TTC in my late 30s... need reassurance! Anyone else?

[CC81]

Hi all. I'd be really grateful to hear from anyone who's managed to conceive in their late 30s, despite a few concerns - and also those in the same situation as me, with similar worries!

I'm 38 and we've been TTC for nearly 6 months. I know this isn't long, but I'm worried about my fertility for various reasons (see below!) - and can't help feeling scared that time is running out for me :/

So I'm wondering if there are things I should be looking out for. Or alternatively, if I'm reading too much into things!

Main concerns:

Spotting for several days before my period in recent months, which is confusing (mid-cycle bleeding can mean all sorts of things - but of course I worry it's the bad stuff, like early menopause).

My age and what this means for my eggs etc. - and how I find out.

I had a c-section in 2017 (first child) and although I healed well, I'm worried that there might be internal complications from that - scar tissue etc?

Stress levels in recent months/years (trying to work on this).

Positives:

Tests have indicated that I do ovulate - I had progesterone tested by the GP last year and they said it was 'consistent with ovulation'; and I did an OPK test last month, which showed an LH surge.

My periods are now reasonably regular, despite irregularities last year after I stopped breastfeeding.

At age 35, three years ago, I got pregnant almost immediately with my daughter and was very fortunate to have a healthy pregnancy.

I think the latter is partly why I'm freaking out this time, as I'm inexperienced with the ins-and-outs of TTC. I see people talking about things like body temperature and it's all a mystery to me - I don't know where to start.

Has anyone had similar worries and yet conceived? Or are you in the same boat as me?

Hi,
I’m not yet pregnant, but I’m 37, 38 in a few months and ttc number 4.
I last had a baby 5 years ago.
All 3 of my children were born by c section so if I get pregnant it would mean a fourth c section.
I worry mainly about my age and the fact my eggs will no longer be of a good quality but I’ve just ordered some ubiquinol capsules to start taking next cycle.
We’ve been trying since September 2019, and I did get a bfp in November but sadly miscarried in January at 9 weeks, then I had a chemical pregnancy in March of this year, so it’s reassuring to know I can seem to get pregnant, but holding onto it seems to be a problem which could be to do with the eggs being old.

My previous pregnancies were all conceived within 3 cycles so to now be on my 9th cycle trying shows that age is a factor.

I worry about perimenopause as my periods have become lighter since my miscarriage.

I think when doctors and hospitals are functioning more normally I may make an appointment for some basic blood tests to be done just to see if it can shed any light on anything.

Also I don’t take my temp or anything like that. I just use opk’s and start testing from around cd10, once I get a positive (around cd14/15 I carry on testing for a few days to see it go lighter again.

I forgot to add that my children are from a previous relationship, so this is my first time trying with my partner now. He has no children but is much younger than I am lol.

Thanks for your reply

What's ubiquinol? First time I've heard of it!

I’d not heard of it until joining mn and reading about it.

I’ll post a link to the one I’ve bought. But it’s something that your body produces less of as you get older, but is important for quality of eggs etc, that’s the general gist, it’s just generally a really good thing to be taking regardless, but even more so if you’re over 35.

www.naturesbest.co.uk/co-q10/co-q10/ubiquinol-100mg/

[quote Moominmiss]I’d not heard of it until joining mn and reading about it.

I’ll post a link to the one I’ve bought. But it’s something that your body produces less of as you get older, but is important for quality of eggs etc, that’s the general gist, it’s just generally a really good thing to be taking regardless, but even more so if you’re over 35.

www.naturesbest.co.uk/co-q10/co-q10/ubiquinol-100mg/[/quote]
Thanks - that's really helpful. x

Oh my goodness you could be me! 37 had my last baby by c section in 2017. 3 cycles in (this is third) and seem to have short LP.

All the same worries. Spoke to doctor last month about LP and she said but you ovulate 14 days before period and I kept saying ‘yes But I’m not’ And then she says but that is what happens so you must be ovulating earlier - but I’m not! She did say come back to her in 2 months and if I wang some tests she’ll do them but she thinks I will be pregnant by then!!!

Have taken b6 this month to try to lengthen and am on ubiquinol as well as pregnacare! Also tempted this month so if I’m not pregnant I can hand her solid proof!

She did say that being so regular and having EWCM and very fertile symptom going was a good thing. I’m not over weight and eat healthily, don’t drink and have cut caffeine. So in theory I should be all good to go. Last baby conceived first month so I think this was always going to be trickier and ness with my head. 3 cycles is not long and I probably need to calm down!

@Exciteablemuch - Yes, you are basically me!

It's actually very reassuring to hear from someone in the same headspace... especially with what your GP has said.

I think I also may have a wonky schedule for ovulation etc. I use the 'Clue' app, which is very handy for keeping track - but my LH surge appeared about 2-3 days after I expected it! It was the only time I've ever used an OPK properly, so I thought it wouldn't happen at all. My EWCM phase has seemed quite short (despite being longer pre-TTC, which is typical).

We've only watched dates closely for three of our six months trying, so like you, I know I'm probably freaking out unnecessarily... but because of my age I'm really worried that everything is declining.

So I'm constantly wondering if I should try to 'save it with science' by getting a private fertility assessment/treatment. But I know that's hugely OTT at present. For example, the NHS expects anyone under 40 to have tried for 2 years before offering IVF! Which should tell us something, really.

We should keep in touch!

I had my first at 35. Like you it happened immediately which took me by surprise. I started ttc with DC2 at 37. It took over 6 months (maybe 8 months) and I had a very early miscarriage before a successful pregnancy (in terms of the miscarriage I literally took a test the day my period was due, it was positive and then I started bleeding the same day). So in my experience I feel it does take longer in your late 30s although it all worked out and I'm sitting next to DS 7 right now. Don't lose hope. I'm sure it will happen. It just takes longer.

Totally with you I just can only visualise not being able to get pregnant and not having a second and nothing else! Which I’m pretty sure doesn’t help anything

Crazy what hormones and wanting something do to you! I had no worries when I conceived in 2017. Hadn’t even considered it not happening!!! And I wasn’t that much younger .

Last month I had way fewer symptom spotting and am trying to convince myself it won’t happen in order to not get crazy in 2ww. Had positive opks yesterday and today and have bd last 3 nights. Will have night off tonight - much to hubby’s relief- and then possibly try to get one in tomorrow morning. I went too early this month as I was trying to listen to EWCM not just opk. I had concerns around the opk being too late!

I do wish I could think about something else. Being back at work has helped a bit (I’m a deputy head) being busy!

@SallyWD - Thank you, it's reassuring to hear that. Yes, I was SO surprised the first time around. Being 35, I thought it would take AGES... but no. I didn't feel ready! Now it's all the other way around.

@Excitablemuch - Yeah, we 'launched too early' for the most recent cycle... not sure there was much useful stuff left by the time my actual ovulation occurred (according to OPK test). Haha! The SMEP schedule seems a sensible one.

@Moominmiss - Sorry my replies to you were so short! I was in the garden with my toddler. Really sorry to hear about the troubles you've had. It sounds like a good idea to get some tests done. You may well be the same as me and @Excitablemuch - i.e. technically things are working, but it's just not lining up.

Like you, my biggest worries in this situation are poor egg quality and perimenopause. Also blockages of some kind. I'm not sure how we find out about these things... probably a private assessment.

@Excitablemuch - How are you doing?

My period is late (on day 30, when usually it arrives around day 26) - but I had a negative pregnancy test on day 28.

Plus, I just really don't think this month was a good one... I was really stressed around ovulation time. Aaaagh.

I had my daughter at 26, she's 13 next month. I got caught on the pill, took a course of antibiotics that made me really sick for a few days, as a result i ovulated. My baby boy was born by c-section in July 19, he'll be 1 this month and I was 38 when I had him (39 now obviously). However, the journey to him was not a good one. I had 2 MC's and 2 chemicals and altogether took 18 months. Don't ever give up hope though, if you're over 35, the gp can do quite a bit of testing if you have no other children, if you do have other children the they can do a handful of tests but that's it.

Be strong lovely, you will get there. Xxx

Just to make that clearer...i do have 2 kids, my daughter is nearly 13 and my son is 1 this month, lol! It's shame you can't edit these posts!

@CurlyEmz - Thanks for your reply. Glad to hear it all came right in the end :)

I have one child (conceived at age 35, in 2017). I'd be interested to know what tests they would do... I've already had one for progesterone (last summer), which came back "consistent with ovulation"). Usually I have all the signs you'd expect.

But this month is weird... it's either a long cycle or missed period. Typical when we're TTC, after a year of pretty regular cycles!

hi! I have no reassurance, but definitely have the same worries - as the name might suggest. argh, just hope we haven't left it too late. would probably only count this as first cycle as realistically think we missed the fertie window last cycle when made decision to TTC. same as u tho, well ive usually got regular cycles, but when used OPKs this month i didn't a positive til CD20 - so (cos i know nothing!) i've been told that means AF will be later this month - and was predicted in next couple of days if cycle was normal length. i know i cant get stressed as early days but as sonn as u get something in your head, u want it to happen!!!
good luck anyway to you - hopefully this will just be long cycle for u! x

@CC81 hey there! I’m good- I think!! I’m 6dpo and feel pretty normal - same as last month and month before but can’t work out if that is good or bad!!! Vitb6 took LP to 12 days last month which is good news I’ve upped mY does after ovulation this month see what happens. I temped until ovulation only and was intending to not even know how many days post ov I was but that hasn’t quite worked! Strange you’re having a weird cycle.... maybe test again?!

@CurlyEmz thank you for that... I think I could be positive if someone could wave a magic wand and say it will happen you just have to wait. I mean, I am sure it will - statistics and all that!
Hi @leftitlate37 welcome! I think it’s really comforting to know other people are feeling this way and worrying - it’s all very normal!

Fingers crossed for all of us!!!

@CC81 hey, just wanted to pop back in and let you know that I’m on cycle 9 of ttc and have had 1 mc and 2 chemicals now within the last 6 cycles. I have just had my referral through Through with the fertility specialist. Not that falling pregnant seems to be the issue but keeping it does.

You said you wondered what tests they might offer so I thought I’d let you know what I have to have to start off with

Within the first 5 days of my cycle I will have blood tests for FSH, LH, Testosterone, Prolactin, and Thyroxine.

Then on cd21 or the equivalent (7 days before af is due) I will have the test for progesterone.

Oh has also been given an appointment for a semen analysis.

Hope that helps.

X

@Moominmiss - Thanks for your reply. Is that an NHS referral? Those are the tests I had last year (via GP), which came back normal... but my body may have changed since.

I've freaked out a bit this month, because of the sudden long cycle. I hate not knowing what's happening.

I've booked a phone appointment with the GP next week, so will see what they say. Probably a repeat of tests... but as they're all time-dependent, I imagine they can't be done until my period appears.

I'm wondering whether to look into a private fertility 'MOT'. It costs about £300-£400 and might be worth it to get some answers.

But maybe I should be patient and see if my cycle normalises first. ???????????

@Moominmiss (I posted this first but it didn't appear:) Really sorry to hear about your recent experiences - it must be so stressful. Hope you get some good news from the tests.

@Excitablemuch - I may have an answer to the weird timings! I didn't know previously that it's possible to have more than one LH surge in a month. Maybe you've missed one of yours and that's why the period timings haven't lined up sometimes?

This is what I think happened to me, during the last cycle (it's really freaked me out, over the last week):

Day 14: LH surge (positive OPK), bang on schedule.
Day 14: Also a really stressful work event, which affected me all week.

Day 15: I assumed I ovulated - but I now think it didn't happen, due to the afore-mentioned stress.

Day 25 (possibly also days either side): Random EWCM - I didn't test, but if I had, may well have seen a second LH surge. I now reckon this was when I actually ovulated (my body having a 'second go').

Day 26: When my period would usually start (ish).

Day 35: Spotting and general AF symptoms - so when it appears properly, it's likely to be about 2 weeks after that random EWCM, which would make sense for the ovulation/period relationship.

Unfortunately, by day 25 we'd stopped DTD! So next month we'll probably carry on with every other day...

@CC81
How strange! Well done for figuring that out!

I am 11dpo today and temp dropped a bit this morning. Weirdly had really strong AF symptoms earlier this week and then they went away - back today though :( so I think I’m out again - bleurgh!

Feeling pretty down but I need to be calm and sensible and patient! Next month I am not charting or OPKing I will simply DTD EOD the whole month through. I have ovulated same day every month for last 3 so I know when it’s go time anyway!

The if bfp next cycle I will call the docs when back from holiday and take her up on the offer of tests. Reassurance might be key I guess.

Now if I could just get DH to take some vits.... he’s so anti anything medical!!!

@Excitablemuch - Yeah, good plan!

I think after a couple of months of monitoring everything, like you, I will opt for a more relaxed approach and simply DTD every other day. That's how it worked for us the first time. I knew NOTHING!

First, I just want to have a couple of months where I track things and understand them a bit more clearly (as I've only really done OPKs twice before and have literally only just started temping) - simply to reassure myself that things are working as they should.

Or alternatively, if that doesn't go anywhere, I'll know it's time to seek medical help... (hopefully not).

Good luck with the next round!

@CC81 so yeah, I spoke to my own gp after my third loss and she referred me to a fertility consultant at the local hospital. I then received my referral letter with details of the tests they wanted done. It only took about 2 weeks for the referral to come through. And I’ve just had the first set of blood tests done on Monday. My oh is booked in for his semen analysis in a couple of weeks, and then I have to have my 21 day bloods and then we’ll be called for an appointment to discuss the results. Kind of nerve wracking waiting, as I’m pretty sure they will find plenty wrong with me.

I’ll be interested to see if it indicates I’m entering into perimenopause as my periods have definitely changed. The af I’ve just had lasted only 3 days, although it was heavier the first 2 days than it had been previously. So no idea if that’s good or bad.

I’m super impatient and I’d already been looking into private fertility testing before I even spoke to my gp, so if I was you I’d have probably already booked in privately 🙈 but realistically it’s probably not a bad idea to just contact your gp and see if they can can arrange for you to just get repeat bloods done.

With me because I wasn’t entirely convinced of the reliability of my af arriving at the right time, my gp gave me forms that she’d completed requesting all the blood tests that the fertility consultant was wanting, then gave me the forms so that I wouldn’t have to book an appointment when my af arrived, as waiting until my af actually arrived might have meant I then couldn’t get an appointment booked in at the right time, but having the forms then meant I could just take those and go to phlebotomy walk in clinic at the hospital and just have the blood tests done there and then.

So maybe your gp could do something similar for you? So you can have request forms ready to take to get your bloods done as soon as your af appears.

I have another request form ready for my 21 day bloods as I don’t know when I’ll ovulate, so don’t know when 7 days before my af will be. So I’ll do ovulation tests until I get my positive, then assume the next day is ovulation. Then I know my lp is 13 days long so will go for my bloods 6 days after ovulation which will be 7 days before af.

Good luck with it all. It’s a good sign that your tests last year indication no issues though. Like I know things can change, but it was only a year ago, not several so fingers crossed it’ll all still be good.

@Moominmiss - I totally understand your worries about perimenopause, as I've panicked about the same thing.

However, as an observer - reading everything you've been though - it seems to me that you've really been through the wringer recently, so the stress and constant changes seem a likely cause for changes in your periods (rather than perimenopause). Fingers crossed.

I've tried to look at my own situation more objectively, in recent days. My periods have been reasonably regular over the last year, with a normal length (4-5 days) and 'normal' level of bleeding.

My latest cycle has been weird - but I had a particularly stressful month, so that makes sense. It may have happened in the past and I just never noticed, as I never tracked anything before the last year! We've TTC for about 6 months and think we got the timing wrong on at least one of those cycles.

So, from a doctor's point of view, I'm probably not abnormal and they therefore wouldn't consider referring me just yet. I've got a GP appointment (phone) booked next week, so will probably ask about having the standard tests done again.

But if we have a couple more months of nothing - or anything else seems weird - we'll almost certainly go for a private fertility MOT (just for speed).

The waiting is AWFUL and I really struggle with that sort of thing, so I sympathise. Good luck with the next steps and please do pop back to update us. xxx