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Conception

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What would you do? All opinions welcome!

5 replies

Lucie91 · 19/05/2020 10:56

A bit of background info: I’m 28, H2B is 31, been together 6 years and we were due to get married in June but have had to postpone our wedding until September in view of Covid.

I’ve always wanted children but have been particularly broody over the last 2 years. H2B also wants to start a family but not as broody as I am!
We were due to start TTC in March as, even if I’d got pregnant straight away, I’d be unlikely to have a bump by the wedding and so could keep it a secret until then.
Obviously with everything that’s been happening in the world, we took the view that our June wedding would probably not go ahead and so decided to postpone until September. With this, we also decided to postponed TTC until June.
Lockdown has lasted for much longer than I expected and so we’re now faced with the possibility of having to postpone our wedding until next year.

What would you do with regards to TTC? I don’t know whether to risk TTC next cycle, knowing that the wedding may have to be postponed, but I’m also fully aware that things could take a long time and we might regret not starting sooner! The thought of waiting until next year to TTC is devastating. We can only postpone our wedding up until June next year - after that we would lose a lot of the money we’ve already paid.
I personally wouldn’t want to be a heavily pregnant bride as my mum has bought my wedding dress and it would break both of our hearts if I couldn’t wear it! (I know that sounds trivial in the grand scheme of things)

I know I probably sound really pathetic but I’m just so torn as to what we should do and would really appreciate any advice or opinions!

OP posts:
carolebaskinsheadband · 19/05/2020 10:58

I would TTC now because the delay in the wedding has shown you that it doesn't mean you need to be married to be happy. A wedding can wait a bit longer.

MintGreenLife · 19/05/2020 11:10

We may have chatted before on another thread, but I have a very similar situation to you. Our wedding is early September, and at this point we are fairly certain it won't go ahead, so we've already decided to start TTC. We are hoping that we will be able to have our wedding around the same time next year, but in the meantime our plan is to start a family and have a small registry office wedding until we can do the 'big' wedding. It might help you to know that this has massively helped me with worrying about the wedding and feeling generally unsettled because everything is so up in the air. Now we have a new focus, and if I get pregnant soon and the wedding does go ahead then great, if not the way I look at it is we should still be married by the end of the year, and maybe pregnant, or if not well on our way to starting a family. I'm trying my best to just be chilled and just see how it all pans out. Easier said than done I know xx

Chanel05 · 19/05/2020 12:33

I would start ttc personally. I started ttc in June 2018 and I'm only 23 weeks pregnant. You might find yourself pregnant at your wedding or you might find it takes longer than you expected.

NoCallerID · 19/05/2020 13:09

I think it really depends on how desperate you are to wear your dress and what cut it is. Even though you might not have a full on bump, your boobs might grow and spill out. Your hips could start to widen etc.
Some people experience severe sickness throughout the first few months of their pregnancy, there's an awful lot of tiredness... If you're happy to risk this then go ahead and TTC. This isn't supposed to be patronising or anything but pregnancy isn't always a walk in the park.
We were in a different situation in 2017, we got married in September and I came off the pill in April. I kept myself 'busy' my temping and learning a lot about fertility and my own body. Once the wedding was over, we started TTC and all my knowledge (and a lot of luck) we fell pregnant straight away.
I'm sorry you've been put into this position, it must be hard not only having your wedding postponed but also facing the decision when to start trying. How does your partner feel about it?

Britannah · 19/05/2020 13:44

Why don’t you TTC now but set yourself a cut off point if you don’t fall pregnant by a certain date so you can still ensure you are married by June?

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