35+ Conceiving first baby (TTC #1)

[IzziC]

Hello! Feeling a bit alone here as I don't know anyone else who's in the same boat as me. My close friends either had their children in their 20s, got pregnant accidentally, or had IVF. Anyone else relate to the obsessive app checking, and stick peeing?! (And the stomach sickening feeling that we've left it too late, when all we were trying to do was get our shit together! 🤦‍♀️)

oh hiiiiiii! yeah i can totally relate to that...although only had a month of obsessive checking ;) sure it will continue tho! figured what will be will be...which is why we realised we really better crack on now as dont want a life of regret that we didnt get our sh*t together sooner!!!
this is only our first proper month TTC, altho kinda started DTD in june but think was probably too late in the cycle for it productive!
ive learnt so much in past month about cycles its insane...never realised there was so much to it!!

Tell me about it! And the lingo! It's all just so frustrating, A+B at the right time should =C, and yet nope. Only been trying 2 months though. I made the decision to tell my work family that we're trying, because I work in radiology and it's not the sort of thing you can keep quiet about for long. They're all full of disgustingly positive stories of that person they know who had a baby at 40. No mention of whether that was after their 4th cycle of IVF! So far I've just been estimating my ovulation window with Ovia app to track my cycle, but this month I think I'll pee on the ovulation sticks.

I’m only 33, but my mother had a successful pregnancy at 41. She had a mc the previous month, but got her bfp the next month. Had a very healthy pregnancy, & I now have an annoying 10 year old brother.

I don’t believe she did opk’s or tracking at the time, but it can and does happen.

I think she’s a much more relaxed mother now too as opposed to being 21 when she had me.

He definitely gets away with more than I ever did 😂

Hope that can give you some hope ❤️

Hi! I am 36. Just about to start trying but learning as much as I can just now! I know what you mean about wishing you had got your stuff together earlier!!

Hey ladies some of us aren’t in the right place to try any earlier ! If you’ve not met the right guy , are living in shared accommodation with mates etc it’s not always doable ! I had my first baby at 37 after three month ttc . I’m pg now at 39 but have had three mcs this last year so not that excited unfortunately. I would say the risk of mc is greater the older you are and that’s the main thing ( I’m pretty sure my mcs were chromosomal issues but can never be sure) however , my mum and sister had babies in their 40s ( I’m one of them!) it is definitely possible x

Also some things I did to help any way I could ( I have a low egg count)

Took the following vitamins ( I can’t take prenatal vits as intolerant to iron so take them separately)
Ubiquinol ( can help egg quality)
Magnesium
Royal jelly
Evening primrose oil
High strength folic acid
Selenium
Omega fish oils
Vitamin d spray
Vitamin b12 spray

I focused on a Mediterranean diet ( more fish / veg ) still ate chocolate and bread but just not at my usual levels lol

I gave up drink for last 6 weeks but that was because I was preparing for ivf , I’ve got pregnant before while still drinking the odd glass during tww so not sure how much it helped .

Good luck xxx

Sorry also took zinc and vitamin c

I tracked AF for around 8 or 9 months before DH decided he was ready to start trying (after family ill health made him reconsider). We started TTC at 35, had a MC then success a few months after that. Currently 7 months along now 😊

It's so hard when you're taught in school to use contraception and not taught how long or hard it can be to conceive, then spend your 20s getting your shit together and spending all that time actively trying to NOT get pregnant, then when it doesn't happen as easily as school led you to believe all those years before by the time you're in your 30s....you get a bit obsessed!
I tracked on 4 different apps and even though same data was going into each, the dates were still different each month sometimes even a week out of sync with each other! 🧐 Then, when you do get your BFP and all goes well then you eventually tell your friends who had kids in their 20s,they don't express the slightest of interest or excitement for you and instead comment on how they wouldn't even consider it at this age too tired too old can't do attitude, and you're back to feeling alone all over again.
It's a roller-coaster, but a fab one IMO. Good luck ladies!

@Sunshinelove8 Tell me about it! And the assumption that you've prioritised your career. The truth of it is that I spent my 30th birthday jobless and homeless, and I've only been with my husband 2 years. Yes there are wellwishers with their stories of hope, but they are rarely of natural conceptions of first time pregnancies at 40. It's so nice to have others on here that I don't feel like the only one in the world!

I'm in the same boat, I'm a couple of months away from 36. I got pregnant 1st month trying in January which ended in mmc in April. Started trying again in May. I wasn't taking any supplements before conceiving but my gp said I should go on pregnacare original with folic and vitamin d. Been on it since and I think my stomach is sensitive to too much iron so I've bought tables that are combined vitamin d with folic acid to see if it helps.

@lynz2020 Hi! I've put my back out at the moment so baby making is on pause for a couple of months. And losing a couple of months will bring me up to 36 which feels devastating! Was chatting to one of my closest friends who I love dearly, who accidentally got pregnant (app to avoid), without trying, at age 29. This didn't help! 🤦‍♀️

@Margo34

I tracked AF for around 8 or 9 months before DH decided he was ready to start trying (after family ill health made him reconsider). We started TTC at 35, had a MC then success a few months after that. Currently 7 months along now 😊

It's so hard when you're taught in school to use contraception and not taught how long or hard it can be to conceive, then spend your 20s getting your shit together and spending all that time actively trying to NOT get pregnant, then when it doesn't happen as easily as school led you to believe all those years before by the time you're in your 30s....you get a bit obsessed!
I tracked on 4 different apps and even though same data was going into each, the dates were still different each month sometimes even a week out of sync with each other! 🧐 Then, when you do get your BFP and all goes well then you eventually tell your friends who had kids in their 20s,they don't express the slightest of interest or excitement for you and instead comment on how they wouldn't even consider it at this age too tired too old can't do attitude, and you're back to feeling alone all over again.
It's a roller-coaster, but a fab one IMO. Good luck ladies!

Yesss! Go @Margo34! I think it took a couple of months for both me and my husband to get used to changing our mindset from 'shit can't get pregnant' to 'ooh pregnancy is now the desired outcome'! I'm totally hanging on mumsnet so that I don't end up sounding like a crazy obsessed person to my husband 🙄

@IzziC health is a pain when it comes to this. I got married at 33 and my husband was 37. Ive had leg issues over the last 3 years which turned out to be a blocked artery in my leg which had to be operated on. I'm now 35 (36 in September) and my husband just turned 39. I had my op last July where they made me stay in blood thinners so I couldn't do anything until they let me off them in January and we conceived right away when ended in April. Been trying properly again since May. Isn't coming as easy. Probably because of thinking about it and my husband has been stressed with work even though he is working from home because of the virus.

Ok so I've been seeing loads on these threads about SMEP which is basically a free booklet you can download off kindle and applebooks etc called The Sperm Meet Egg Plan. If you too have obsessive tendancies towards over planning, then this is the bed time read for you! 😉