Hi, I am feeling very upset after taking the morning after pill and wondered about others’ perspective.
Background is I’ve desperately wanted to be a mum for years but had lots of physical health problems then my marriage ended in my late 30s. Despite that it was hard to give up on the dream of being a mother. Started dating someone new, stupidly managed to miss a few pills on different weeks last month. I then realise there is at least a small chance I could be pregnant and I begin to panic because whilst I do desperately want to be a mother, and I’m already in my late 30s, I had begun to realise that things were going to end with the person I was dating and that he maybe wasn’t a very nice guy. But most of all I panicked because when the reality of possibly being pregnant hit, I realised I was too unwell to care for a child especially as a single mother with an insufficient time supportive ex.
As a result of this panic I think about taking the morning after pill but am concerned about doing it because I have always been quite uncomfortable with the idea of ending a conception. I am very very very pro-abortion rights for women in general as it’s an entirely personal choice and completely subjective. But had always thought this was something I personally would find it difficult to deal with. obviously the morning after pill is not an abortion but my understanding is the research around its mechanism of action is uncertain and they can’t fully rule out that it prevents implantation of an early embryo. Whilst this is not technically a pregnancy, it is postconception so I personally am not comfortable with stopping this (I realise this is a fringe view and most people would be fine with it which I understand).
Eventually I become so panicked that I just take it. After a few days I became overcome with guilt.
Obviously the chance that I was even pregnant in the first place in my late 30s with a few missed pills more than seven days prior were pretty low, Probably under 1% percent. Yet this doesn’t seem to help, I am still overcome with remorse
I realise that biology is very very strong and this has to be something to do with desperately wanting a child, being at a very late age to have one, and having taken an action that just possibly may have stopped a conception from progressing. If the morning after pill only stopped ovulation I would be completely fine with that but it seems as if the science is not completely decided
Realise this all must be a bit idiotic as so many people take it. In fact I have taken it myself a few times and felt no guilt over it but I had absolutely no idea about its potential mechanism of action back then
Having done a bit more research I now realise that conventional contraception like the combined pill and in particular the progesterone only pill and IUDs also rely on stopping implantation of conception as a mechanism of action. I’m trying to comfort myself by thinking this is a normal part of contraception, but it doesn’t seem to work.
Has anyone else taken this and how did they feel about it afterwards?