TTC during pandemic after loss

[Thelittlenut]

Hi, I’m very new to this! I had a MMC in February at 13 weeks and wanted to start TTC straight after (which we have). We’ve still continued TTC despite what is going on as having that to focus on has helped since my miscarriage and I’m currently CD15, second cycle of TTC. I can’t help feeling guilty for still TTC and it seems a lot of people have stopped- understandably. Anyone else still TTC? What are your feelings?

Hello! I had surgical management for a MMC at 9 weeks, 2 weeks ago. I keep going backwards and forwards over this, no idea when the right time to start trying again will be! This situation could go on for many many months and I don't want to regret not just trying again 🙁 it's such a tough one.. But either way I don't think you should feel guilty if you are TTC

Ah thank you for your response, glad I'm not alone in this but so sorry for your loss and that you're going through this too. It's so hard isn't it. I had surgical management too but middle of Feb. This is our first month 'trying' as such, although not ovulation testing or temping. I feel exactly the same, i want to be pregnant again ASAP so if this contiues for months and months i don't want to think 'oh maybe i should have just tried'. We were lucky in that I fell pretty quickly the first time, but there's nothing to say it'll be the same this time, so I agreed, I don't want to waste anytime😩

Hi, I had a MMC in nov and had surgery early dec. We decided we would give ourselves 3 months to properly recover and to make sure we were in the best position to start trying again. Which we've done and we're feeling ready and typically here we now are 3 months later in the middle of a pandemic! We're very torn but think we are going to wait this month just to see how things play out. I'm already going to be anxious with any future pregnancy without the worry of this on top. I also need extra hospital appointments and blood tests so just doesn't feel too wise for me but if my circumstances were different we'd probably carry on. Such a tough decision to make though 💐

Sorry for your loss Fizzl. It's a really hard decision to know whether to wait or not. That makes sense and seems like a very sensible decision! I guess the guilt comes from that knowing it would put extra pressure on the nhs, although I'm normally in good health, pregnancy comes with a lot of extra appointments. I guess it's different for everyone and has to be a personal decision, just wanted to see what others thoughts were!

Hi @Thelittlenut. I’ve been feeling awful reading some people’s comments on other threads telling people they are irresponsible for trying now but I think, what if you got pg 3 months ago and now this is happening. You couldn’t have predicted this. And what if this is over in a couple of months? If you were trying you might have conceived then. I am on my 2nd cycle of the year and I really don’t want to miss any opportunities.

Also you might put this on hold for a few months, start again in the summer and fall pg, then Covid might come back next winter 🤷‍♀️

It also annoys me that nobody ever seems concerned about adding to the ever increasing population of the world and the negative effects this has on the environment.

I’m continuing TTC for my first (after one we would love to adopt 2 more) and I will ask for as minimum appointments as I can. When my mum was pg she never had all the appointments you have these days, so like you say, if you are healthy (which I am too) are they all really needed?

Good luck to you (and try not to listen to the Covid baby police 😚)✨ x

Sorry @Thelittlenut I am so sorry for your loss too 💐 xx

@OrangeJ you've made me feel so much better, thank you so much for your lovely response. You've pretty much put everything I've been feeling into words. I'm glad I'm not the only one and i think you're completely right. I couldn't bear waiting a few months then struggling to conceive and thinking 'what if we hadn't waited'.
I completely agree, there's not the need for all the appointments if you're not high risk!
I also think it's so lovely that you're going to adopt after having one naturally!
Good luck to you too and thank you again😘

I genuinely do not understand anyone TTC in all of this madnesses!! I think it's crazy and quite selfish.

@rhowton your comment about being 'crazy and quite selfish' is rude unwanted on this thread. Goodbye.

Hello @Thelittlenut @Beebee8 @Fizzl @OrangeJ I'm so sorry to hear of your losses and the predicament you're in. I had a MMC in October at nearly 8 weeks and we are continuing to try. My view is that if I am lucky enough to fall pregnant, myself and my husband will quarantine and I will leave only for medical appointments. I've wanted a baby for so long that I will not let CV stop us. Some people may find it irresponsible and to that, I say 'ok thanks, not your body or your decision though so move on'. It's up to us what we do with our bodies and although this is giving us extra things to think about, there is no 'right' or wrong in this. Best of luck to you all x

@rhowton I've said this before on other threads - nobody is asking for other people's opinions on their choices! What the original poster is wanting to know is what other people who have been in this situation are deciding to do - not what your opinion on this matter is 🙄

@danielasummer sorry to hear of your loss too. You're absolutely right I don't believe there is a right or wrong decision. It will differ for everyone and you just need to figure out what feels right for you and what you are comfortable with. Don't let other people make you feel bad for the decision you make.

There are lots of people on the conception board and miscarriage threads who are carrying on. My view is if this is going to continue for a long time then we will probably go back to ttc if we know that maternity services aren't being too affected and I feel reassured we will get the care I need (and I am more high risk which is swaying things for me - if I wasn't it would be different). We can't put our lives on hold indefinitely. There's always going to be something and you never know what's around the corner.

@danielasummer sorry for your loss too, such a hard thing to go through. I completely agree. I also believe that in a couple of months it will have all calmed down (hopefully!) so a lot of a pregnancy may not even be affected, there's no telling. As long as we know the risks and are prepared to take precautions if it does happen I don't think it's 'selfish' at all. Good luck to you too❤️

The OP said she felt guilty for TTC and that others have stopped trying. I think people who are not pregnant should put off TTC. We have no idea how long this will go on for and we don't fully know the outcome. I think people are crazy for wanting to get pregnant purposely at this time. Many people share this view, a few of my friends are midwives and share this view. My husbands close friend is a doctor and he shares this view. If people can wait 6 months or a year, to have more knowledge of the situation, I think they should.

@thelittlenut really sorry for your loss, and also others on this thread who have been through similar - I've never been through that myself but heart goes out to you.

My situation is a bit different, TTC #1 and this is now month 7. We have started to worry that it is taking a while, and we have also decided to carry on despite the pandemic. Personally, I feel that if there is a fertility issue, we don't want to have delayed any more than necessary before being able to be referred for help.

As others have said, this situation could go on for a long time, so there may not be a 'perfect' time for pregnancy for a good while...and I'm confident that if we are lucky enough to get a BFP soon then we can keep any risk low by continuing to be sensible, isolating ourselves as much as we can and only going to the essential appointments.

I don't think it's anyone's place to criticize others' decisions, I can totally understand why some people prefer to stop trying for now and why others are carrying on. So yes can completely see where you are coming from, please don't feel guilty, and best of luck to all