Ttc after a miscarriage

[emmajayden971]

I am a week on from being in hospital for a medically managed missed miscarriage. It has been the hardest thing we have ever experienced. Myself and my partner have sobbed more than I could ever have imagined and I feel empty and numb. We tried for over a year and just as we were loosing hope it was ever going to happen (I appreciate people try a lot longer but I am 24 my partner is 28, both fit and healthy, and on paper we thought it would be straight forward- yeah right) it happened on the 12/13 months of trying. We were so incredibly excited and it was absolutely wanted. I know a lot of people will understand the absolute desperation to conceive again but the complete fear of never wanting to go through this again. My general hospital care and advice was shocking and non existent a lot of knowledge was assumed and as you can imagine a lot of the questions I have a week on did not enter my mind during that time. What are you experienced with TTC after a miscarriage. I’m petrified we will take another year or longer to fall again. It is all I want/ have ever wanted and I don’t know how to start tracking ovulation with sticks etc again or what to expected. Any help/advice/ shared experiences would be brilliant please!

@ @emmajayden971 thank you. I just feel very confused. I wasn't testing after the surgery because I just didn't think to do tests, and one day just randomly did a OPK and it was REALLY positive so I did a pregnancy test and it was positive. My hcg blood level is 500 so hoping it goes up on Thursday 🤞🏻
X

Let us know how you get on. Thinking of you. After what a miscarriage puts you through, you absolutely deserve a happy outcome 💓

Unfortunately it is another ectopic.. this will be my third this year. Surely I'm due some good luck soon. Just want 2020 to finish, it's been the worst year of my life xx

I am so so sorry to hear this 😩 it has been the worse year ever. You are incredibly strong and it will get better. Unfortunately were all riding the shit train at the moment. Look after yourself it’s all so f’in horrendous 💔

I’m not on my third week waiting for my pregnancy test to go to negative. It’s very faint now so I’m
Hoping a few more days might do it. Does anyone have any personal experiences of when they ovulated following their levels returning to 0. I really want to try again before my period again. I know they prefer not to because it’s hard to date but it’s my own choice. It took us a long time to fall before and I don’t want to miss any chances.

@coffeewithmilk I'm so so sorry 😔

@emmajayden971 I ovulated as 'my' normal after getting a negative (20 days after) but I know a lot of people have cycles that are messed around and don't ovulate for a while. Hopefully you will get right back on track 🤞

@emmajayden971 my hpt went negative 21 days after surgery (cd21) and I ovulated on cd31.

Hello all, Shall I join in this thread?
Sorry for all of your losses.
I had MMC at my 20th week in april first week that was supposed to be my anamoly scan but unfortunately heartbeat was stopped. My first AF appeared on May 7 that's exactly 30 days after my medical management.
I have been trying from may and it's my 4th cycle. Just done with AF and cd7 today. I m thinking to use OPKs this time from day 10.

Hi Shinea, so sorry to be replying in the worse circumstances. I have found ovulation tests I cried my useful. We were trying for a year and in the last four months before we conceived I found them
Really great at indentifying my ovulation as the apps had got it wrong by a week and it seemed to change month to month. I would suggest if you really want to catch it and be sure use them
Everyday and when the line starts to even get a tiny bit darker start to test 2-3 times a day to catch it. I know you can record it in apps but I found sticking them
Into a book next to cycle days really helped me identify the line getting darker. Hope that helps 😊

I know everyone is at different points in their journeys but thought I’d check in. Been up since 3am feeling overwhelmed about everything and come out of the bedroom into another and just sat in tears for the last two hours. Really struggling with this overwhelming feeling of what’s happened. It’s like I forget for a little while then it all comes rushing back. I’m really struggling to look forward and think this will ever get better or we will ever have a family. Anyone know how to help myself get through this bevsuse I’m really struggling

@emmajayden971 I'm so sorry you're having a tough time with this. Sometimes I'm fine and other times it hits me. I've found myself up during the night staring at my first scan photo and dye stealer test and wondering how cruel the world is that my baby's heartbeat just stopped. Did EPU give you any information on professional support? The miscarriage association is very good and there is also SANDS.

Our EPU was awful. My partner wants me to put a complaint in but I’m a bit passed bringing it all up at the moment with how they spoke/treated us. I have referred us both for counselling on the NHS but waiting for a response currently. I just can’t see a time where I don’t feel like this. I’m a teacher and the thought of going back is September i am really struggling with.

@emmajayden971 that could take some time, I'd really recommend looking up those associations I mentioned. They've been very good. I work in a high school and went back to work the day after my second dose of misoprostol. I'm not sure I'll cope when all the kids get back and everything is overwhelming and busy.

I have joined the forums and looked at those pages. Thank you. I am a primary teacher and worried about getting overwhelmed when I go back. It’s a hard job to be in at the best of times without this on top. I find it hard to see a lot of children who aren’t given the right attention and care when I desperately want to provide a child with just that.

Hi, I was 7 weeks pregnant and started bleeding on Tuesday and I just knew then it was the end, but two trips to EPU later, two blood tests and a scan today that showed me being as physically empty as I felt emotionally, I've had a MC and it really is the most painful thing I've ever experienced in my life, emotionally. It was my first pregnancy, we had been trying for 8 months when we caught and it felt like a lifetime because I've wanted to be pregnant for so so so long, and now I'm not 💔.

I am desperate already to be pregnant again as I think I won't be truly happy again until I am which I don't think is healthy but that's how it is... so I am hoping to try again as soon as possible. The advice is to wait for first period so they can date you easier but I say screw that!?

My bleeding has stopped mostly and my blood test today confirmed my HCG levels were only 23 down from 215 on Tuesday! So I feel like I'm already almost back to "normal" with such a low level.

I don't know when to even start OPKing because I dunno where I'm at so this first cycle might just be a blind one.

@Bl0ndi3 Sorry to hear that. if you're ready to try again straight away then do it. It's literally only because of the dating that they advise you against it. I tried as soon as my bleeding from the miscarriage stopped at the end of May and I'm nearly certain I had a chemical the next cycle in June. This was my test on the Sunday and by Friday I was bleeding. July cycle had lots of spotting and now I'm on CD7 and AF still here. I just want everything back to normal!

Bl0ndi3 I am still getting the faintest it faint lines 3 weeks after my miscarriage but I feel just like you described!! It’s absolutely awful and i just want to try again as soon as a possible. I am waiting for the tests to be completely negative not showing up even the tiniest line before I use my OPKs as with HCG still in my system they are coming back positive. I’m really hoping that I never have to get my next period and we can fall again as it took us 12 months and you dream of it for so long and it’s ripped away so quickly!

@emmajayden971 it's horrible isn't it, I don't think I'll ever forget the moment that I saw the blood I broke right there and then and burst into tears 🙁 I just want to feel better, I know it's still fresh as only officially had it confirmed today, but I just want to not feel this way anymore.

My HCG level today was 23 so I think I will get a negative test pretty soon, might test in a couple of days and see. I'm quite glad of my low HCG as it must be horrid waiting for the opposite of you want so I'm so sorry you're going through that.

@Stabal I think I will just try again soon as bleeding stops and it feels right. We never actively TTC as in I would OPK and tell OH when we need to DTD or whatever. I tracked my cycle and tried to encourage DTD at the right times and used OPKs a few times. I think I wanna OPK this Month so I can see what if anything is happening, it would be amazing to catch first month but it's doubtful so won't hold out too much hope. It's still very raw for me but I just want to be pregnant :(

Bl0ndi3
It is such a rubbish feeling and I’ll be completely honest 3 weeks on it still feels like that but I remind myself that lots of strong women go through this and come out the other side and that’s what you need to hang on to. We can’t changed what’s happened but we can move forward and we have the opportunity to try again and hopefully that time will be our time.

Waiting for the test to go to negative is extremely frustrating today is 3 weeks and 5 days since I had the tablets in hospital for the miscarriage and my test is showing the most faintest line you can imagine but it’s so frustrating because obviously a line means the hormone is still their. When I was tested at 7 weeks my HCG was 38,000 so I think it’s just taken it’s time to come down. Like you I just want to get on with my ovulation sticks and hope that I can fall again (I feel like I deserve some luck after trying for a year initially) but with even the slightest HCG ovulation are positive. I don’t think I’ll feel better until I’m pregnant again and I know some people will think that’s awful and I will never forget but it’s just how I feel. It’s how I think the emptiness will start to heal for me. Xxx