Just so sad

[Joboanna]

Hi everyone,

I'm new here but have been ttc for about 18 months and am just so fed up. I'm 36 years old (will be 37 in September) and have had a blood test for just about everything. I spoke to the doctor this morning and was told my BMI is too high (Obviously I knew this already. Does anyone ever need to be told they're too fat?) but that everything else seems ok.

I'm fed up with being told that it "just takes time". I'm fed up with taking my temperature at 6am every damn day. I'm fed up with seeing "being a mum" challenges on Facebook. I'm fed up with getting my period. I'm fed up with pretending to my DH that it's no big deal.

I guess I just need to talk to people that are in the same boat. Not really looking for advice, just empathy.
xx

I’m not in the same boat and I probably can’t help , but I didn’t want to read and run 💕💕

Just came to say that high BMI didn't stop me at 39.

Could it be the other half?

I am in the same boat and I just feel so so low! I completely get where you’re coming from and my heart and love goes out to you. I’m personally finding it very very difficult to stay positive which is what everyone keeps telling me to do and like you, I am fed up with it all.

I just wanted to let you know that you’re not alone. It’s crap, it’s upsetting, it’s just too much to deal with sometimes, but just know that you’re not alone xxx

Hi I'm really sorry you're going through this. What's your BMI if you don't mind me asking?

Please don't be so harsh on yourself, you'll stress yourself out even more. We were told we could never conceive because my husband sperm count was non existent. I've been pregnant twice. It was just stress affecting his sperm. Stress is not a good thing. The fact is we got pregnant when we forgot about it and hoped for it the least. Maybe because we weren't stressing all the time.

Forget about doing all those things Facebook, temperature etc and focus on yourself, being happy etc it will happen when you least expect it. Have hope. I had a miscarriage last month. I'm broken but I won't give up. Doctors aren't always right. Remember that.

Reminds me of my cousin who found it hard to conceive. She stopped thinking about it ( after 5 years) and one day she went to the doctors. They did a scan and were so shocked. There was a 5 month baby inside! She was shocked too. We asked her how she didn't know. She said she had her period every month... so didn't ever doubt anything. Just shows miracles do happen. Have faith!

Miracle stories are generally really unhelpful.

Op it’s a rubbish position to be in and I’d recommend coming over to the infertility board.

I’d try and use lockdown to focus on getting your weight down so you’d be in a better position for any treatment you might need. Did the gp talk about starting any tests to check if there’s something they can do to support you in getting pregnant? You’ve been trying long enough now to qualify for investigations.

its so hard. I’ve had to seriously limit my social media time because it’s all children and pregnant announcement at the moment.

Thanks @faithfulbird for your lovely words. My BMI is around 34 at the moment as I've put on a bit of weight recently. I've tried losing weight but, after yo-yoing so many times, it seems to be really hard to lose even a pound this time.

Thank you @AmesK as I just wanted to know I wasn't alone.

@drayco he has had a sperm test and it was normal so it seems like nothing's actually "wrong" with either of us, except for me being a fatty and him being a smoker.

OP - I feel I should direct you towards the thread on here entitled "fuck you TTC" - there are lots of us in a similar place. Good luck OP.

May I also suggest that you come over to the infertility board. There are lots of us over there that are going through very similar stories and generally just vent a lot about fertility and ttc.
It’s a really caring board with people in situations just like yours xx