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Am I overthinking everything

3 replies

Morrighanan · 10/07/2020 22:29

Bear with me as it might be a little long but I don't know if I'm overthinking things.
I am 29 and have been NTNP with my fiance since October 2019, and as of a few months ago actively trying (temping, LH, CM etc). I am planning to get married in June 2021.

Around March 2019 I had presented as emergency to the gynaecologist with pelvic pain that I thought might have been my IUD moving. She did an ultrasound and told me that IUD was fine, but I was having an haemorrhage inside my ovary. She also noted 'polycystic morphology' in the other ovary. She asked me about my periods and things and I thought they were normal so she basically sent me on my way.

After this I was a bit shaken up and checked more carefully as I had tracked my periods for years for but not really paid attention. I realised I was having long (~35-39 days) and irregular cycles and extremely heavy, long periods. I decided to get the IUD removed and switch to the pill, and also asked my GP at the time to do the hormone tests to rule out PCOS (given the irregular periods and what was seen on scan being on my mind).

Couple weeks later, the GP must have been distracted that day and he originally told me that my lab results had come back positive for PCOS. I was pretty upset and immediately stopped the pill, wanting to figure out what the hell was going on with my cycles, and me and partner decided to NTNP. A few weeks later when I called back to query my actual results the GP told me everything was normal and I don't have PCOS?? In any case he offered to refer me back to gynaecologist and I said yes. Gynae sends me back a letter saying that I don't need to worry and referral unnecessary; I don't have PCOS and they don't manage it there anyway.

So this was in October 2019. Since then I've been having regular unprotected sex, and in the last 3 months, actively trying by charting, BBT, cervical mucus, LH tests, and constant BD a week around whenever it seems like I might be ovulating. My periods are much lighter, and since losing a bit of weight my cycles have come within a 'normal' range. But they are still irregular, and they seem like they're progressively getting shorter. In just over a year I've gone from a 39 day cycle to a 25 day one. There is no consistency (last 3 were 25, 26 and 32).
I also had anorexia aged 19-25, though i never lost my period. Without all of this, I would have probably just waited until I was married to start trying, but I am seriously starting to get stressed and upset about potential infertility.

My fiance has not been tested officially but the home sperm count test says he has a normal count.

So we come to right now. I have a wedding planned for June next year. I ideally would like to be calm enough to put a pause on TTC until after my wedding as late pregnancy/delivery/having a newborn would probably mean I either wouldn't be able to enjoy the day, or risk having to cancel it outright. As I haven't been trying for a year as with NHS advice I keep telling myself it's fine but I keep worrying. I worry if we stop TTC now (and go back on contraception), the 'clock will reset' ala the NHS and it will be another full year of trying when there could be something wrong. I'm also feeling tremendously guilty and that I should be prioritising having a child over a wedding anyway. Fiancé says he thinks I'm overreacting though he is keen to have a baby as soon as possible and has expressed similar concerns.

TLDR I have quite a few factors that might lead to trouble conceiving, and have been NTNP for 9 months. Ideally want to put a pause on things now but scared to do so. Want to know if I am overreacting by worrying, would the NHS listen to me if I sought investigation?

Please be kind as I am feeling quite fragile about all of it and very self critical already currently. Sad

OP posts:
Rhubarbe · 11/07/2020 06:08

Hello,

It sounds like everything has become a bit overwhelming for you.
Do you reliably confirm ovulation with temping? The concern with short cycles is that your luteal phase might be short and make implantation difficult. This can be related to progesterone levels.
I think if you have been actively trying for 3 months then I would try not to worry - couples with no problems only have a 25% chance of conceiving on a well-timed cycle, and it is normal to take up to a year to conceive. That said, I think with the change in your periods it would be worth seeing your GP to sound out whether there are any investigations that could either put your mind at rest about potentially stopping TTC for a little while, or help you make a decision about carrying on.
TTC can be so emotional and stressful, I hope things become a little easier for you.

Sunshinelove8 · 11/07/2020 07:52

I just got pregnant on a cycle that went from 28 to 25 days , it’s a bit all over the place . I ovulated day 10 this time .
I actually had my dd before I got married because I was 37 and had had some tests of my egg count etc that showed it was low . So we had her and got married when she was 18 months old . We then tried again after the honeymoon but have had numerous miscarriages, probably due to age.
How old are you? If you are early 30 a or younger I would say that’s a little less pressure . If you’re older , in my opinion , to me , having a child was more important that waiting a year for a wedding and delaying ttc but that was just me .
Of you want to wait til after the wedding , I’d suggest getting some tests done to reassure yourself . Check your egg count , your progesterone etc etc I went private and got one cycle monitored where they checked everything out . It will let you know whether there are any issues or anything which means you need to ttc now and not wait.
As others have said 3 months trying without success is very normal , that wouldn’t me x

Sunshinelove8 · 11/07/2020 07:52

‘Worry’

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