1 year plus TTC (over 35)

[SomeBunnyovertheRainbow]

Trying for #2 for over a year after losing baby #1

Found out I was pregnant a second time, then had a MC and have been trying about 9 months since then.

Friends seem to be getting pregnant within a few months of trying and I’m worried it’s not happening for us.

Overall been trying about 2.5 years however pregnancy #1 was successful, it was just very unfortunate that the baby died.

Please tell me your success stories to keep me going.

Or join me for a natter if you are in the same boat

Hello!
Sorry for your loss.

We’ve been trying for 21 months and in that time I’ve had 26 cycles as my periods are roughly 25 days apart.

Had blood tests and dr said all ok. Hubby’s came back normal. I’m going to be 36 very soon and to be honest even though we’re still “trying” we’ve both written off the idea of having a baby. Pessimistic I know- but we just think it probably would have happened by now.

Sorry if I’ve depressed you.

Have you had any tests?

Hi @Phoneshea

Thank you

I’ve just turned 36 so we are a similar age. I’m sorry you’ve been trying for a while too.

I approached my GP about it this week for the first time because I fell pregnant easily the first time and on the fourth cycle the second time, which is quick enough, but it has been 9 cycles since the MC.

I’m going in for blood tests tomorrow.

I have heard of people trying for a year or two and then having a baby so I know it can happen but it’s so disheartening the more months that pass by.

Do you track with OPKs or temp?

I haven’t used OPKs for a while so might try that again this cycle.

No I don’t use OPK or track - I just personally feel it’s too much stress but do understand why people use them.

I do use the Ovia app to log periods and when we DTD, so I have a rough ideas of my fertile days.

As hubby and I tend to just have sex when we feel like it, there are some months when it hasn’t quite lined up with the most fertile day!

It’s good you’re going for blood tests, hopefully that will give a clearer picture.

Same - I use Ovia too so know roughly when I’m in FW.

I’ve found that just dtd when we feel like it has been better and we’ve actually done it more during fertile week as otherwise there is pressure on both of us but I just feel like I need to do something different to see if it helps.

I know what you mean, sometimes I look at the Ovia app and think ought to do it later but really not in the mood so we don’t ! We never force it as I don’t want to kill our sex life! Which is why it doesn’t always line up with FW.

Some people on here take supplements, I’m not sure if that’s something you could look into.

It’s hard isn’t it when people announce they’re pregnant. Fortunately I don’t get upset, it’s more of an eye roll, “of course they’re pregnant, they only missed one pill” or “we haven’t been trying long” blah blah.

Sorry for your loss.
Guidelines state that if your over 35 and you have been ttc for over 6 months to seek advice from GP re fertility referral so you have done the right thing contacting them and hope they can organise bloods etc soon.
It took us 2.5 years to conceive our daughter. We did have a failed round of IVF and in between cycles we conceived naturally.

I agree with you re tracking and ttc as you don't want the pressure as after a while it could kill your Sex life. I used to be able to tell when I ovulated as I get a pain from whichever ovary is releasing the egg and I did do an opks to check if it was positive at first.
Fertility consultant said as long as your dtd about 3 times per week it's more than enough.
We didn't really do anything different on the cycle we conceived and when people tell you to relax and it will happen are talking poop as it was the most stressful month ever thinking about our up and coming IVF cycle.

My advice is keep a health weight, take pre natal vitamins, you and your OH look after each other xxx take care and sending baby dust your way xxx

@Phoneshea The pregnancy announcements are hard especially as it seems line everyone I met who lost a baby when we did has already had another child by now. I’m happy for them but stressed for us.

I take high dose folic acid and vitamin D. The GP said I don’t need to take anything else but I know people take all sorts. When I got pregnant with my first i was went even taking folic acid! It’s hard to try to do the right thing without it taking over your life.

@StoneSourFan Thank you xx

It’s nice you conceived naturally. I’ve herd of people conceiving while waiting for IVF and that sort of thing. I suppose you might have been stressed about the IVF but you were probably not dtd purely to make a baby and I think that helps.

I am having bloods tomorrow so we’ll see if that tells us anything.

We eat well enough and keep active but the only issue is DH smokes and I am hoping he will stop.

xx

Hi there ladies.

I'm sorry for what you have been through.

I am Almost 36 and been trying for 2 years. Tests say I have low reserve but just about within normal limits. It has taken so long to get anywhere.

I have long ditched OPKs. I am just going with the flow excuse the pun! Also I have taken all combinations of supplements over the past two years and it has made no difference so I think for many it might just be coincidence and they would have got pregnant that month anyway?? So now just take folic acid and vitamin D on the advice of the clinicians I saw for results recently.

@Flittingabout

I just take folic acid and vitamin D too. I did look at some others but really wasn’t sure and didn’t want to mess up my cycle so I left it, plus they were very expensive! And like you say, was it just coincidence they fell pregnant the month they started taking them?!

@StoneSourFan and @Flittingabout
@SomeBunnyovertheRainbow

I thought I was the only one who had been trying for so long, I never hear people say they’ve been trying for 2 years plus 🙄

I have 2 children 14 & 10. I'm now 35 & have been having unprotected sex for a year & it's not happened. It did take me 2years to conceive my now 10yr old & I was 24 then🙉 so I'm slowly losing hope & feel my age is now against me. Feel like the clock is ticking if I'm honest. & my mum went through the menopause at 40 so I just hope I don't follow suit😣

@Flittingabout Yeah I’ve read of people taking all sorts but so many people get pregnant all the time on nothing (I wasn’t even taking FA with my first) so I don’t think it’s necessary, personally. I do get being willing to try anything and that’s not to say I won’t try something if I read that I might work...

The only reason I feel like OPKing his month is I haven’t done I for ages (maybe not at all this year) and it’s almost a comfort thing to see if my peak is when I think it is...

@Phoneshea It’s nice to connect with people in a similar position

@Chlo2701 Yes I think she is age is on all of our minds unfortunately

Just saw I wrote “herd” instead of “heard”

Sorry I didn't mean to imply you shouldn't be tracking. I just found it so expensive but moreover disheartening to be tracking and timing it all perfectly and still getting nowhere.

Weirdly this month I seem to have just had a 2 day period. I am not sure what it means as looking back the number of days I bleed is getting shorter and shorter but it is very heavy whilst I am on. Sorry that is a bit gross!

Do you ladies have a timescale in mind for making any changes or decisions?

We’re just going to carry on as we have. If it happens then great, if it doesn’t then well that’s that! Fortunately we’re quite philosophical about it.

I don’t want to do IVF or adoption as I don’t feel they are for us, but totally understand why others go down those routes.

My periods only last 24 hours, which I did mention to the doctor and he said that was ok, but I’m a bit dubious to be honest! As i wondered whether my lining would be thick enough with such a small amount of bleeding but other people have said they’ve gotten pregnant with light periods so... I don’t really know!

How about everyone else?

@Flittingabout No I didn’t take it that way. I agree with you. I found tracking could be stressful because it means you have to be v aware of your cycle, remember to test daily and then I found I got stressed if I felt we weren’t dtd enough around ov and also I used Clearblue Connect which is £30-40 a pack I think!

I don’t think I’ve tracked at all since before Christmas so thought I’d give it a go.

My period has been weird this time too. Had four days of spotting, instead of usual 2, and period is v light since CD1. PMT stated much later too.

I had blood test today and so will see what GP says.

@Phonesea I spoke to GP on Monday about my periods partly due to weird cycle and partly as I’d read things about spotting. I told her my AF is a lot lighter than it was 5 years ago and I tend to get a couple of days of spotting and then a 2-3 day bleed but only one day is medium-heavy. The rest is light. She said our cycles change in our 20s, 30s, 40s and she said it sounded normal.

Regarding IVF, I would consider it as I really want a family but I really don’t know much about it at all. GP mentioned it and let me know that I wouldn’t be eligible as my DH has children from previous relationship (my SDC) which I thought was quite unfair but hopefully it won’t come to that and I didn’t necessarily expect to be eligible anyway.

We would also consider adoption as we’d love to give a home to a child without a family (even if we have our own) but know it is not as straightforward as that as there is so much involved and right now I want to try to have a baby naturally.

I don’t completely buy into the “relax and it will happen” as people get pregnant in all sorts of circumstances but I am going to work on keeping happy and stress free going forwards

I can get quite stressed out with work, TTC and general stuff (I worry a lot) so I’m going to work on eating well, exercising and keeping stress levels low

... need to work on not getting wound up by DH too!!

Same here really with regards to seeing how the future goes.

I found it hard listening to people telling me that I need to relax because it is often well meaning people who had a baby after three cycles and fell pregnant when they had forgotten to try etc!

I also don't know how much to talk about it with my partner in terms of just keeping going and hoping.

We have lived together on and off due to work for the last few years and I think it might be a factor in terms of how many cycles we were having sex anywhere close to enough!

I wonder if shorter periods are an age thing? Mine are definitely short. Usually only 2 days proper bleeding. I suffer with spotting in my LP too. I'm 37. Not been trying as long as you but I am beginning to think it won't happen. I wil go to the dr when I can get an appointment. I dus have day 2 blood tests done last year though and a scan and nothing showed.

@Flittingabout Exactly. It’s easy to just relax in the first few months if you’re just seeing what happens but v different if you’re doing all you can for 6 months, 12 months or more...

Hi @paintfairy I assumed that’s what my GP meant when she said periods are different in 20s, 30s, 40s etc but she didn’t think it was anything to worry about

Hi- if you'd like to come and join this thread we're a chatty supportive bunch! Best wishes and baby dust. ☺️

Over 35+, TTC , join here.😊😊 www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/3910774-Over-35-TTC-join-here

@musiceverywhere I’m not sure I want to join another TTC thread atm as I’m a member of a lovely TTC after loss thread but thank you 😊