Advice please

[eastview]

Sorry I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this as I couldn't find the right option but I'm struggling. Had a very traumatic MC last year which broke me. We were trying for a baby but I split up with my partner a few months after my MC as I was getting no support. I have a new partner (been together for 9 months) and I can't shake the feeling that I need to have a baby. He has no idea that I feel this way but I'm finding it hard to fight the feeling that I have. I am not on any contraception as I have health issues that prevent me being able to have most forms and for a long time after my MC I wasn't having periods. I've now been having regular periods for over 6 months and ovulating the same time every month (I test and we avoid DTD during this time) but I am in complete control of this and lately I'm struggling to fight the urge to get pregnant. I was wondering if anyone had any advice as I'm not sure how to stop myself feeling this way. My partner is amazing and would make a fantastic father but I know it's not the right time for us at the moment, I still cant help feeling this way. Thanks in advance :)

Hi OP, I was in a similar situation to this when I was first with my husband. I had a MC at 7 weeks and the stress eventually broke up my relationship at the time, I then met my now husband and after about 6 months I started really wanting to get pregnant and could have easily gotten pregnant 'accidentally'

Luckily I didn't and looking back now its clear to me that it would have been a huge mistake, especially as I had given him no indication that I was even wanting a baby at that stage and it was still such a young relationship.

I think it would have really taken away from the relationship that I have with my husband now and the relationship he has with our 4 year old. TTC was quite a nice time in our lives and I'm glad I got to share that with him, which I wouldn't have if I had 'accidentally' gotten pregnant. Plus even if he had never found out I know I would have struggled to forgive myself for breaking his trust.

If im honest I think that the reason I felt that way was that I hadn't fully processed the MC, not saying thats the case for you but it was a big part of it for me. I started feeling better when I talked to someone about how it had all affected me and started making positive choices for myself and my future (my relationship with my Ex wasn't great, even when we were TTC).

It sounds like your partner is loving and supportive, have you spoken to him about how you feel?

Thanks for your message @Csari ❤️ I'm so sorry to hear you've been through the same. that's really what I needed to be here to be honest. I definitely haven't processed my MC and was supposed to have CBT for PTSD last year but was too fragile to cope with it to be honest, but I did ask to be referred today (I get this through work so shouldn't take long). Always been quite a strong person so I've tried to push it to the back of my mind but it definitely doesn't work. My partner is absolutely amazing, so supportive and would help me with anything at all, even though the baby wasn't his he encourages me to talk about it but I don't feel like I can because he will never really understand and I won't want to burden him as it's not his problem. I definitely don't want to break his trust and that's exactly why I want to stop feeling like this as when the time did come I know he would be great and I also couldn't live with the guilt. It's just so hard to stop thinking about it its a strange feeling! X

@eastview sorry for your loss I had a MC in March and totally empathise with the need to try again. Have you tried talking to your OH about trying for a baby? Maybe it is the right time for you both, you've said that he is amazing and supportive so I'm sure he will be open to a conversation ❤️