Decided to stop TTC. I'm doing it for the wrong reasons 😭

[TTClou]

So I got my af today 4 days late, my first thought when I see it wasnt I'm not pregnant it was 'hes not back' and it broke my heart.

My son was born sleeping 26th nov 2019 at 20 weeks. It's so hard. He was perfect and healthy, I had a infection and blame myself for my waters breaking early and my boy passing. I convinced myself I wanted to try again but after today I've realised I wasnt trying for a baby I was trying to bring my son back and I know that's impossible I just cant seem to except that. I want to hold him again.

I've decided to go back on the pill but do wish all you ladies all the luck and i hope you get your BFP x

I have nothing helpful to say but didn’t want to read and run.

So sorry to read this. I had miscarriages but not quite the same. I know what you mean, a desperation to be pregnant again. But you are right and you need to grieve. You might only need a month, you might need longer, but you will feel ready again and it will be ok.

It wasn't your fault. It's shit, really shit but it wasn't your fault.

Virtual hugs xx

I'm so sorry, it sounds like you need some time for your body and mind to heal. Take care and hope to see you somewhere happier on this board in the future

I am so sorry that your son died. Please try to forgive yourself. It is a truly awful thing to have happened.

You have to do what you feel is right for you. I lost my son 7months ago, similar to you, had an infection, waters broke & they couldn’t stop labour & he fell asleep in my arms. I’m still completely broken that he’s not here & there have been times where I’ve wanted to give up ttc. There’s no rules for this kind of thing, only you know what to do. I hope you get whatever you want whenever you want it xx