Help me! TTC for 11 months and I'm so depressed!

[MummyT13]

Hey All,

I'm having the worst month! I've been TTC for 11 months with 2 chemical pregnancies along the way. I am a POAS addict now and TTC consumes my life. This month I have no symptoms what so ever.. unusually I find symptoms because I want it so bad and this month I don't even have pms symptoms!! I feel like I'm getting so depressed! I cry every time I get a BFN! I'm hoping there is someone out there that has been through this because I've tried everything to increase my fertility and nothing has happened! Help me please. X

Haven’t you been to the GP yet?

@peachypetite I went last month and they done blood tests and said they were "normal" but they said they can't do anything else until 18 months of trying x

That sucks. I cried this morning after getting a negative and my period has kicked in. I don’t know what to suggest it does take over your life. I’m looking into getting the clear blue ovulation tests for next month.

@peachypetite I've already got them and used them for 7 months now. They are good because they match up with what my CM is telling me. I'm 9dpo today and I'm already heartbroken. I have no symptoms so I know this month isn't my month (AGAIN) when I had my chemicals I had every symptom going.. this month I have nothing other than depression x

Have you:

• used pro-fertility lube?
• started your DP on conception vitamins for men, as well as taking the women's version yourself?
• totally cut out caffeine?
• stopped wearing perfume?
• prevented DP from heating his balls too much (no saunas, hot tubs, long hot baths, no resting laptop on lap, no tight underwear or tight trousers)?

These are just things I think work from stuff I've read online and anecdata, but they can't hurt.

@BecauseReasons

Hi :)

• used pro-fertility lube? - I have used PRESEED for the past 4 months.

• started your DP on conception vitamins for men, as well as taking the women's version yourself? We take pregnacare his and hers and I make sure he takes them lol!

• totally cut out caffeine? I've never drunk coffee, just coke but stopped that last month.

• stopped wearing perfume? I love perfume?? Does that make a difference.

• prevented DP from heating his balls too much (no saunas, hot tubs, long hot baths, no resting laptop on lap, no tight underwear or tight trousers)? I will speak to him about this one.

Thank you :)

I love perfume?? Does that make a difference.

I did read something about it ages ago when I was TTC the first time around. Here it is:

www.google.com/amp/s/www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-5028903/amp/Couple-spent-7-years-trying-20-000-IVF-son.html

It is the Daily Mail, so not the best source but if you Google around it there do seem to be fertility experts that advocate giving it up. Could be worth a shot?

The ball heating one is backed up by science- the testicles are supposed to be cooler than the body, which is why they hang outside it. If they're too hot it's bad for the sperm production- heat them enough and it can reduce the number of normal sperm produced to a low enough number that it can have a big impact on fertility. It takes about two months to make sperm, so if he's been heating them too much and it's causing a problem, you might not see improvements until a couple of months after he's stopped doing it.

Relaxing is the best advice I can give you. If you are stressing about it, you will not conceive. I gave up after TTC for a year. One spontaneous night and 3 weeks after, I was pregnant. Make sure you both are relaxed and make love out of it. Love is the key, not techniques, ways or theories. Make a date out it, surprise each other, eat chocolates and feel sexy about yourself.

Thanks @BecauseReasons & @Ojk90 for all your help! I know I need to relax. I feel so positive for the first 2 weeks and the right up until around 7/9dpo and then the stress sets in and the obsessive testing etc x

When you feel positive, that the time to do it. When you are stress, you don't want to do it anyway.

And I am happy to give good advice. @MummyT13

I know how you feel. We started TTC in December 2018. Fell pregnant straight away but it was a chemical. Each month after, I obsessively symptom spotted, used OPKs, didn’t use OPKs, took supplements, forced DH to take supplements and drink special tea, tried SMEP... Nothing. Not even a hint of a BFP.

Cycle 13: used OPKs, and DTD four days in a row over fertile period. I got my BFP. I’m now 6+3 and praying it sticks.

🤞 for you.

@Ojk90 Thank you :) I'm trying to remain positive! My OH just asked me how I feel and I just said "can't wait until next month" 

@BeingATwatItsABingThing Congratulations! I think I was reading a thread not that long ago with you on it. Was there anything you done differently or did it just happen?

Thank you. Yeah, you probably did. I’m a regular on the Conception board. I started taking Feroglobin capsules (iron, folic acid and vitamin B12). That was the only real difference that month.

@MummyT13 pregnacare vitamins and folic acid from the doctors are very helpful as well

Hopefully it happens for me soon! It feels like forever that we've been trying now. And I hate waiting for my fertile period! I'd rather just skip the period 😂

You prob already take it but primrose oil can help promote a good Mucas supply in your vagina to help the sperm get to their goal location ...( only take from first day of period up to ovulation and stop when ovulation is happening )

Drinking Robitussin before you ovulate will make you more fertile. The theory is that guaifenesin, the expectorant ingredient in Robitussin, will help thin your cervical mucus in the same way it thins the mucus in your lungs, making it easier for the sperm to swim through your cervix and reach the egg.

Anyhow I did that and my cousin told me about it she has 2 kids I have one now so could have helped

Every little helps as they say x

@Ojk90 I've been taking them for the past couple of months now. I tried the Bud ones before that but nothing was happening and they made me really tired all the time. I've felt better on pregnacare though. I also take iron tablets on top because i get anaemic.

Question for all of you though? When you bleed a lot during your period does it mean that you have a thick cervix? Easy to burrow into? X

@Newmumma83 Thanks hun! I'm willing to give anything a try. Never heard of that before so will have to give it a go 🙃

How often do you DTD? Some say every day and some every other day. Because of this around ovulation we would do 2 days, then a day break, then another 2 days.
Good luck! 💐

Hey , I can’t offer much more advise than what has already been given already but honestly the only thing I can really rave about is don’t track . If you’ve been tracking for the last 7 months with CB and you know it matches your CM then it’s clear you’re ovulating etc and your bloods are normal , so don’t have sex when you’re ‘most fertile’ as it’s so much stress you don’t need . Have date nights together if you can, have sex every 2-3 days from the day your period finishes to the day your period arrives (or hopefully doesn’t arrive). That’s what we did, as well as DH taking the vitamins with me and drinking a load of water as the Dr told me it helps produce more cervical mucus, and I got pregnant that month where we just stopped tracking and had sex as and when we could! And the week I conceived is the week we literally had sex once 5 days before I was predicted to ovulate, and I’m sure it was the relaxed approach that did it . Hope that helps - also To answer your question , I have very heavy periods so not sure if that’s a good thing or not , it didn’t seem to prevent anything burrowing for me . All the best xxxx

When we were struggling to conceive, I looked at the stats. Half of those who don't conceive naturally during the first year of trying do during the second. And that's without any medical assistance. So while I know it's frustrating for you, there's definitely still plenty of hope.

Well, I remember that I use to bleed alot during ttc but I think it to do with cleaning the cervix for you to try again ( that was a hard thing to write) I really hope you have your baby soon. I have every hope for you.

Are you having sex throughout the whole month, or trying to time it to ovulation and having sex every day over your fertile week?

I say this because I tried the latter and it didn't work for me, but this month we DTD every second day throughout the whole month and conceived. There's such thing as too much sex, and if your partner happens to have a slightly low sperm count every other day is better. It really is a quality over quantity thing. The NHS advice is every 2-3 days throughout the whole month. The other benefit is you don't need to stress and worry about tracking ovulation - you know you'll have covered your bases and whenever you ovulate you will have caught it. Best of luck to you ❤