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Original poster

Please help. Is having 3 kids as hard as people say it is?

27 replies

mrsHartley · 30/07/2020 11:53

I just had a shock positive test. My oldest is 11 my youngest only 7 months old.
My appointment to get the implant was postponed due to covid so I was put on the pill. I was advised to stop that and change to another as it didn't suit me well at all.
Honestly feel awful. Feel guilty. Scared I won't give my baby the attention she deserves.
I'm just completely confused as I took all precautions.
I don't think I could terminate but I really didn't want this so soon. Positive stories appreciated.

OP posts:
Flutterpieandpinkieshy · 30/07/2020 13:28

I have three... A 7 year old, 2 year old, 1 year old and due number 4 in March!

No, it's not difficult. It's certainly less stressful going from 2-3 than 1-2. You'll find if you already have a routine in place that it's easy. If you don't have a routine, I highly suggest that you start putting one in place.

It's very lively, it can be difficult at times but it's certainly not something I ever regret. Both my 3rd and pending 4th were accidents. But I look at DD3 and she's the most perfect child. So sweet and angelic.

I wouldn't trade it for the world.

3-4 however...

I'll get back to you on that. Lol

glassbrightly · 30/07/2020 13:34

Way easier than 1-2, mine are 6,4 and nearly 2.

NoodleKT · 30/07/2020 14:52

We have three (2 year old BD, 2 year old SD and 7 year old SD) it's a little chaotic but I wouldn't change it for the world x

Russiandolleyes · 30/07/2020 15:42

I think your oldest being 11 will make a huge difference to the view that 3 is so hard - very different to having 3 under 4, for example!
I have 3: 11, 9 and 1. The older two are wonderful with their little sister and can be useful if I need them to be - although I'm careful not to turn it into a babysitting relationship and have to make more of an effort to find time to give the older ones my full attention.

The gap between my first two was 16 months and I won't lie - it was hard. But my exH wasn't around much and we'd moved area, so it was very lonely and intense. Are you happy with the amount of support you get now?

howfarwevecome · 30/07/2020 15:48

We have 3. On purpose, though. Grin

Seriously. When my oldest was just 4, we had our 3rd, so had baby, 2 and 4. And it was fine. Absolutely fine. Easy enough as we were still in the 'baby zone' of nappies (with 2 year old) then starting all over again. If your DH is actually helpful and does his share, it makes it easier.

Breathe. And think about what you want down the line before you make any decisions. You don't have to go ahead with the pregnancy now if you're not ready, as sleepless nights do take a toll. But they do generally come to an end relatively quickly.

oldwhyno · 30/07/2020 15:52

Congrats, 3 is the magic number!

Feralkidsatthecampsite · 30/07/2020 15:53

Can't remember that far back... I have 11...

INeedNewShoes · 30/07/2020 16:02

My mother said it was easy when we were kids (two year age gaps between the three of us). Apparently we were perfect angels until we turned into teenagers Grin So you'll be alright for a while...

Original poster
mrsHartley · 30/07/2020 16:07

Thank you everyone.
Yes a huge shock we just moved into a 3 bed house and the day after I find out I'm pregnant. My partner is a brilliant dad and he's very happy.
I'm just dreading pregnancy again (and really annoyed that I threw away all of my maternity clothes last week!!)

OP posts:
kayakingmum · 30/07/2020 19:34

Can I ask if your method of contraceptive let you down or if you missed taking the pill for a day or so? The reason I ask is because I'm relying on the pill so wondered if there are issues with reliability.

I hope you enjoy having 3. I'm the youngest of four and my mum believes the jump from 3 to 4 is easier than from 2 to 3 and the jump from 2 to 3 is easier than 1 to 2. If that makes sense.

Original poster
mrsHartley · 30/07/2020 22:05

Cerazette I've never ever had issues before.

OP posts:
cakeandcustard · 30/07/2020 22:19

No it's fine, we did it on purpose too😁 You'll be fine, x

Steph777 · 30/07/2020 22:21

I had an 7, 18 month and new born . Honestly it was fine, hard work obviously but the 7 year old was a great help. Having the 2 boys so close was a lot better than i thought. Major gripe though was pushing a double pram - hated that thing !

Enjoy x

KenDodd · 30/07/2020 22:22

No, it's fine. I had a baby, a one year old and a two year old.

Canyousewcushions · 30/07/2020 22:33

We've found both the fun and chaos have been exponential. DC2 can be a bit of a handful so adding a third into the mix was definitely a harder step than 1-2. But the fun has been amazing, DC3 is just tremendous and the interaction between them all are just lovely. If I could go back I'd definitely still have a third as the fun well and truly outweighs the additional chaos.

OhioOhioOhio · 30/07/2020 22:39

It will be wonderful.

EdwardCullensBiteOnTheSide · 30/07/2020 22:45

3 is hard yes BUT one of yours is 11, that's not the same as if they were all small. Having two so close together as yours will be is lovely. I have two 11 months apart. They are the best of friends it was almost like having twins when they were babies.
Congratulations!

HollyHocks13 · 30/07/2020 22:52

I have 3 - they're now 14, 12 and 10. I can honestly say that going from 2 to 3 children was easy, easier than 1 to 2 and far easier than 0 to 1. It was less of a shock to the system and my 3rd just slotted into family life immediately...

JemimaShore · 30/07/2020 22:54

Your 11 year old should be able to help?

I have 3, and the newborn age, and the terrible 2's were hard, I won't deny it. But I had closer age gaps - 2-3yrs between each. So I had a newborn, one at preschool, and one at school. It was a lot of running around/juggling, often with a crying babe in my arms Confused

Plus we moved house when youngest was 6mths old - we're just gluttons for punishment I guess Grin

Don't regret it though - love having 3 Smile

Oly4 · 30/07/2020 22:55

Yes it’s hard but it’s also the best thing I’ve ever done!
Having an 11yo will make life easier.
Congratulations

MrsM36 · 30/07/2020 22:57

We have 3 girls who are 14yrs, 11yrs & 21mths. Our number 3 was a complete surprise - I had been on the pill & was taking it religiously when we found out I was pregnant. The only hard part for me was going back to the newborn stage again & our now middle daughter found it quite hard at first (she had been our baby for 10 years, so it was understandable). To be honest other than that, it has been pretty smooth sailing - our youngest adores her big sisters & they absolutely dote on her. Xx

Original poster
mrsHartley · 31/07/2020 11:26

Bit confused and sad. Went for a very early scan to confirm and there was nothing there. No baby. And 2 of their 25mlu pregnancy tests were negative.
But I have 15 positive at home!
I'm spotting now.
Just so confused. And a bit sad

OP posts:
Mummydaydreams · 31/07/2020 13:57

Sorry to hear that. It's understandable you feel confused and sad- that's so much life changing news you've had in a really short space of time and your hormones must be affected too. Look after yourself and take it a bit easy if you can while you process all this.

babychange12 · 31/07/2020 14:17

Thanks take care of yourself op.

Original poster
mrsHartley · 31/07/2020 14:17

Thank you everyone. Doesn't look like I'm pregnant anymore. 💔

OP posts:
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