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Original poster

TTC after miscarriage & ectopic

9 replies

Bananaloaf88 · 27/01/2020 17:36

Hi Ladies,
Last year was a rough year after a miscarriage in August & an ectopic in Nov. I am ready to start TTC again. Looking for some advice from others who might have been through similar experiences.

It seems silly but the thing getting me down at the moment is that I know my chances of having a baby in 2020 are slim now. I think this has beeb highlighted by two friends announcing their pregnancies recently too. Sad

Trying not to put too much pressure on myself but I desperately want to be pregnant again...

OP posts:
Sammyclaire22 · 27/01/2020 22:43

Big hugs... I had an ectopic 2 years ago and it was simply shit. My best friend then announced she was pregnant and her due date was almost the same as mine would have been and it broke me.
But I was lucky and managed to get pregnant the next month (a miracle really as we had been ttc for 12months before that)

Even if I hadn't, my surgeon told me it shouldn't affect my fertility too much. Not sure what you had done but i still have both ovaries and he said the tubes float about so my remaining tube can move to the other side to vacuum up the egg. It's not ideal as having both, but fertility isn't halved like I thought.
Ttc no 2 now and started with opks and temping from the start to make sure I make the most of each month and have little swimmers waiting for the egg. Cycle no4 but still optimistic (hoping I had implantation bleeding yesterday!)

MC and ectopic are heartbreaking, but don't give up hope. When you do meet your baby it's worth every shed tear and sleepless night. Tbh she was very hard work the first year but knowing how it felt after the loss meant it was a lot easier to cope with as I wouldn't be without her. X

Original poster
Bananaloaf88 · 28/01/2020 07:05

@Sammyclaire22 Thank you for your reply. That is pretty much what has happened to me. Two of my best friends have announced they are due about 3/4 weeks after I would have been. Sad

Thank you for your positive story. I am trying to stay optimistic but sometimes it is hard. X

OP posts:
LWMB · 28/01/2020 07:23

If you don't mind me asking, did you have any symptoms with the ectopic?x

Original poster
Bananaloaf88 · 28/01/2020 08:30

@LWMB It started off as light bleeding. But then the bleeding continued on & off for a week or more. The blood was very watery and brown. Which at first I took the colour as a positive sign. But watery brown blood is common in ectopics.

I had been getting HCG blood tests done because of the bleeding and my levels where nowhere near doubling every 48 hours, or even every 4 days.

I had a tightness on my right side and pain along the bottom of my right back. But to be honest when I mentioned this to a mid-wife they did decide to take me back in for a check-up however they did say this was not typical ectopic pain. It is usually located much closer to your bikini area.

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LWMB · 28/01/2020 08:35

@Bananaloaf88 thank you so much for sharing. I'm currently 4weeks and feeling very overwhelmed and anxious about it all. I am having generalised cramps which I hear are normal but just very nervous about miscarriage/ectopic. I'm really anxious to get an early scan done as soon as I can x

YellowFlower22 · 28/01/2020 08:36

Hi
I'm sorry to hear of your struggles and the pain you must of been through last year.
I suffered a miscarriage at 12 weeks and the fear remains with you doesn't it.
I think we all ha e to try and keep positive, places like this are great for support. Even if we are strangers I felt so alone at the time last year. That my friends (especially those with babies or recently pregnant) just didn't understand. I felt bitter but realised that you have to think of other people's happiness and who happy we would be in that situation.
I'm in my two week wait now after deciding to try again New Years. Didn't catch January and of course blame myself but I'm trying to hold out hope for this month.

Original poster
Bananaloaf88 · 28/01/2020 08:39

@LWMB I totally understand. I think cramping without bleeding is normal. But you will be anxious until you see a little heart beat on the screen.

Try to relax. I was so nervous of having an ectopic aftwr my miscarriage and then it happened. At times I feel I willed it to happen with worry but that kind of thinking is ridiculous.

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kirinm · 28/01/2020 09:02

I've had an ectopic and multiple miscarriages. I managed to get pregnant when I was 39. I don't think being pregnant can ever be quite as you expect once you've had losses because there is always extreme paranoia but, you can most certainly go into have a successful pregnancy. You've still got what, 3/4 months to get pregnant if you are desperately wanting a baby this year. It may or may not happen quickly but there's no reason it can't happen. Good luck.

Original poster
Bananaloaf88 · 28/01/2020 09:33

@kirinm i'm trying to move passed having a baby this year. It is something I want but I also know that putting that pressure on myself is a recipe for disaster emotionally if it doesn't happen.

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