everyone I know is pregnant or giving birth. Someone close to me conceived on the pill and it's feeling like the final straw.

I know how you feel. It took 13 cycles to conceive DD2 with a chemical at the very beginning and many many many pregnancy announcements from others. We were just about to go to the GP to look into tests when I got my BFP. I’m now 33+5.

It felt like it was never going to happen and we tried loads of different things to see if they would help. The month I did conceive, we used SMEP, I had been on different tablets to pregnacare for just over a month and I was using OPKs.

Keep going! TTC is horrendous but so worth it in the end.

Similar story to PP, 18 cycles, constant symptom spotting, tried temping, struggled with ovulation tests, used different brands of fertility lubes. Around Christmas my husband and I spoke about going to the doctor in the new year and then a big surprise in January that I was pregnant. Currently 33+4. I know how tough it is. My best friend had two 'accidental' (although extremely loved and wanted) babies in the time we were planning and actively trying for a baby. She also got another BFP a few weeks before I got mine. It can be so difficult seeing those around you getting on without a struggle, but just persevere. Try to not turn it into a chore and just enjoy the closeness you and your partner have

Thank you. We were using pregnacare but read that could be the cause to my disrupted cycles so stopped. We are trying SMEP this cycle but I'm not ovulating again so it's not really gone to plan. I would try anything but if I'm not ovulating it can't happen.

It's so hard to hear about the accidental stories. I can get over the planned BFPs as I can imagine they've bee long awaited too. I feel bad for being so jealous all the time.

Congratulations on your BFPs. You both must be due at the same time.

@tootiredtoclean it can feel so disheartening. I don't want to sound rude, I'm genuinely asking but how do you know you're not ovulating? Are you temping? I'd recommend asking the GP for day 21 bloods to double check. OPKs don't work for everyone and even when they show a positive it doesn't mean ovulation actually happened, it just incidates it could have

Hey @tootiredtoclean - not sure what investigations you might have had but at 3 months with no period and no ovulation (post pill) my GP agreed to run hormone and androgen bloods (but not 21 day bloods as I had no cycle so they wouldn't be able to time them) and also referred me on to gynaecology at 4months. I was quite clear with the GP that I am TTC (and over 30). This is NHS in Scotland. Hopefully you can make some headway too. I know how demoralising it is when you feel like you are just waiting to even TRY to conceive.

@Stabal @TheDaydreamBelievers GP won't do tests yet. They are really hard to get to do anything. I just get the same response of just wait and see it'll happen. Last time he went through diet and exercise (I'm a healthy BMI size 10).

I know because I have a light bleed every 2 weeks when I've not ovulated. If I'm lucky it'll go to 3 weeks. I get positive OPKs and my cycle will last 28 days when I have ovulated, plus EWCM. Currently my OPKs are BFN's and I just know.

I've got endometriosis and had a large ovarian cyst removed a year or so back.

Honestly, I'd change GP. Especially since you have an endo diagnosis. They like the year time point because that's how long it can take to conceive if things are ticking along just fine. But you have evidence of irregular cycles and no ovulation. If you dont mind me asking, what age are you? I'd be tempted to ask to speak to a different GP or change practices

@tootiredtoclean I'm with everyone else, get another doctor! Asking for hormone profiles to be done is a normal request, not necessarily deemed for fertility. I hope you can get seen soon!

@Stabal and @TheDaydreamBelievers I'm only 25 so still quite young. I've spent years getting my life sorted to have a child and give it everything I did not have. We'd happily adopt if we can't have our own but until we know that we can't it's more waiting.

I'm in a semi remote village so I could ask to be seen by a doctor at their sister practice in the next village to begin with. Otherwise changing GP will be quite difficult being out of catchment area (although I will definitely give it a go).

Would be good to get some bloods to know what's going on. I've been in for bloods (for something unrelated) and my GP refused to do anything else while I was there. Said they wouldn't be able to tell anything by them

That's definitely not the case @tootiredtoclean - not saying your GP is lying, just a lot dont know much about fertility. Even within the same practice one of my GPs was like "we will need to wait 6 months for referral " whilst another said "nah that's weird, let's refer now".

Mine checked hormones - because I had no cycle they cant check the 21 day ones (that see if ovulating) but this did spot that my prolactin was high (probably what's stopping me ovulating/having a period). Hormone bloods can also flag potential PCOS. Then they checked androgens which will flag for any androgen disorders. They also checked thyroid and diabetes, both of which can impact on fertility. So theres a lot they can look at prior to 6 months, even with no clear cycle. Pro tip - if you can get them to do bloods, ask for the actual values when they feed them back, not just "all fine"

NHS website itself says you should see GP if 1yr of trying OR other reason to believe there are atypicalities (which you have) then says:

"Fertility tests for women
Tests to find out the cause of infertility in women include:

Blood tests
Samples of your blood can be tested for a hormone called progesterone to check whether you're ovulating.

The timing of the test is based on how regular your periods are.

If you have irregular periods, you'll be offered a test to measure hormones called gonadotrophins, which stimulate the ovaries to produce eggs."

The NICE guideline also says they should be checking hormone levels and thyroid in primary care as 2 of the main possible causes of weird cycles/no ovulation

Just to check- are you recently off of the pill? Sorry if I missed this. Might be one reason they wont pursue it till 6 months .

Totally know where you're coming from! It can totally suck!! It took me 8 months and then I had a mmc, followed by another 8 months ttc. I'm now 34+2 and both times I conceived I truly believed that I'd never fall pregnant and had given up in my mind. It's a hard journey to understand for people who fall pregnant quickly/accidentally. Wishing you baby dust!

@TheDaydreamBelievers it's been more than 6 months. I will definitely be using the NICE guidelines for getting the doctor to support us more. They seem to be quoting what to do to support conceiving from the NHS website e.g diet, exercise, smoking, drinking etc which we already follow.

The 'treatment' for my cyst was to go on the pill to reduce it growing back so I also worry the longer it takes the bigger it will get.

@Chanel05 Sorry to hear you had a MMC and congratulations on your rainbow baby.
Maybe giving up is the secret in all this! TTC can be so isolating