Preconception planning - anyone want to join?

[sunflowersaremyfav93]

Hello!

I've been reading loads on the importance of pre-conception nutrition and preparing your body. Some say 3 months before and I've seen some that say 6 months before.

I find myself trawling through threads on Mumsnet but wondered if there were any ladies planning to start TTC in the next few months and wanted a forum to chat about ways to prepare / excitement of it all etc.

I often find myself going on to my bf and mum and they're like ok ok! 😂

Just took better picture, def looks pretty dark now. Decisions decisions, we had intercourse last night but didnt know I could be ovulating. Now I'm thinking, dam is this right time to get pregnant 😂 there is a better pic

@KittyT30 If you did it yesterday, there's still a chance of pregnancy, sperm hangs around for a good long time. I'm clearly very bad at this 'pre'-conception business, because my first thought was to get straight on it 😂

@queenatom time will def tell. Husband not here at min, but home later so see what he says. Unless the deed ready been done and iv already swimmers there 😂... but not always result in pregnancy anyway. Some people know when ovulating but still don't get pregnant. So il try not to get too excited. 😂

@KittyT30 True, think I read that, even if you get the timing perfect, the chance of conception in any given cycle is still only 30% or so.

Hi everyone, I hope it’s not too late to join? I’ve just been reading through all the comments and have never joined a forum before but thought I’d give it a go! It’s been really interesting reading all your stories, and I’ve got my fingers crossed for all of you! A little bit about me:

I’m nearly 33 and married my DH in October 2019.
I came off the pill in May (had been on it for 16 years!) and had a withdrawal bleed and then my first natural period in mid-June. Currently using condoms as BC.
I’m using the Clue app which predicts my next period is due this weekend.

I’ve had baby fever for as long as I can remember but my husband is very cautious. The only thing we ever argue about is TTC, we finally had a long talk about it recently and he finally agreed we could start trying before Christmas, so I’m going to try and work my magic to start Sept/Oct (fingers crossed!) I started taking folic acid last week in preparation as I read that if you start taking it at least 2 months before conception then it reduces the risk of your baby developing an issue like spina bifida by up to 70%!
Has anyone else struggled with getting their OH to agree a timeframe of when to start TTC? Xx

@lollipop87 Hello! I know exactly what you mean, me and my bf would only ever argue about when to start TTC. I've had baby fever for a while now, we bought our first home last May and I honestly wanted to start then. I'm also a real planner so I like to plan things in advance, we settled on April then with a bit of convincing it got moved earlier to Feb. He wants one just as much as me but similar to your DH he is very cautious so we're also using condoms atm. I just really emphasised that it most likely won't happen straight away, I think my bf was under the impression the one time we dint use condoms we'll get pregnant but I went on about that and then told him that it's a compromise and whilst he wanted to start in April I was asking for two months earlier and it's not all what he wants (obv all said nicely). I think for me I keep thinking it could take 6 months + to fall pregnant. I'd have liked to start now but we also have his sisters wedding to consider.

Are you taking Vitamin D as well? Xx

Hey All!
Can I join in too please? Had my IUD (copper) taken out this week and we’ve started trying. Does anyone think / know if different positions are more likely to result in success? I’m sooo impatient for it to happen now!
xxx

Hi @sunflowersaremyfav93! Loving this thread already That sounds very similar, it’s as if men think that as soon as you agree to try a baby will just magically appear! I’ve had to very gently explain to him that it could take a few months of trying and then a baby takes nearly 10 months to grow so realistically we won’t have a baby actually in our arms for at least a year from when we start! When he looked at it that way I think he was like oh yeah! I was taking vitamin D throughout the strict lockdown period but mainly for my own health as couldn’t go outside very often. Haven’t started taking it again as it’s summer but will definitely start once we stop using condoms. We did have my friend’s wedding to consider as it was going to be abroad next May and I didn’t want to fly in early pregnancy or heavily pregnant, but due to COVID and some family stuff she’s now getting married in the UK which means I don’t have to plan around it as much. Is your bf’s sister’s wedding close to where you live?

@maloney123 congrats on starting TTC! My boss swore by this book she read that gave best positions and timing for success and broken down into whether you wanted a boy or a girl! Can’t remember what it’s called but I can ask her! Xx

@Lollipop87 Thank you 😊 oh yes please if you wouldn’t mind asking!

@lollipop87 I’m just so pleased other people also plan this far in advance and I have people to talk to about it. Only one of my friends is TTC and she is having problems so I don’t want to go on to her.
Exactly, when you think about the time it takes to fall and then the time before you actually give birth it feels like ages! Ah good at least you’ve got plenty of Vit d in. I read loads about having enough vitamin D I don’t even know if I’m taking the right dosage.
Ah you’re so lucky! So my best friend is getting married in Richmond in May, the Maid of Honor wants to do a hen in Barcelona but I’m just going to say no to day. And then my sis in law is getting married in Sep in Spain so if we fall straight away then it will be ok but not ideal but I highly doubt we’ll fall straight away. It’s very risky though, just not knowing. I’m hoping all the prep I’m doing now means I fall within the first 2/3 cycles?

@maloney123 Hello! Apparently missionary with a few pillows underneath the women’s back? But would be interested to know more!

@sunflowersaremyfav93 hey! I know what you mean - I’m hoping to get pregnant in time to go to a friend’s wedding abroad next summer but very conscious that’s quite unlikely to happen. But positive thinking! Someone else has said doggy so I’ll experiment with both and keep you posted

Yay more crazy Planners. Hurrah. Welcome everyone.

As for the position question I heard that missionary and doggy are best for depth and gravity reasons

Anyone am keen and definitely on board but also anxious about the change it will mean to my life! I'm very settled and happy and I have always wanted to be a mum, I'm 32 so it's not too early in life, I am so excited to be starting this next step but every now and then I get a little wave of anxiety? Is this this right thing for me and my partner? what if x happens?

@wrensandrobins I think it's totally normal to have some anxiety around it - having a baby is a massive change and not something you can un-do once you've done it. It's definitely a bit of a leap of faith but I think you just need to trust that, even if it takes a bit of adjusting to, the good parts of becoming parents will significantly outweigh the challenging bits. Better to be taking it seriously and thinking about it than to go in with rose-tinted glasses!

I'm not sure if anyone else feels the same, but seeing my friends become parents has really helped me work through some of the anxiety I feel about this - yes, their lives look different now that they have kids, but they are still happy, their relationships are good and (once they get past the first year or so) they all still seem to be able to find some time for the things they enjoy.

@Lollipop87 nice to meet you!! I am 33 to (well in 21 days!) I have to agree with pinning down a date for TTC. Whilst me and OH never argued about it, he never really was one for forward planning and always brushed it off as we will talk about it closer to the time. It is only recently as all his friends have slowly started to become parents, that he is more into talking about it.... but I mean the BARE minimum. We agreed October was a good place to start and that's probably as much as I will get out of him!

@sunflowersaremyfav93 isn't it funny how men are so oblivious to how hard it actually is to get pregnant. My OH thought DTD on the day of ovulation will be enough to get us pregnant and I think he had a bit of a panic attack when I said no we are going to need to DTD every other day. (You'd think a guy would be excited at the prospect of that much sex!)

I finally had a chat with my sister as well, and she couldn't care less if I was pregnant or not, she has already started celebrating! She even said if we want to start earlier then do it and not to worry about the outfits! Definitely a weight off my chest but I also don't fancy forking out more money on more clothes!

I am slowly really started to feel bummed out that the idea of being able to go on a hot exotic getaway for one last time before getting pregnant is out of the window.

@wrensandrobins I totally understand, I am feeling more anxious the more the days pass! I am already such a worrier, that I am scared of what I am going to be like when I finally get pregnant. And I mean, when my older sister gave birth to her daughter and she would come stay over, I would not sleep because I wanted to hear the baby breathe all night to make sure she was OK. Even my sister thought I was weird!!

Oh and update, AF showed up last night with a bang. I woke up at 2am with THE worst pains and (TMI - sorry!) it all gushed out, clots and all! Plugged it into my FF app and its thrown all my dates off by a week now. (Yes I am the weirdo that has planned all the possible conception weeks over September, October and November to work out how many weeks I will be at my sisters wedding!) Shoot me now... I am insane

@CookieMonster3001 oh when's your birthday. i think mine is 22 days (aug 1st). I'll be 32

@all the new planners:) Hi!
@CookieMonster3001 I felt sad about our exotic trip that obviously won‘t happen but now I just feel more excited about ttc soon and I think for my body it’s actually more relaxing not to travel and have the time zones etc. so I‘m fine now:) Furthermore with grandparents still around I think it‘ll be okay to go on a romantic holiday if really „needed“ even after having kids:)

My husband is relaxed and happy about our ttc plans but not at all as excited as I am. I think it‘s normal because it‘s not their body that has to suffer/have the great expirience to carry a baby 9 month. :D

Hi ladies,

I'd love to join this thread too please!
It's been really helpful reading the previous posts and information! Also lovely to have people to talk to about all of this!

My backstory is; I'm 31 (next month) this will be mine and my partner's first so all of this is new! He is 38 and a smoker (not sure I can make him part with it for now) otherwise he's healthy..
I had my mirena removed this morning!! I did however have it in for 8 years with little to no periods during.. @butterfly5291 Did you experience this? How long was it before you had your first period? Should I be waiting until my body has regulated itself again?
Sorry to aim these questions at you, you seem to be the only one with a coil removal (very pleased for you that you were able to get it removed, eventually!)

I feel quite overwhelmed with information at this moment in time..I am going to start with the folic acid though- I am pretty healthy myself and as a child carer, I am super active. I did used to go to the gym but obviously that's stopped and I'm worried I won't be able to go back to weight training now that I'm planning on ttc!

Thank you again for this thread.
Good luck to all of us xx

Hi @Emgem89 I had my mirena removed two weeks ago, had a few days of withdrawel bleeding but that didn‘t stop my body from ovulating a few days ago:)! So far I have my regular cycle as I tracked it (temping) before my removal. :) I had a very irregular mens/no mens with the mirena so I am very happy now. Wish you good luck with your cycle. PS: Had a coil for 7 years

@Nate1
Thank you for your reply- I now remember you saying about how amazed your body is.
That's reassuring to hear.. So I presume I can start trying to track and get a handle on what's going on with my body from now on! That's exciting.
Still holding back on starting- it seems a bit trivial but as it's my birthday next month, I'm waiting for my best friend, who works abroad & hasn't been home in a year now- we are going for what used to be our annual camping trip together, get a bit tipsy and look at the stars over the ocean.
I haven't had a drink since Feb so can't imagine I'll last for that many anyway

Are any of you having to give up on drinking or smoking? X

Oops *amazing (not amazed)
Ps. Your tracking looks brilliant- you've really got an organised hold on it @nate1

@Emgem89 Hi.... welcome to the crazy world of TTC!! I'm so glad they were able to get it out in the end too! I can't remember if I've said this already....but yes I had withdrawal bleed on Monday. Been tracking using femometer OPKs, had one day with a slight line but nothing since. Stupidly I am feeling disappointed as I'd hoped to ovulate this weekend as lots of people said they did the week after removal.

Definitely get on the folic acid and vitamin D supplements. Try to get oh to quit too...if for nothing else the extra cash will definitely come in handy for baby bits!

@Nate1 if you had Mirena, how did you track your cycle before it was removed? Would we still have had a cycle? I think I had been experiencing EWCM but never thought anything of it before.

@Emgem89 also...if you haven't had a drink since Feb what have you been doing???!!!

Get a bbt too x

Hi @Emgem89 I’m 27 (partner is older) and this will be first baby for me. My boyfriend has children already though. Neither of us smoke, but we both like wine a bit too much so I will be cutting down on that!

I haven’t been on hormonal contraception for 4 or 5 years, but I don’t think there’s any harm in starting to track straight away? Most of the apps seem to be quite good at instantly updating when they receive new data I’m using Flo and Ovia at the moment, and I’ve started using the LH strips to try and help pinpoint ovulation.

Hi @Emgem89! Definitely some cutting down on the booze to be done in this house. Wine consumption has definitely skyrocketed in this house since March.

I have had some very very light spotting today and generally feeling a bit crampy - hopefully this means my breakthrough bleed is coming and I can get on a proper cycle soon!