Cramping help please give me hope

[AmesK]

Hi everyone,

So I posted yesterday, am in a pretty bad way. Have been TTC for 2 years and feel absolutely deflated. I guess I’m just trying to give myself some hope which I know is silly and I won’t really know anything until I test again but here goes.

So this cycle I did everything I could do. DTD every other day throughout the cycle, day 21 bloods showed I ovulated and I didn’t have the usual af cramps a week before. I really thought I’d get my BFP, just felt like this was my month.
However, yesterday, a day before AF was supposed to arrive, the tell tale signs started- a very crampy, heavy, twisted achy feeling in the uterus and back and a tiny speck of blood with discharge (these are my normal AF signs)

The flow takes a few days to get fully started so I know I won’t bleed for the next day or two but am just wondering if there is still any chance? My uterus feels EXACTLY like before AF- down to the heavy feeling, the kind of fullness and dragging down sensation, like there’s a tap that’s waiting to open (my normal feeling) and lots of gurgling in the abdomen (again normal).

Did anyone else have such symptoms or get their EXACT af symptoms and still get BFP?

Please share your stories so I can feel less down xx

Hi I think it’s important not to get to hopeful as I have been ttc for 18 months and even with full on bfn tests and AF symptoms I’ve convinced myself it’s late implantation. It makes it even worse when it does come - The constant rollercoaster of hope and loss of hope
I suggest as you’re close to AF why not test ? If it’s bfn that’s most likely your answer

. I burst into tears this last cycle as I also get AF cramps a week before AF and I thought it was coming but the next days they eased off and I got a bfp 8dpo . I didn’t get any blood spotting though .
AF and pg can be similar, only testing or waiting it out will give you answers . I know how horrible it all is though , this journey is so hard , big hugs and good luck xx

@Sunshinelove8 Thank you so much for this :) You’re so right, I do it to myself every cycle and it’s always terrible. I was just so convinced that my lack of pre af cramps this month meant I would get my BFP but you’re right, it’s unlikely.

Thank you for your good wishes! Many many congratulations on your BFP!! :) Wishing you a happy, healthy pregnancy

( can I ask a cheeky question? Did you do anything different this month to get your BFP? I’m out of ideas hahah) xx

I really hope you do get your bfp This cycle or next 🤞

I did a few things different. I took royal jelly and evening primrose oil as two separate supplements. I happened to read a woman took royal jelly and it worked . I also took progesterone pessary ( I had some spare from last mc) at 6dpo . I wonder if my low progesterone ( always low in Luteul phase) May have affected implantation. It’s worth getting yours tested at cd21 . I also didn’t drink for a month and ate a Mediterranean diet but I’ve also got pregnant drinking like a fish so not sure that made any difference! X

@Sunshinelove8 ooh thanks, will look into these!

I actually had day 21 bloods done this cycle and my level was 77, which I’m told is a sign you’ve ovulated. Which is why I was so down! Because I was DTD every other day so what went wrong?? I’m at the end of my patience now, I’m running out, if that makes sense?

Sorry if I sound crazy, I’m just so thrown because I thought this was my month ( which I have absolutely never thought before)

Has your husband had any fertility tests done?

I know it's hard but try not to symptom spot, itll just make it hurt more.

Everything crossed you get your BFP soon

@Nottherealslimshady

You’re so right! I’ve definitely given up because AF is here now properly. I never test before AF is due as I don’t want to waste too much on tests but I also feel oddly sad that I denied myself the chance to test even though it’ll obviously be negative. Does that sound silly?

My husband has just this week had his sperm analysis so results should be back in about 2 weeks. I’m just so exhausted with it all :(

I was about to start ivf and just got my bfp so it can happen unexpectedly. I’ve had a lot of mcs so not too hopeful but anyway we are just talking about the bfp stage .
Even when I tried to chill about ttc I wasn’t really ( once you know all the signs of ovulation you start the countdown!) it is so so hard . I cried every month I got AF .
You can do everything possible and still not get pregnant. If you watch the sperms journey to the egg ( look on YouTube ) there are soooo many things that have got to work to get bfp. The vaginal pm has got to be exactly right or they can’t swim through , it’s like a marathon assault course to even make it to the egg, then it’s got to get through the egg, and on and on until it faces implanting where there are even more variables ( lining thickness / quality / receptiveness of womb / quality of embryo etc) so it gives you a slim chance each month unfortunately. My best friend is on her second ivf baby in 3 years and she and dh were perfect scores on every test but it just wouldn’t happen until sperm and egg were combined and put back in .
It’s good to get the tests done and keep trying but also consider other avenues if it’s taking a long time and you’re over 35 xxx

@Sunshinelove8 Thank you so much for this. Massive congratulations on your BFP! Hoping you have a very happy and healthy pregnancy :)

I see what you’re saying about it being a marathon assault and I do have a lot of underlying issues so I can logically understand why it might be taking longer for me but my heart is angry and upset, especially when you hear about other people falling pregnant at the drop of a hat (obviously I’m very happy for them but it oddly hurts and makes me feel even worse about myself)

I’ve been waiting for clinics to start again so I can see my gynaecologist after my surgery in Feb for endo but they’ve said they don’t know when the clinics will start up. Do you think I should just consider going private? Might be pricey but ok desperate

If you have some money ( also think about all the money you have saved in lockdown not socialising /travelling!) I would go for it.
Personally, it was the best thing I’ve done . I found out my eggs were low ( and likely quality issues) so have been working on that with supplements etc. I realised I have a progesterone issue which helped me booster it b4 bfp and on tonnes of progesterone right now . For me waiting for nhs was not an option ( 6 months wait at the time - probably more since covid) I don’t have time on my side due to age. Also , I wanted some control back and doing something proactive makes you feel better . You get the facts and then you get options . It helped me decide to ttc naturally for 5 months and then do ivf if it didn’t work out . It felt good there was an end in sight even if that was ivf .
I really believe the saying knowledge is power xxx

Also I totally hear you about other pregnancies. Some forums people have mentioned having the coil in and getting pregnant etc , or missed a pill by accident ( also happened to my friend) it’s hard to take . I spent an entire day crying because of some pregnancy news in my circle I wasn’t expecting. It makes you feel like a shit person ! It’s not that your sad about the other person , your sad at your own situation and it all feels unfair x

@Sunshinelove8 Thank you so much for your reply and for your understanding of it all. That’s exactly how I feel. Like a shit person, a bit of a failure :(

I think you’re right. I need to do something because all this waiting for things to happen and then being left with a fat load of nothing each month is really dragging me down. I shall look into going private and at least seeing what it is I can do next! Thanks so much

Keep me updated ! Crossing everything for you x

@Sunshinelove8 Thank you so much! Will do xx