Please help me approach my partner!

[LPXX]

So, I've been with my partner for a while now and we had the 'having a baby' conversation quite early on. I expressed my wish on having a baby and whilst he said he's open to it, he wasn't keen. Some background... His ex partner stopped taking birth control without his knowledge and as such she fell pregnant, he was only 22 and wasn't ready for a child and suggested a termination... Now the ins and out are quite intense and she left him after refusing the termination (her right!) but then she prevented him seeing the baby following birth and he had to go through a lengthy court process to see his daughter. So, as a result, he is very reluctant! I'm not planning on doing any of the above, obviously... BUT because of this im scared to mention the whole baby thing because he still to this day, 13 years later, has issues with his daughters mum. He is a great dad and longs for contact with his daughter, which he does have, but it's very minimal and I feel her mum has painted him in a bad light. I do take this information on as objectively as possible as it is his version of events. I also do take heed that he could have handled and done things differently RE birth control. Anyway, back to today, I just don't feel like it's something he really wants, or will ever want, not truly anyway. To me however, I am constantly consumed by baby thoughts...I don't know if this is normal but all I can think of is having a baby of my own, to the extent I have dreamt about having them and woke up exhausted because of it, the thought of having a baby consumes my mind constantly and I feel it's bothering me as I'm so scared to mention it. PLEASE, can someone help me address this and/or give me on ideas how to approach it appropriately? I 100% respect his feeling irrespective of what he says but I really want to tell him how I feel, without him running for the hills!
We're as ready as we will ever be I guess, in terms of home and finances.. we have a stable home and both in full time permanent employment! So that isn't the concern! Thank you ❤️

Hi, @LPXX

I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling with this. I think the thoughts you’re having are completely normal for someone who wants a child! I guess what you need to decide is whether or not this is a deal breaker for you. You need to sit down your OH and tell him exactly how you feel. Be open and honest. It could be, as I think you know, that he really doesn’t want anymore children at all. If he keeps putting it off, are you going to be happy to wait with the very strong possibility that he will never be ready? If you’re not, then you need to explain to him that for you, not having a baby is not an option. It’s a really, really tricky situation and I’m so sorry. You have a possibly very difficult decision to make, I really hope he is more open to having a baby than you think. All the best x