Fertility treatment and telling work - I need advice!

[buttercupbabe]

I'm just about to start some fertility treatment that entails follicular tracking (scans to check the size of eggs) and the scans will need to be every other day until the egg/s reach a certain size. I work 2 days a week as a teacher. Today I've booked in for my first scan and was told that the scan lady only works certain days and that the only appt they had was 8.15 am on one of my work days. I reckon by the time my appt is finished the earliest I'll be able to get to school is 9.15 am - making me 1/2 hour late. The problem is that I really don't want my colleagues to know about my treatment, so I've asked my consultant's secretary to see if there is any way she can arrange for my scans to be mon/weds/fri as I dont work then and she said she'll have to look into it. Worst case scenario and I have to go on my work days what do I say and also am I entitled to take time off? I'm so stressed about this and so p**d off because it's costing us a lot of money and I thought that by going privately I'd be able to see people at a time more convenient to me. I feel bad about taking time off work as I'm already part-time and also because people do tend to gossip and if they see me coming in late they'll want to know why and also I'll have to tell the teacher who's class I'm covering so that she can teach them. Help!!! Any advice?

HI buttercupbabe
You are not going to get away with no one knowing if you end up having to go on days you work.
If you do end up not being able to get appts on your normal days off, let work know. You are not entitled to time off but they are more likely to be supportive and sympathetic rather than gossipy etc if they know why.
Good luck

I had to go through full blown ICSi 3 times

Quite often my appointments were when my body needed the appointment, not when I could fit it in with work, I had some appointemnts at very odd times.

I was working full time at the time and decided to tell my boss only, she was very supportive and let me take as much time off as needed, I just told other colleagues that it was hospital appointments, they may well have been curious but nobody asked any questions.

My boss let me have the time off no questions asked, I worked for a very large company and I think she may have had to explain the situation to somebody in the Personnel dept.

Good luck with your treatment anyway.

I worked full time during IVF treatment and told no-one at work. I said I either missed the train (if I wasn't too late in after a scan) or had an appointment (dentist, doctor etc). For egg collection and implantation I said I had an operation and wouldn't be in for 3 days.

I chose not to tell work as I really didn't think it was any of their business what I did. I also felt that I would have received very sympathetic treatment if I had told them (worked in a large bank in the city) but would have had less sympathy etc if I had had to go through IVF multiple times.

Have you thought about taking time off work, or thinking up some feasible excuses if your worst case scenario happens - top tips - specialist appointments are always good for being late as people realise that these cannot be moved and can take months of waiting to get to see a specialist, or a memorial service etc as an excuse?

Thanks for the replies. I think I might have to be honest with them. I think I'll only tell the head and the teacher involved because the rest of them keep asking when I'm going to have another baby. I had no probs conceiving ds and was pg within months of getting married. I find it annoying and just don't want everyone knowing as it's upsetting to have people constantly asking, which they will do if they know I'm having to have treatment this time. Also if it takes a few months then I'd have to keep coming up with different excuses each month and only working the 2 days they might see it as a being a bit dodgy.
Madlabowner you did really well to keep ivf a secret. I'm very fortunate that the treatment I'm about to start is for a short luteal phase and involves the scans and a couple of HCG injections.

Good luck buttercup, hope all goes well for you with the treatment. Fingers crossed!

Buttercup...I have mostly kept my five IUI treatments quiet.
I am fortunate enough to have the administrater as a good friend and she fills in the absence forms!
I also only teach two days a week. My head knows nothing about my treatment and I do not want her to.
You are entiltled to as many hospital appointments as you need and the head has NO RIGHT to ask you what they are for.

If you were ttc 'naturally' you wouldn't be telling her/him IYSWIM.....that's what I think anyway!

I'm a bit worried with how I'm going to explian away IVF in the new year...but we will see!

A consultant appointment or hospital trip is normally my given reason and I have to have the WHOLE day off for my tracking scans as the clinic is 70 miles away!
A right pain when you have to go every couple of days!!!

All the best with it.
Cogs.
X

Thanks all. I actually decided to talk to the head about it today. She was extremely supportive and told me not to worry about taking time off. I feel so much better now.
Coggy - just want to wish you the best of luck with IVF next year

that's great buttercup, it will be much less stressful with such a supportive boss I'm sure. Best of luck with it.

Hi everyone

I'm new to this site, my sister-in-law who is still trying for a baby told me about it. I am going through ICSI at the moment and next week I have the three scans to see how the eggs are doing with hopefully egg collection the week after. It's all a bit daunting for me and my husband as we have never had to do anything like this before. Luckily I am my own boss (have my own retail business) so having time off isn't too much of an issue but I did explain to a collegue who was very sensive about it. I hope it all goes well for everyone and if anyone has been attempting the injections I'd love to hear from them

thanks

Astilbe

I used an auto-injector - a little gun type thing which made it a lot easier. I'm not sure that I could actaully do the whole inject yourself thing. I also found that the thinner calibre needles caused less bruising. Good luck!

Just wanted to say good luck to those of you going through treatment at the moment. I had icsi twice and am now lucky enough to have a 9 month old son from fet. I was honest with my work as i had a very understanding boss at the time who supported me all the way. It does help when work are understanding and can be flexible.

Good luck to you all xxxxx

I did as madlabowner did and thought no-one knew - "meetings" and doctors' appointments, plus holiday. Sorry, this isn't much use for a teacher.

However, people worked it out on their own and recently someone more junior asked me for advice re her fertility treatment and taking time off, which was nice. I told her just to go, tell her line manager she was having medical treatment and would be at hospital a lot and would make up the hours in the evenings etc. However I was lucky and got pregnant as a result of the ICSI, and people knowing in retrospect is less bad I think than people knowing at the time.

They gave me an auto-injector too, which better than needles. DH used it, I was too chicken.