Feeling like an idiot

[SequinCola]

I thought I'd been lucky enough to get pregnant first time of trying. I had positive tests two days, three days, four days and six days after AF should have arrived. The last one of which was a digital which said 2-3 weeks.

Today (apparently 5 weeks and 5 days pregnant) I got some bad cramps and the started bleeding. I called 111 who advised me to go to hospital. I did.

Two negative tests there. They wouldn't even scan me, no point. It's just a late period they said. I showed them the photos I took of the tests. I felt like she thought I'd faked it.

I guess it was chemical but I feel like such an idiot.

I'm sorry this has happened to you. You're not an idiot, you had the positive tests. Chemical pregnancies are sadly common.

I'd downloaded all the apps and even read a pregnancy book this week. I thought I was doing it all right. I guess I got ahead of myself.

I've had to cancel my wedding and now this...

Sorry, bit of a pity party over here tonight!

I'm so sorry, how awful for you. You are definitely not an idiot. All any of us have to go on are pregnancy tests and yours were positive. If you were over 5 weeks then I would have thought that was an early miscarriage not a chemical. I'm so sorry you've lost your baby.

That’s awful, I’m so sorry you had to go through that. Just like PP said, I would have expected that to be classified as a early miscarriage. There’s absolutely no reason for you to feel stupid, I’m sure most of us here are all only going by the BFP we get, after all that’s all we can go by. I really hope you’re ok!

The doctor at the hospital really didn't believe I was pregnant. She was nice enough about it but there wasn't any sympathy really. Just "maybe a folicle burst a bit later"

I feel like I wasted everyone's time.

And I feel sad.

You were pregnant. The doctor was the idiot in having such a cold dismissive attitude towards you. So sorry for your loss.

But she doesn't know that. And it doesn't really matter in a way what she thought because the minute a woman sees a positive test then her life and future start changing. You only have to look on here to see the many women who have early miscarriages and/or chemicals and how devastating and upsetting it is. To get that hope and then to have it removed is painful.

Try not to focus on her comments. You know your cycle - she doesn't. Grieve for your loss and then start again when you feel ready.

Hey OP, Sorry this happened to you, the same thing happened to me too. I had 13 positive tests all faint over a week so I kind of knew it would happen but when I started bleeding I called 111 also and went to hospital. When I was there the doctor basically laughed at me when he said 'so you say you are 6 weeks pregnant, well the test is negative, you are not pregnant and have never been pregnant' he said I must have used dodgy tests or read them wrong and this was just a late period. I cried for a couple of days I was very angry also. These doctors need to know what a chemical is, we know what we saw on those tests. It will feel better in a few days just try to not think about it xx

This makes me so angry for you. I'm sorry you had that treatment, I really am - you don't need that confusion and dismissal on top of what you're going through. I've had many miscarriages and the treatment I've received when I've needed to go to hospital has really, really varied - as has the knowledge. Often they really don't know or understand a lot of this. "Maybe a follicle burst a bit later" means absolutely nothing in your situation and doesn't explain very clear positive tests. You know you weren't making those up, so if she's dismissing you on that basis then that says a lot about her and nothing about you.

We're under specialist care with Tommy's now, and any loss I've had that has been that early and "only" confirmed by at home tests "counts" and is taken seriously as part of my history. I think sometimes because there is so little that could or really needs to actually be done from a medical perspective at that stage, doctors just find it easier to just proceed on the basis that there is no pregnancy, and that sort of becomes their truth. But that's not taking your experience into account and, honestly, I really don't understand why they are often keen for us not to recognise our own losses. I can only think it's because they think we're going to try and demand something from them if we do, which is just a crappy patient care dynamic. It's not always like this, we've also had some good care, but this kind of attitude isn't uncommon, sadly.

I'm so sorry for your losses.

I can't help thinking 111 should not have sent me to hospital, I was prepared to just curl up on the sofa at home.

Feeling sorry for myself but will buck up soon I'm sure.

Thank you for your kind replies

The thing with 111 is you say you are pregnant and are bleeding I think they will always send you to hospital x