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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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Original poster

Conception now?!

27 replies

Mama9 · 19/04/2020 12:33

Hi all,
I have a 1 year old and will be 40 this year. Before the pandemic we had planned to start trying for no.2 but now we have put a hold on it due to the seriousness of it all but now I'm wondering is that the best thing to do considering age? Anyone have any advice? Should we wait?

OP posts:

kell2126 · 19/04/2020 13:12

i'm the same age as you and am not waiting – still actively ttc

Original poster

Mama9 · 19/04/2020 13:31

Are you a bit worried? I really don't know what to do for the best!

OP posts:

LottieX · 19/04/2020 13:35

What are you worried about? The likelihood in 9 months time the world will look a very different place to how it currently does. You've only got a finite amount of time to try for a second one so my advice would be to keep trying!

AntiHop · 19/04/2020 13:38

I'm 42 and trying for number 2. No way am I waiting at my age. We already waited for a couple of years for financial and job reasons.

Original poster

Mama9 · 19/04/2020 14:15

The thinking is that it could take a year or more for things to even look nearly half normal, financially it could put a lot of us in a really bad place, we could lose our jobs, giving birth alone, less midwife care/health appointments, putting more strain on the NHS, contracting the disease etc etc. I might hild off a few more months and see. None of us know just how bad this could get or for how long.

OP posts:

Starlive23 · 19/04/2020 14:27

I'm in same boat OP, really stuck wondering what pregnancy would be like in the near future vs getting older and missing my chance. DH says its mad to consider TTC at the moment, but I'm trying to stay optimistic for the future.

LottieX · 19/04/2020 15:29

@mama9 Bit confused why you posted your original question if you already were going to put off TTC. With regards to your points:

We could lose our jobs - Could happen at any point even not in lockdown. Granted more likely now.
Giving birth alone - NHS in many trusts are allowing people one selected birthing partner who is free of symptoms
Less midwife care/health appointments - Potentially could highlight the number of non critical appointments, therefore resulting in costs saving measures for the NHS later down the line
Putting more strain on the NHS - Midwives/healthcare workers are still working or you could choose to have a private birth.
Contracting the disease - Isolate yourself for the rest of the lockdown period.

At the end of the day it is your choice, but as you know you've got a finite amount of time and not everyone is lucky enough to conceive first time. If you are that unsure maybe you should take the time to enjoy your first child and make lots of happy memories in this time without the worry of TTC :)

MrsP2015 · 19/04/2020 15:41

I'm in the same boat too.

Was waiting anyway which I had to because of job which has now gone so only 1 of us earning.

Jobs won't take me in pregnant and even if they did oh's still going to be the only one bringing g in money as I'd be on maternity leave. It's a financial mess Tbh.

I'm too scared to get pregnant as we couldn't cope financially but if I leave it longer I probably wouldn't conceive.

That's without all these Coronavirus issues.
Shit isn't it.

Original poster

Mama9 · 19/04/2020 16:19

@LottieX nothing to be confused about, i was unsure and I am still unsure. Many midwives are being deployed to help in covid wards. The less people being pregnant helps massively. If i was to contract the disease and was very ill I could die, my baby could die and I could put these midwives in a very serious situation that could have been avoided if I maybe had left it a few months longer. It's not just about me. These are unprecedented times, i think my anxety around it is more than justified. Thanks for your advice.

OP posts:

Original poster

Mama9 · 19/04/2020 16:20

@Starlive23 i guess we just have to do what we feel is right for us. My husband feels the same way

OP posts:

Original poster

Mama9 · 19/04/2020 16:23

@MrsP2015 bloody awful. It's a really tricky thing to decide. Financially especially is scary times, NOBODY knows the effect this will have on our future 🙄 i hope you find your answer

OP posts:

SmileyT · 19/04/2020 16:26

@Mama9 I think TTC is such a personal choice that it's for you, your OH and and maybe a Dr to consider.

I'm personally not putting off TTC as this would be my 1st and if I ran out of time I would never forgive myself for not trying. Mine and DPs job really isn't impacted by Covid-19 (both key workers) and we are luckily in a position where we could go private for scans etc and home birth with a private midwife if required. If I didn't have financial stability or had underlying medical conditions that would require consultant lead nhs care than I may have made a different decision. Good luck with whatever you chose x

Juno231 · 19/04/2020 16:33

I would only hold off if I was happy knowing that it might mean not having a second child at all. With age in mind you could really struggle to conceive and if you want to hold off for a year (or more?) just in case covid will affect you then you stand the risk of leaving it too late.

Unless you're in a job that's at risk then I personally wouldn't hold off.

HelloItsmeAgain1 · 19/04/2020 16:59

If you definitely want a second, I probably wouldn't hold off. 9 months from now is January. By then a lot of things will have changed.

Or, if you aim for June baby earliest (so that's waiting until September to ttc) there may be a vaccine and everything by then. Life will at least be sorting itself out for whatever the new normal is. Next summer is a long way away.

It's not like we can travel or do anything else exciting atm! A perfect reason to be in isolation and save up for dc2. If it happens op! Chances are it will take a while.

HelloItsmeAgain1 · 19/04/2020 17:01

Also I could be wrong but I think a lot of younger people will be putting it off, meaning there is more care out there for those who do. The biggest issue is jobs. Is your job at risk do you think? You would also be protected if pregnant.

Starlive23 · 19/04/2020 17:22

Mama9 my thinking atm is to put off until June/ July and see how things seem. I don't really want to put off any kind.ger than that, but I totally agree with your above points of it not just impacting us but everyone around us.
Think I just need to make a decision and stick to it but I feel totally undecided as I may not even have a job to go back to after all this is over

OpticVA · 19/04/2020 18:44

I’m starting to try for DC2 from next month. DC1 took just shy of 2 years to conceive and it’s likely it will be the same this time. There is always the chance I could fall straight away but I’d rather take that chance considering previous history. 9 months is a long time for circumstances to change whenever you get pregnant regardless of COVID.

cougar1234 · 19/04/2020 21:41

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster

Mama9 · 20/04/2020 08:00

Thank you all for your messages, i had GD with my last pregnancy and its possible i could get it again, which means hospital appoinments galore that i would really want to avoid. I might try in a few months when we are over the peak and hope for the best. I'd love to have another baby but if I can't then i can't. I really need right now to be responsbile for my husband and 1 year old and prioritise us as a family now x

OP posts:

MrsP2015 · 20/04/2020 22:14

Good for you op- I actually think you're wise to wait, even if just afew months.

You'd never forgive yourself if you caught first try and didn't get the healthcare you had previously.

I see that if it happens when we finally start trying then great but if not I have an amazing dc I'm very thankful for- you sound the same!

Good luck.

Original poster

Mama9 · 21/04/2020 13:54

@MrsP2015 thanks so much. The urge for another baby is strong but as strong as it is the worry is stronger! Good luck to you too ! X

OP posts:

GaaaaarlicBread · 21/04/2020 13:58

I am currently pregnant and finding it very hard due to the current climate and I’m high risk. We were still actively TTC we would personally stop, as the care won’t be the same, too much strain on the nhs as it is, and it’s just not safe. I think deep down you know how you feel but the urge for wanting a baby and time being on your side etc must be really hard. I know what you mean xx

GaaaaarlicBread · 21/04/2020 13:58

If we were *

MrsP2015 · 21/04/2020 23:37

How far are you garlic?

GaaaaarlicBread · 22/04/2020 07:15

@MrsP2015 almost 22 weeks

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