Are others still delaying TTC because of covid?

[Lagirl20]

Hello,
We were due to start TTC this month. We decided to put it on hold when the pandemic started (general worries about being pregnant right now, contracting the virus, receiving less care, and I am asthmatic). Initially we thought we might be able to TTC in September, but we are worried about a second wave and are considering waiting until January 2021. I am 31.

I am wondering what others are doing? I'd like there to be no judgement either way on this thread please! It's a personal decision for sure but I'm curious how others feel. A big second winter wave is our main worry - we know covid will likely be around in some shape or form for a long time to come potentially.

I am tempted to TTC anyway, as I know it could take a while and we might be wasting precious months of trying. It's so difficult to know what to do!

We put it off in March and April but started in June. We have been discussing it since Sept 2019. At that time I got a new job so wanted to wait until I at least passed my probation. Then once I passed it DH’s mum got ill. Then we put it off because of COVID. So I feel like we’ve been waiting absolutely ages. I’m on furlough and am by far the main earner so I wouldn’t say this is the perfect time. Also I am not great with hospitals/needles so I know I will struggle with solo tests. However, I just don’t think there will be a perfect time given COVID is likely to be around for a long time to come so we’re throwing caution to the wind. I’m just turned 32 so the longer we leave it the harder it will get. I’m not 7dpo so if it’s happened it’s happened!

Hi @Lagirl20, I've been in the same boat as you (in fact I started a thread on this a week or 2 ago!). I had searched for covid+conception threads on mum'snet and there are a few about. What's interesting is the difference between people's discussions in the early days of the outbreak (march/April) vs now where some people were initially quite hostile towards people continuing to try for a baby, whereas now I think the mood has changed a bit. DH and I had decided to postpone ttc due to covid related reasons but I think I may put aside my worries and start ttc again. But that said, I flip back and forward in my mind. Some days I'm like what the hell let's do it! Other days I'm thinking about 2nd waves, whether I'll have to hibernate for 9 months if I did conceive (?) and I get really upset. One lady in another thread called these brain circles, I think that's a great expression for it! We are in a bit of a better position now in the sense that we have a better understanding of the effects of covid on pregnant women but it's a difficult decision. The thought I keep trying to remind myself of is that we are likely to be living with covid for a long long time so it's maybe a question of how long are you prepared to put it off? Xx

@LuckyFlash

We put it off in March and April but started in June. We have been discussing it since Sept 2019. At that time I got a new job so wanted to wait until I at least passed my probation. Then once I passed it DH’s mum got ill. Then we put it off because of COVID. So I feel like we’ve been waiting absolutely ages. I’m on furlough and am by far the main earner so I wouldn’t say this is the perfect time. Also I am not great with hospitals/needles so I know I will struggle with solo tests. However, I just don’t think there will be a perfect time given COVID is likely to be around for a long time to come so we’re throwing caution to the wind. I’m just turned 32 so the longer we leave it the harder it will get. I’m not 7dpo so if it’s happened it’s happened!

Interesting to know, thank you! I agree, covid will be around for a long time to come. And no time is perfect - there will always be something to potentially delay for. Fingers crossed for you! :)

Let us know how you get on @LuckyFlash!! X

@Greyhoundgirly

Hi *@Lagirl20*, I've been in the same boat as you (in fact I started a thread on this a week or 2 ago!). I had searched for covid+conception threads on mum'snet and there are a few about. What's interesting is the difference between people's discussions in the early days of the outbreak (march/April) vs now where some people were initially quite hostile towards people continuing to try for a baby, whereas now I think the mood has changed a bit. DH and I had decided to postpone ttc due to covid related reasons but I think I may put aside my worries and start ttc again. But that said, I flip back and forward in my mind. Some days I'm like what the hell let's do it! Other days I'm thinking about 2nd waves, whether I'll have to hibernate for 9 months if I did conceive (?) and I get really upset. One lady in another thread called these brain circles, I think that's a great expression for it! We are in a bit of a better position now in the sense that we have a better understanding of the effects of covid on pregnant women but it's a difficult decision. The thought I keep trying to remind myself of is that we are likely to be living with covid for a long long time so it's maybe a question of how long are you prepared to put it off? Xx

Thanks for your reply! It is very difficult, isn't it. Covid will definitely be around for a long time and I am not willing to put it off any longer than 6 months. I'm just wary of a winter second wave, that's my main concern right now.

With all the restrictions lifting, for now at least, are pregnant women still being advised to self isolate? I am working from home and could continue to do so, so that's less of a concern for me. I too flip-flop between being so wary, this virus is so new and there will be a second winter wave, to OH FFS just get on with it!

I was meant to be starting TTC for number 1 right now, as we were meant to be getting married this month. Wedding has been postponed and both our jobs are looking iffy (I’m furloughed) so not a good time financially. We’re going to look to try after our new wedding date (this time next year). Totally gutted is an understatement, as I’m feeling incredibly broody and have been for a while. I’m only 28, but have a family history of gynae issues and infertility, plus I have PCOS so not predicting an easy ride - plus a number of people I know have just announced pregnancies. Feels like salt in the wound I actually cried today at the latest pregnancy announcement.. (pathetic I know!).

I'm concerned about a second wave too, and I have not been long in my job (which is currently a wfh job but I don't know how long that will continue to be the case). I'm so new I feel like it'd be a bit cheeky to say, I'm not coming into the office, I'm pregnant! I actually don't totally understand what the guidance is for pregnant women if I'm honest. I know that pregnant women with underlying health conditions will be in a high risk group but whether or not otherwise-healthy pregnant women are? It's nice to share these thoughts with other people, I don't have anyone irl to talk to about it (or maybe I'm just scared they'll tell me not to so I don't ask...!) x

@JoeExoticsTiger

I was meant to be starting TTC for number 1 right now, as we were meant to be getting married this month. Wedding has been postponed and both our jobs are looking iffy (I’m furloughed) so not a good time financially. We’re going to look to try after our new wedding date (this time next year). Totally gutted is an understatement, as I’m feeling incredibly broody and have been for a while. I’m only 28, but have a family history of gynae issues and infertility, plus I have PCOS so not predicting an easy ride - plus a number of people I know have just announced pregnancies. Feels like salt in the wound I actually cried today at the latest pregnancy announcement.. (pathetic I know!).

Don't feel bad for crying! Three of my friends are had babies within weeks of each other in April and May and I'm finding it very difficult to deal with! Jealousy and disappointment are difficult emotions to cope with. Just have to hold on to the belief that our time will come too! X

@JoeExoticsTiger not pathetic at all! I feel like I'm seeing pregnant women everywhere. Have had to 'snooze' a few people on social media because I was getting a bit upset. If I see an announcement I just send very genuine warm wishes and then hide them for my own mental wellbeing! X

@Greyhoundgirly I know what you mean. I've been in my job for aaaaaaaaaages so I wouldn't feel too bad about it ;)

But the guidance is SO unclear. And I wouldn't want to add stress to a pregnancy - like if rates of covid increased but lockdown took a while longer to kick in, and I had to go to work and was stressing.

I would try now, and am. You never know what's around the corner. Or how long it will take. It took me over 18months to conceive my first.

@newphoneswhodis very true. All the best to you x

We started this month. Originally our plan was to start in April but my doctors stopped doing coil removals when lockdown started and only started doing them again at the beginning of June.

@Greyhoundgirly @Lagirl20 thank you for your kind words! It’s strange isn’t it, as I feel disappointed in myself for getting upset/jealous, and I’m also very happy for the people involved. Totally weird emotions! But I think it’s just been a tough year so far and I feel like everyone else is getting on with life and ours is on hold for the foreseeable...

I think maybe what we could do is ‘prepare’ to TTC, eg. Track cycles, eat healthily, exercise more, save a pot of money for future mat leave, take multi vitamins etc... at least then it will be a bit more positive.

We decided to carry on as planned. I am 12 weeks today! We're both on the older side so didn't want to wait.

@Sailor2009 good luck to you in your ttc journey. Also, I feel a bit more optimistic hearing that they've started removing coils... Feels like a green light?!

@JoeExoticsTiger sounds like a good plan, build a little money pot and look forward to your lovely wedding next year! Totally understand the mixed emotions, it's entirely possible to be 100% happy for a friends baby news whilst also feeling a pang of envy (or at least I think it's normal!!)

@Sanch1 many many congrats to you, enjoy!! Xx

I am in a very similar boat to you - we were originally planning to start trying in April but when this all kicked off we considered hanging fire. Now we are further down the line, we're going to start trying - yes, there are potential risks from a second wave but I think we are now in a better position when it comes to knowing how to handle it, and I feel quite confident that my company would let me work from home indefinitely if that became necessary.

Ultimately we have no idea when this whole COVID situation will be over (or if it ever really will!) and also no idea how long it will take to conceive - I'm not prepared to put my life on hold indefinitely. I have just this afternoon managed to get an appointment to get my nexplanon implant out, so as of next week so not long until we can get started!

I found out I was pregnant the day after lockdown started, the guidance to me is pretty clear. At the moment pregnant people up to 28 weeks are classed as vulnerable, but all that means is that you have to follow social distancing/handwashing etc. - so exactly the same as everyone else has to! You dont have to isolate or shield, unless there are other health conditions.
After 28 weeks you need to be more careful, but again no need to shield.

Mumsnet has a link to the latest rcog and midwife advice.

It's not an ideal time to be pregnant but it could be worse. This is going to be around for awhile I think, and if I hadn't fallen pregnant I wouldve carried on ttc.

The likely risks to mum and baby are not high (again, unless you have other health conditions), they are just being careful. Most pregnant women who get it will get a mild version, in the same way most of the rest of the public will.

@Greyhoundgirly thank you so much. The nurse who removed mine said they had been given updated guidelines at the end of May and that TTC was accepted as a reason for removal. It's possible they were just sick of me calling every week to ask though.

I've been off contraception since January 2019, I was just about getting to be referred for further tests when covid happened (though in January I got a new job and we were holding off on the appointment at least until I would get SMP from my new job in March... Then, well, you know). We've been trying every month but at the moment it's not been very promising.

I'm the main earner in a secure job but we have a comfortable savings bubble, we're already struggling and we're in our 30s so there was no way we were going to stop TTC, just not with the additional help we thought we were going to get. If by September (full mat benefits) we still don't have progress we'll push with the doctors again, irrespective of what's happening with covid.

We paused TTC in March and April, but started again in May. I'm now 8 weeks. I'm approaching 40 though so it was now or never really. I'm glad it's not my first baby though as antenatal care is quite disrupted in my area. Not really looking forward to going to a scan alone, especially at my age with the higher risks.

It's a difficult decision and I understand your uncertainty.

We started TTC when I had just turned 34. I was fit and healthy and had perfect 28 day cycles so I thought we wouldn't have any problems even though I was in my 30s. It took us 2 and a half years to conceive.

I think if it was me I'd still go ahead as planned. It's not possible to know what will happen but as far as I know pregnant women still got all the usual maternity services, even at the virus peak, but obviously delivered in a different way.

@queenatom sounds like you have a decent employer and a good work set up, hope all goes well for you ttc. I agree, how long can lives be put on pause...??
@Whiffle77 many congrats! But what a time to find out, must have been a bit scary initially!! Thanks for clarifying the guidelines, I suspected (hoped) this would be the case, but I suppose I've become a bit apprehensive as to what the recent loosening of guidelines might mean!
@Sailor2009 haha love the persistence!! Good to hear they seem to be giving conception the nod!
@PlanBea sorry to hear you've not had an easy ttc journey so far. Its really heartening to hear you're continuing, wishing you all the best with it x
@mongoosebaby congrats on your happy news. I understand your reservations about scans etc. I know it's not exactly the same but would you look into a private scan so you and partner can 'meet' baby together? Xx

We were but have decided to throw caution to the wind. There will always be a reason to delay, but I'm 33 with a myriad of health complications so... next month definitely, undecided on whether to try this month. I need to decide quick as I ovulate on Sunday

I found out I was pregnant just before lockdown. It's my 2nd so I am able to compare care to pre covid times. Initially it was very surreal and staff were adjusting however now it's just the 'norm'. Aside from having my booking and 16 week over the phone I've had everything as before. More so, as I had to have extra bloods done.

All my future appointments will be face to face and that's when it really counts. 8 week appt is pretty much a chat about yours and your partners medical history. Only thing I didn't get from 16 week was hearing the heartbeat on a doppler but that has always been dependent on the trust so not guaranteed everywhere if face to face.

You still get all necessary bloods taken, you can still book in for immunsations and if you need extra like the glucose test you'll still have it.

In terms of isolating, there's no need. Just be mindful of distancing and really that's particularly pertinent after 28 weeks. You can carry on as the rest of the general public before then.