warning - emotional ranting & first post. TTC over a year

[hellomarshmallow3]

Hey everyone.

This is my first post here.

I have a daughter already who is 6. She went into shock when i was in labour and sustained a severe brain injury. she has cerebral palsy, epilepsy, asthma and epilepsy. She is non verbal and non mobile requiring 24 hour care.

About 4 years ago I had two miscarriages. I had to have a myectomy as I wouldn't stop bleeding.

Since then we were too traumatised to try again. Until last year Feb.

We haven't got pregnant in that whole time not even once. I have gained a lot of weight and am probably about 15 stone.

Every time I get my period I am heartbroken. I want my chlid to have a sibling. I'd love to have a child that can talk to me, or eat. My daughter is my world but I feel like I'm missing out so much. we are "that" family. I never thought any of this could happen to us. I am healthy, I don't drink or smoke.

I went to the docs and had an ultrasound a few weeks. All fine. Obviously now with this virus I can't really be going for blood tests etc. Feel stuck in limbo.

Yesterday I cried and cried heartbroken. Other half is now too depressed to get out of bed and keeps saying what if we can't have another and so on.

It feels so unfair. I can't evem watch tb without getting upset. Or going on fb. Everyone has kids, they're everywhere. We are on 12 week isolation as my daughter is in the extremely vulnerable category. I am stuck with all of these negative thoughts.

I am trying not to be stressed as this can affect things.

Please send hope. My heart is so sad :(

Sending much love to everyone.

Hello @hellomarshmallow3 I couldn't just read and not reply to you. My heart goes out to you; I'm so sorry for your losses and you daughter's brain injury. Life can be so cruel and I can't imagine what you and your husband have been/are going through.

I would honestly ban social media. Comparison is the thief of joy and right now, you need to be getting as much joy as you possibly can. Social media can make things worse.

The positives are that you have fallen pregnant before and your ultrasound was fine. Another massive positive is that your daughter has you and your husband for love, support and care; she is lucky to have you both.

I think it's normal to have bad and good days, but when there are more bad than good, perhaps seeing (or Skyping) your GP may help.

Sending you a handhold x

@hellomarshmallow3

Hey everyone.

This is my first post here.

I have a daughter already who is 6. She went into shock when i was in labour and sustained a severe brain injury. she has cerebral palsy, epilepsy, asthma and epilepsy. She is non verbal and non mobile requiring 24 hour care.

About 4 years ago I had two miscarriages. I had to have a myectomy as I wouldn't stop bleeding.

Since then we were too traumatised to try again. Until last year Feb.

We haven't got pregnant in that whole time not even once. I have gained a lot of weight and am probably about 15 stone.

Every time I get my period I am heartbroken. I want my chlid to have a sibling. I'd love to have a child that can talk to me, or eat. My daughter is my world but I feel like I'm missing out so much. we are "that" family. I never thought any of this could happen to us. I am healthy, I don't drink or smoke.

I went to the docs and had an ultrasound a few weeks. All fine. Obviously now with this virus I can't really be going for blood tests etc. Feel stuck in limbo.

Yesterday I cried and cried heartbroken. Other half is now too depressed to get out of bed and keeps saying what if we can't have another and so on.

It feels so unfair. I can't evem watch tb without getting upset. Or going on fb. Everyone has kids, they're everywhere. We are on 12 week isolation as my daughter is in the extremely vulnerable category. I am stuck with all of these negative thoughts.

I am trying not to be stressed as this can affect things.

Please send hope. My heart is so sad :(

Sending much love to everyone.

A year on. Same issues and just came onto my period. In so much pain. Was on cycle day 35 and really got my hopes up. So depressed

Hello. I'm so sorry you're going through a rough time.

Just wanted to say that please follow up with the GP. I've had three lots of blood tests to check my fertility in the last month. They're still doing tests even during Covid. At least that way you might get some answers on the mechanics.

I know how rough it is. I'm desperately trying to conceive my first, am over 40 and am worried that I've missed my opportunity. It's heartbreaking.

I'm so sorry. Sending love