Two years of trying and I'm emotionally exhausted... anyone else with me?

[sophied1983]

My period seems to be on its way - five days of cramps - oh the joy.

It will be two years next month since I came off the pill to try for our second. In that time, I've had one miscarriage at 9.5 weeks and one chemical pregnancy. All the other cycles... sweet FA.

I don't know if I can keep going with it. I feel trapped at the moment work-wise because of course it wouldn't be sensible to look for a new job and lose all the enhanced maternity benefits. But what if we're still trying in another year, or two years... what, I just stay in this weird limbo the whole time?!

Everyone around me seems to be pregnant at the moment including my sister which was a "oh I messed up my pill" scenario. Not really what you want to hear.

I ditched tracking and ovulation testing this year as that was getting me down. We have a fairly healthy sex life - DTD every other day most cycles when not on period.

The older our other one gets (she'll be four in Sept), the further away we're getting from the baby days and I really do wonder sometimes if it's worth all this emotional heartache.

Every month I get my hopes up and the disappointment is overwhelming.

The other option is to take a break from trying for a while, but that doesn't get around the career being on hold. And then if I wait another 1-2 years to try again, I'll be that bit older (will be 37 in October).

I just wondered if anyone else was in the same boat and fancied a chat/ supporting one another. It can be lonely and although my hubby is sympathetic and says the right thing, I don't think he'll ever really know the emotional turmoil I go through every month, particularly since the miscarriage.

Hi @sophied1983 - I’m with you completely!

TTC our first baby. Came off the pill December 2018 and took a couple of months for cycle to reset. Got our BFP in Sept and were so excited but unfortunately wasn’t meant to be when we had a MMC when I thought I was 10weeks but babies (not only did we find our we’d had a MC we also found out I’d been pregnant with twins) were measuring around 7weeks.

Been TTC again since the MC and AF made her appearance again yesterday so on to the next cycle I go.

Hate it when people say it will happen - I just want to scream how the hell do you know that!

I’m 37 and DH is 47 so our ages are not on our side.

It’s such a frustrating process as can do everything at the right time and it just doesn’t happen.

Hey, I hope your ok, I’m in the same boat, my sons just turned five and we’ve been trying for 2 years also, 1 year ago this week since I had a miscarriage. It’s really disheartening isn’t it, I feel like my body and eyes are always tricking me! Constantly feeling what I think are implantation cramps and searching for a a second line that’s never there really hope you get your BFP soon

Hi guys I'm in the same boat! TTC number 1 almost 2 years now. Have had a chemical pregnancy last October and it's just so hard. I've had blood tests and a scan and I'm all ok, husband has low morphology and needs to go back in September to get re tested. Next steps would be IVF or IUI and I'm terrified! Feels like everyone gets pregnant by accident and I just feel like why us?!

I also feel trapped in my job because the maternity is so good. I just wish I knew how it all ends you know? Xxx

Trying for second for 3 years now. At the point of feeling like giving up. I really feel for everyone here and anybody going through this. It's so exhausting

Nearly 5 years ttc a second. Had 3 miscarriages following Ivf. Can’t afford to do any more treatment so praying for a natural miracle but I’m 37 next year and the clock is ticking...just awful x

2 years trying and like the PP I don’t have much time left - every day last week I heard of another friend who announced theirs - you couldn’t make it up .

I feel you OP

@sophied1983 I’m in exactly the same situation! I also have a 4 years old, ttc for 18 months, however much I want another I also am starting to feel past the baby stage and whether this is worth it. Currently recovering from my second miscarriage this year and I’m not sure I can continue to put myself through this. I just can’t understand why other people seem to be able to do this accidentally and getting quite upset now by continual birth and pregnancy announcements. Also in the odd career boat wondering do I hang around here in limbo or make some career progress. The problem now being after multiple miscarriages who will give me a chance if they think I want to have another baby

It's so hard. I am twenty cycles in and it's hell. We are ttc #1 and doing everything right. Investigations have stopped here until August, which doesn't help.

We are in our mid thirties and I have rheumatoid arthritis. I am sure this is causing it, but so far people have been quite dismissive of this.

Every time someone has a 'haha I wasn't trying' baby I feel fury.

Infertility is the pits, like some horrible goddess has put a spell on us.

Chance allowing, we are going to Greece in October and I am hoping beyond hope that that will do it.

I read somewhere the other day about setting intentions for every cycle. Not ttc ones, but something like, this cycle I will be more creative. This cycle I will connect with my partner and remember how much I love him. This cycle I will write or draw or play music. It sounds woo, but am going to do it for my mental health and see if it works.