TTC & Work

[Amtheyest17]

Hi All,

Just looking for some opinions/advice! I am considering TTC, I was adamant that I wanted to wait until next year but not sure what it is about everything that has happened but a flip has switched and now I am really keen to start TTC ASAP.

I have just been offered a great new job (back in an office already, small company, aggressive targets) with a very healthy pay rise, great progression which will make all the difference to me and DH, especially as we are looking to move in the next couple of years!

My current job, although there is no progression or no pay rise on the horizon have just announced that we will be working from home indefinitely with maybe 1 to 2 days a week in the office from September. Its a big organisation so used to maternity leaves and I have been there two years and have a great relationship with my manager so any appointments, time off, or working from home full time wile CV19 is about will be no problem! I also have a network of really close friends within my job.

I am really stuck on what to do, do I take the new job and hold off the baby plans or stay where I am and get cracking? Anyone else gotten pregnant soon after starting a new job? Also how important were the positives I mentioned above about my current job to you when you were pregnant? Also would be interested in any one finding a new job after maternity leave!

A couple of other things:

• I would be really reliant on making mum friends at local groups - not sure if these would operate during the current situation so another reason to wait.

It's hard to say @Amtheyest17 - but other things to consider are your age, if you are on any hormonal contraceptives, and when your new job would become secure enough to TTC (eg how long do you have to work there to qualify for mat leave oay, how long before they cant just fire you without reason?), what you reckon their company ethos is like around parents ("aggressive targets" suggests not great...)

I would agree with @TheDaydreamBelievers, if I was in your position and in my 20's/early 30s then I would probably choose the new job, build my career and move house before TTC. If I was in my mid-30's (as I currently am) I would probably choose to stay put as your current role looks like it has good benefits for a woman starting a family. It is of course a very personal decision to make, good luck with whatever path you choose!

I moved jobs while mid TTC, but I've been trying for a while with no success yet. Some more things to consider (along with age which is a big one)

How happy are you to be at current job for another 2-3 years (9 months pregnancy, 12 months maternity + time getting back into working life)?

How much will you rely on maternity pay? If you get pregnant before starting the new job you'll only be entitled to maternity allowance which isn't much, SMP if you get pregnant soon after joining, and enhanced maternity depending on the company policy (can you find out what it is?)

If it takes you a while to conceive would you regret turning the job down?

There isn't a one right answer but I hope you find the right answer for you!

I agree with everything that's been said so far. It's impossible to say what'll be the right thing for you but all the considerations mentioned above are things I considered.

I was in a similar position a few month before TTC. I really wanted to leave my current place of work for a number of reasons so interviewed and got an offer somewhere else. However I did a pros and cons list and I decided to stay as I just couldn't justify leaving when planning to have a baby and I also really didn't want to wait to TTC.

In the end I had a very tricky pregnancy and actually ended up working from hospital for a few weeks of it! HR and my manager weren't exactly keen on me working from hospital but I explained it was helping to keep me sane rather than me focusing on all the issues I was having in the pregnancy. I was very very glad I stayed, the support I received from my colleagues was invaluable and I don't believe I would have had that if I hadn't already built up lots of great relationships. I was coming towards the end of a very big project at work when I was in and out of hospital and everyone really stepped in to make sure it completed successfully so it was one less thing for me to worry about.

I still want the job I was offered, I was incredibly excited to move, but I've decided I'm going to stay put for the foreseeable. I'm going to finish having babies (we're hoping to TTC a #2) and then consider the other company again in the future. However the new job would be more demanding, so I don't know if it would actually fit with my new lifestyle now that I have a LO in tow.

@Amtheyest17

I totally get your situation. I Was just about to TTC when I got offered a new job.

I had moved to Ireland to have a family. We put off TTC as was living in my mums. Got ourselves sorted with a house and my husbands job after 1.5 years. I was 38 and I felt time was ticking.

It was a big deal as it was an academic job which are hard to come by, and I had been interviewing for 1.5 years. I was only being offered a year contract, which could then be rolled over so far from secure. But I figured if it all fell apart I would Eventually get a new job, but if I run out of time I would so deeply regret not having a baby. There had always been a reason to put it off in my life, so we just decided to go for it.

It took us 6 months to conceive, I made it to the end of term without anyone noticing I was pregnant and got my new contract over the summer. I got A promotion when I was on maternity leave and was made permanent when I came back.

I am in a government organisation so I think it’s more likely than a private organisation that they will follow the letter of the law than a private company. I have a friend who works in HR and she says she constantly has to remind staff in interviews about not discriminating against pregnant women, so it does happen. So it is good to protect yourself from this if you can.

If I was you, I would take the job that I really want. Wait until my probation period is over If it’s not too long and the begin TTC. I know it seems unknown and a bit scary but you will build relationships in your new Job and you will find, people who have kids are really understanding about making accommodations. Even if they are not, they just have to accommodate, there is no other option if your child is sick etc, your whole focus changes and you feel your child is your priority.

Don’t forget it can take sometime to conceive. You spend so long Trying to stay away from sperm it’s easy to feel once you start trying that’s it. It’s entirely possible to get pregnant straight away. Most couples will be pregnant within a year, and others have to try for much longer, even if there is nothing ‘wrong’. It’s an odds game and you can spent a lot of time waiting for the ‘magic to happen’ 🤣. Even if sperm and egg end up in the same place at the same time you have a 30% chance of conception. So it could be a quite few months Or more away even if you start TTC.

We all have to take the plunge! If you want your new job take it, it shouldn’t stop you TTC.

Hope this helps and best of luck with all the big life changes!

I know how you feel, I've been keen to move jobs as I don't love the company I work for and my manager micromanages everything which is a real pain. I held off with moving though as I planned to start TTC in January.

We've now almost reached August, it's 8 months on and I have had no success TTC and could have started a new job, passed probation and been there for 6 months. It's a little frustrating.

I decided to start TTC instead of moving to a new job because I'm 32, and will be at least 33 when having my first baby, if not older, so I didn't feel like I had a lot of time to spare.

I think it's completely down to how you really feel staying at your current job and if you feel like you have time on your side to change jobs and can TTC a little later.

Family is always more important in life than anything but the job you are in can really impact your life too.

Whichever you decide can work, as you'll still have a job. It just might not be the best maternity pay. Maybe the higher salary in the new job long term could make up for less maternity pay though? But would the higher demand in the new job impact family life?

Best of luck either way!