Last night I had a breakdown. Yet another month, yet another period. In March we had our first infertility clinic appointment and I should have been having further blood tests, an HSG, an internal ultrasound and a follow up appointment after all of this to try and figure out our next steps and what could be causing our, at present unexplained, infertility. This is all up in the air because of coronavirus. NHS resources are stretched and understandably all but "essential" appointments and tests are postponed. I feel selfish for getting frustrated but it's so hard not too when it's an "invisible" virus that is the cause and which is ruining so many lives. I'm frustrated we don't yet have a reason for not being able to get pregnant since we started trying in August 2018. Our initial tests done through our GP came back "normal", we are young (late 20s), both generally fit and healthy and time intercourse pretty spot on I believe. I'm using ovulation tests which seem to indicate I should be ovulating at textbook time and my periods are pretty much textbook!
The start of my period this month was painful. I couldn't stop crying last night. Everything is overwhelming and my head is all over the place. I wish it was easy to forget we were trying and to do what I said from the offset which was "just see what happens" - yeah, easier said than done!
We get married in 2022. We booked it well in advance to give us more time to try for a baby. In my head I jump to the worst case scenario of us having to have IVF which is not successful with NHS funding so we have to go to privately funding this which we wouldn't be able to afford as well as a wedding. Why can't I stop thinking of worst case scenario?
I just don't really know where my head is at and need to offload, sorry.
Sending lots of love to everyone trying x