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I’ve not told my DH I’m probably pregnant

11 replies

gg321 · 11/02/2020 21:00

I’m only 10dpo so I know still very early but I had this line on a Superdrug test this afternoon so not even fmu and I’ve heard these tests are pretty good so I’m fairly sure I am pregnant. We have unprotected sex so I know there’s a chance it can happen and so does he! But we were always as careful as we could be without using protection trying to avoid those fertile days but had a surprise very early ovulation a few days after dtd and here I am with a very likely bfp and no one to talk to. Wouldn’t want to tell any family or friends until after 12 weeks but I realise I obviously do need to let my hubby know very soon! I wouldn’t want to tell him if it turns out to be nothing so should I atleast wait until period late and make sure it’s a definite bfp? I know deep down he will be happy (eventually) but I’m worried about his immediate reaction as it will be a shock for him, he often makes comments about not wanting another child but I don’t know how serious these comments are. We are in a very solid marriage with lovely children already, I don’t think he feels the need for anymore, he likes things how they are. When and how do I start the conversation? also do I say I think I’m pregnant but haven’t tested yet then he’s kind of semi warned for a potential bfp ...I know that’s a small fib but it would be easing him into the idea?! or do I just say had a feeling or I was late so I tested and I am pregnant?? Assuming I am and this test isn’t dodgy. Will do a FRER in the morning. Sorry to ramble on but feeling a bit alone, I want to feel really happy and I do deep down just want to get to the point where my hubby is too but I know I’ve got to have that big shock conversation with him first!

I’ve not told my DH I’m probably pregnant
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MiniGuinness · 11/02/2020 21:01

You were trying to get pregnant so what is the surprise/shock? Just tell him now.

littletandme · 11/02/2020 21:11

Let's be honest, if you are having unprotected sex it really shouldn't be a shock should it. I'm sure if he was that against another child he'd (well you both would) have taken more precautions. Just tell him.

ovener · 11/02/2020 21:13

Congratulations! Don't feel guilty for the positive test - it takes two to tango and you both knew it could happen. Just be honest; you're in this together and you need his support. He might surprise you and be happy with you, after all he knows how babies are made and he could have used a condom if he was sure he didn't want any more.

bitheby · 11/02/2020 21:17

That's a really strong positive. I'm about the same stage and getting nothing on tests yet. I'd love a line like that! Congratulations.

gg321 · 11/02/2020 21:24

I really really don’t want to come across like I’m not grateful for this positive and I do feel truly blessed. Sorry if I’m pathetic also and I obviously will tell dh very soon but any conversation starter ideas would be helpful. I know I’m being pathetic and I should just say the words but I need to ease it across if you know hat I mean!

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AnneLovesGilbert · 11/02/2020 21:35

Stop saying you’re pathetic! You’re not. But you are pregnant, which you and your husband both knew was a likely outcome of unprotected sex, especially since you already have children and know how babies are made.

Did you tell him you’d ovulated early?

I don’t think you need any preamble or to pretend you haven’t tested and don’t know. “DH, I’m pregnant” is direct and doesn’t leave room for any doubt. He has no right to be upset or annoyed. If he didn’t want any more children he should have had a vasectomy or worn a condom. He didn’t and now it’s done.

gg321 · 11/02/2020 21:43

Thankyou @AnneLovesGilbert you’re completely right with what you say, but I probably am being slightly pathetic as I know he will be happy after the very initial shock but like you say he knows aswell as me how babies are made so I’m reality where’s the shock?! I don’t even know why I posted now, probably just wanting to talk to someone

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AnneLovesGilbert · 11/02/2020 21:53

MN is always good for a chat or if you need a listen. When you tell him please don’t apologise. You didn’t do it to yourself. You both had sex. You’re both going to be parents again. He must have been open to the idea of expanding your family or he’d have taken precautions. Keep that in mind now, when you tell him (tonight? In the morning?) and when you have future discussions about the pregnancy.

Even when you’re actively enthusiastically ttc you can feel a bit shocked at a bfp, so take a deep breath, talk to your husband and then both let it sink in.

gg321 · 11/02/2020 22:13

He is open to the idea of expanding just not really talked about it yet, he will be fine, I’m just worrying over nothing. To be honest I’m probably just completely overwhelmed and shocked by the fact I’m pregnant like you say it can be a shock even when ‘trying’. But that doesn’t mean I’m not so so happy, I love my children a million times more than life itself and the idea of expanding that love is magical. Comes back to me being a bit pathetic haha I need to let it sink in together with dh, get a grip and embrace what we have been blessed with

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Pomeranian · 11/02/2020 22:24

Congratulations OP on your pregnancy.
It always takes a while to sink in regardless, I am sure your OH will be thrilled once the initial shock has subsided Smile

gg321 · 11/02/2020 22:26

@Pomeranian 😘

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