42..... is it mad to try for another baby at this age?

[Oldasthehills]

They may offer to do that jump start of your ovaries thing for me and I would love another but suddenly feel so old!!! Haven't managed to get pg since ds (7) except for one mc.
I'm just so frightened of it being too late but getting my hopes up etc.
Anyone feel encouraging?
My 43 year old friend's having a great pg at the moment!

Anchovy - you are quite right to point out that fertility is very personal and all the statistics are averages so some women are really quite fertile in their 40's (and FSH should give you an indication of this) but any woman who has IVF as an older person will confirm that egg quality deteriorates markedly (on average!) over 40yrs to the extent that many IVF clinics will not take a woman over 43.

Someone(?) said that most health risks are not significantly higher with age which is I beleive true - outside of the commonly known risks of Downs syndrome and less well known multiple births.

Yes, Kerwcumber - as you say statistics do not reflect personal experience - I got pregant quickly both times despite being over 40 - were were incredibly lucky. And Expat, I agree about the need for energy, but personally I don't really feel any different to how I feel 10 years ago - if I make the effort to take plenty of exerices I feel great, if not I feel a bitlethargic same as in my early 30s. Obviously some people have specific reasons why they can't keep as fit as they did as they get older, but assuming you're OK I'm not sure it's an issue for everyone.

I do find ways to deal with DS (18 months) that require less energy/bending as at 42 I definitely have less flexibility/energy than I did 20 yrs ago.

Why do I never see in the "aren't reins on children terrible" threads and answer saying "I am too old and creaky of knees to keep up with DS" . On the other hand I adore him and really don't give a stuff about not going out much or being able to afford stuff which would have got me down even in my 30's.

oldasthehills - m/c is certainly NOT some sort of punishment for your age! I've recently had one at age 30.

miscarriage is no more a punishment than wrinkles - both are a function of aging. I don't think of my wrinkles as a punishment just a fact of life.

I do appreciate hearing all these views, I meant to stress the irrationality of 'punishment' I don't think it's at all rational or true! I just do have some regrets about not trying sooner to have a 2nd child and not having turned to medical intervention sooner before I got pg with ds. We just tried and tried and eventually I got pg. But years were passing and I can't help but beat myself up a bit about lost time and how my ds might have a sibling now etc etc
you know, regrets and all. I don't think like this all the time - it's just because I'm seeing the Obstetrician tomorrow for a decision on the jump start approach ( I suspect ) and it's brought all my life decisions crashing into my lap and making me slightly hysterical. It'll pass though!
Belgo, of course mc isn't simply about age - it's just so much more common in older mothers that it feels a more probable event for a pg at my age.

Sorry, it's probab a gynaecologist not an Obs - I slightly mix them up.

oldasthehills

Can I ask. Are the invertigations/treatment you are having being done privately?

I ask because when had trouble conceiving ds at 38 years old I was referred for tests but it all took so long to come through that I was pregannt by the time my appointment came up.

I am now 42 and would like another but it doesn't look like it is happening and I'll be 43 before I get to see a specailist on the nhs going by what happened last time.

I too feel like it won't happen but I suppose I'd like to see if there is anything else I can do and not feel like I at least didn't try.

I too feel like I should have started earlier and also that I should have gone for a second quickly after ds was born but the miscarriages before ds and the pnd I got after the birth of ds left me completely unable to contemplate another child at the time

I got pg at 40 and 43 easily. 2nd time was virtually an immaculate conception as I'd had a traumatic delivery and needed surgery after DD1. Also was still bf. No one sucked their cheeks in at all (just as well) except the very first midwife I saw the first time who went on and on and on about risks - only 1 in 100 fgs, that means 99% chance of everything OK. But they never put it that way round. Both pgs fine - no extra appts or anything, in fact I had less appts as that midwife forgot to tell me when I had to make them! (Definitely not the 'barrage of old lady tests' that India Knight so charmlessly referred to in one of her anti-older mother columns. Cow.) Good luck!!

lazyc, the tests have taken awhile to come round actually. Maybe a year all together? My gp originally tested me for early menopause, ruled that out and then referred me to my local hospital gynae people. This has taken awhile but I have actually speeded some stages up by speaking to a few people in various departments, dept secretaries etc and saying can I come any earlier than this? sort of thing and a couple of times they've squeezed me in earlier. (They did that for the hsg/ink xray thing) I'm hugely nice when I ring and always say thanks and can I have any cancellations etc.
But I so so empathise with you lazyc, with the pnd after ds and the mc slowing me down.
Actually a significant factor was that I tore in labour with ds and it healed so poorly that I didn't have painless sex until about three years after ds was born! I still think the stitches were really badly done but what can you do? But certainly it guaranteed a virtually celibate approach to trying to get pg. Never the best approach for those of us with low fertility.
I think I'm like you, I want to feel I've done everything I can even if it's super late in the day just to see if I'm meant to have another!

sorry lazyc, all tests have been NHS

Just wanted to say "Go for it" Oldasthehills .. .

I'm 43 and still trying ... loved reading your post JulesJules

Good luck tomorrow Oldas ... let us know how you get on ...

thanks Conting!

I meant Counting!

Don't wish to pry but hope it went ok at the ob today Oldastheh

Thanks Counting! I saw a very nice woman dr who said my progesterone is showing low so they're giving me clomid and seeing how that goes. So I'm going to try that. Feel better juts to have this last try and at least I'll know I've tried. It's also been very welcome to post about here and hear so many useful things from other mnetters.

Oh that's great Oldas - it makes such a difference when you get an understanding doctor.

Feel totally the same way about "at least I'll know I've tried".

Good luck and hope we can keep in touch!

Thanks Counting... where are you usually? Are you on any ttc threads? I haven't been over there for awhile.

Nor me ... I dip in occasionally ... but usually lurking not posting ... largely because when we were trying for no.1 it took over my life and I became a scary up-and-down madwoman. So although we're definitely trying for no.2 I am trying to keep it in a separate "box" this time ifyswim ...

Usually post on parenting/behaviour threads

• need all the help I can get!!

Wishing you every success x

This is my 1st time here,and its great. I'm now 47yrs old, my 1st son at 27, 2nd girl at 40,3rd at 44, we are trying again at 47 have had coulp mc,and god looks after them,I am now taking some herbs my progest is a bit low. at 47 still able to fall preg.Is anyone doing the same thing. ps my last 2 pregnancys werea breese.