Husband reluctant to start a family, advice needed please

[Confused857]

Hi lovely people. Sorry this might be a little off topic but I wondered if any of you has gone through something similar.

When I first started going out with my now husband I was quite young and was not bothered about having children, we both said it was not a priority and we could adopt in the future. I have since changed my mind, might be because I am getting older and my sisters and friends are starting their own families which has made me feel I want my own children. My husband in the other hand has even stronger views and feelings against having children which is making me very sad, we love each other very much and I am scared this could be a breaking point.

I think he is scared of losing his freedom of going out and on holidays and has never been great with children. So my question is if any of your partners/husbands used to not want children and then changed his mind? How did it happen? I do not want to force him to do something he doesn't want just to keep me.

Bless you. That's so hard. No advice. Just very difficult when you love someone but want different things. You probably have to choose baby or him.

"I have sacrificed a lot to be with DH, moved from the other side of the world so we could be together, leaving my family and friends behind has been the hardest but I did it because I really love him."

Leave him now. Don't waste any more time with him. Don't make any more sacrifices for him. Sacrificing the desire to be a mother is not something I would do for any man.

Move back to where your family and friends are.

I was always on the fence about a kids and then hit that 29/30 bracket and something switched with me as well.

How long have you felt this way? Do you think you could hold out for a year or two until your more certain?

@I0NA Thanks for your advice I don't think he would be bale to go through an adoption either as you said, if it requires more work and commitment.

@AnotherEmma I know I need to talk to him and make a choice, I just don't feel ready right now, especially in the middle of the current situation. Moving back now doesn't seem to be the best idea, I have developed my professional career here and what was my home is not the same anymore.

I expect you'll drag it out a few more years and then feel it's too late to meet someone else and start a family

Please please don't leave it too long. I understand it's a difficult decision but no man is worth giving up on having children. You will resent him. Years down the line he could leave you and have children with a younger woman but you'll be too old. We see it on mumsnet a lot.

I don't want to drag it for years, as you said I do not want to resent him but also do not want to make rushed decisions. I don't think he will have a clear mind in the middle of what is going on so I want to go back to our normal lives and then talk to him. I want to be clear on what I am doing for next year in case I need to start again