Concieving after an abortion

[Able2009]

Hi, I’m new here and would like other views on this, it may be long but please bare with me.

So, we (my hubby and I ) have 2 girls aged 11 & 8, I fell pregnant unplanned last June (2019) but decided not to go through with the pregnancy. Our decision for that was hubby was due to be away for a long time with work, I was struggling at one point with working (I was doing ALOT of overtime for a while doing 40-50hr weeks with back to back shifts and very little sleep) -childcare-running the home, we were planning to buy our own home and a lot happened financially that we knew we wouldn't be financially stable for a third child. We felt and still do believe this was the correct decision at the time.
however recently the conversation has come up ALOT to have another child. Neither of us are more one way than the other, I personally would love another child because well who doesn't love having babies but for me I also don't feel done, however I don’t crave or have a need to have another child. it is something I think about often. My hubby has done a pros and cons list and from his point of view as much as he would like another there’s more cons than pros. We have 2 children who we don't know how they cope with another sibling, there’s money, work, buying everything again as we sold everything after our youngest got bigger. I know a lot of it may seem small to some people however its not to us, our biggest concern would be the family dynamic, we want our own home to be able to provide stability for our children which we haven’t had as we have been forced out of our home we were in for 6yrs through no choice of ours or the landlords. So having our forever home is a big factor too.
I never want to experience an abortion again, I fully understand that not every one has the same view on abortions, but there is a part of me that now since having the baby chat often doubts myself in was it the right decision. I don’t regret doing it, it fully was the right decision at the time we weren’t in a great place finically or emotionally. Will that slight doubt ever go? Or am I only thinking that because of the baby talk?
What I would like is advice or more what peoples experiences are of having another child in a similar situation?

You won’t regret what you have but you might regret what you don’t have. Run with your heart I did and I adore my 3rd little one can’t imagine life without her.

It's not even been a year yet - I would give it more time

Going of what’s you’ve said and what’s happening at the moment I wouldn’t.

The back end of this year and next year is going to be financially bad for the entire country. House prices are going to plummet up to 50% causing sellers to put their house on the market. Both of you could lose your jobs. That alone would put me off having another child.

What your feeling is a bit of regret, which is entirely normal, I had one many years ago and although it was the right choice I still have pangs on how things would have turned out. Intact I had a broody twinge a few weeks ago when I was picking a Moses basket up with a family member and I reminded myself of the hellish sleep I’ve had for the last seven years!

I’d definitely wait

I had one a few years back, I was with a really horrible abusive, mental health was bad and didn’t want to ever have to see him again when we split, maybe selfish but for me it was the right decision. I have a 12 year old daughter so it hurt me even more. I still think about the baby now but I know it wasn’t meant to be.
I’ve met someone and we are so happy, I’m now 17 weeks pregnant and although I’m scared it feels right.
I always felt like I wanted to have another one and knew I’d regret it if I didn’t. It took me a lot longer to conceive which I thought maybe due to abortion but fingers crossed all is okay!

Sorry if I couldn’t be much help but wanted to share my story x

*meant to say horrible abusive partner

You won’t regret what you have but you might regret what you don’t have

I'm afraid I don't agree with this. Lots of parents regret having children...I mean, they love them obviously but would do things differently if they knew what it would be like. I am happy to have two dc, 12 and 9. I wouldn't have a third child because I know I'd regret it. That's not to say you would op, just giving a different perspective.

Thank you for your views.

I know it’s been less than a year but at the moment it’s only chats and nothing more, my hubby is currently away and will be till early next year so it’s not something that will happen in the coming weeks, we are just trying to plan ahead with what we want to achieve after this time away. He’s job is completely safe, however mine isn’t but I earn minimum wage and don’t do a lot of hours unless it’s overtime which they have massively cut back on recently before the virus. So my job isn’t a huge loss anyway.

@planttheseedstodayfortomorow did your older ones adjust to the new sibling well?

I know every child is different, our eldest is very independent and doesn’t show or tell her emotions well she’s quite a private child where the youngest is very emotional and has no problems expressing her emotions at all.

@Sunflower2019

Thank you for your view, yeah I feel the same at that moment in time it was the right thing to do.

Fingers crossed it all goes smoothly for you.

@formerbabe

I fully understand where your coming from, that is one of my concerns that either me or hubby would regret having the third. We would without a doubt love the child that would never be in question. But we are happy to only have 2 children. It’s just that little niggle that has been there for a while with both of us about another. I don’t know if that will always be there.