Will it ever happen? Ttc buddies wanted!

[Wilsonicus]

Hey lovely people!

Does anyone else get bogged down with just wondering if it'll actually ever happen? I'm just being a mope right now, but it would be nice to have some friends in the same situation to talk to and commiserate with.

My husband and I have been ttc since just before we got married 4 years ago. I had the implant taken out and it took over a year for things to get back to normal. Then, boom, aunt flo goes awol. After a few months of trying to get doctors to take us seriously, we finally got hooked up with an excellent fertility doc, who explains that I've got pcos, endometriosis and a huuuuge cyst on one of my ovaries, which eventually got removed about 2 years ago. I also had to get my gallbladder taken out last August, so I get that it's been a rough time for my body, but geez, 4 years is so long.

I've pretty much given up hope that it will ever happen. I can't even picture those two magic lines on a pregnancy test, because it seems so far fetched. Our next fertility clinic appointment is June, and they'll be referring us to ivf if we haven't conceived yet.

I'm just... sad. What was once such an exciting journey is pretty much a sucky ball of suckitude most of the time. So tell me your woes, and your success stories. And have a hug on me!

I can't relate since I'm only on cycle 2 and haven't experienced half of the stuff you have but I also just can't imagine a positive. I can't explain why but I've always had a weird feeling that I can't have children. I've got absolutely no reason to suspect. I'm 25, healthy, have had super regular periods before going on the pill (currently on CD4 of my first official post pill cycle after first AF on Friday) but for some reason stupid stuff goes through your head.
Just thought I'd comment since i didn't want to scroll past.

I've been trying for just over a year now and feel the same way, so I can only imagine how difficult it is for you.

I literally cannot picture a positive test. It's like I've had so many negative now that it will be a proper shock when it does finally happen.

I'm sorry I can't offer much advice but felt like you'd appreciate at least someone commiserating with you.

I went to the doctor this week and have just started tha ball rolling on getting blood tests and then a referral to the fertility clinic.

It sounds like you've been through alot. I hope things improve for you soon x

Hi Ladies,

Also setting up in the suckitude camp over here! Have been TTC for 15 months which feels like forever but is nothing in comparison to your 4 years @Wilsonicus.

I absolutely feel like it’s never going to happen and my cycles seem to be all over the place these days like my body is just mocking me.

Sending hugs to everyone

Hi @Wilsonicus
I’m in a similar position in that we have a follow up in June if we haven’t conceived, likely we’ll be referred for ivf at that point. I also find it impossible to imagine what it would be like to get a positive test, let alone being pregnant and having a child, feels like I’ll never be that lucky sometimes. I started seeing a therapist who has a specialism in infertility, I’m hoping it’ll help but ultimately it won’t help me get pregnant so I’m not too sure at the moment- have you thought about seeing anyone to talk it over? It’s hard to find people who understand isn’t it. Xx

Hi all also feeling the kick from ttc. I have been ttc for 16 months, I literally dream about those to lines 🙈. It’s so hard. I can’t even imagine how you feel @Wilsonicus.

Had some investigation and have a blocked tube. Now waiting on a lap.
Every single person around seems to be getting pregnant so I can’t help thinking why not me!

Thanks so much for all your replies, ladies! Its so nice to be able to talk about it with people who are going through it too. my husband is utterly wonderful but I don't think even he understands how insane the baby-wanting is!!

According to my OPK and app(s) (I'm kind of addicted to them now) I'm 1 day post-ovulation, so hopefully we did everything at the right times, but with PCOS you never know. I honestly wish I could shout at my womb and tell it to get its act together! It amazes me that people manage this by accident!

How is everyone feeling today? I'm so sorry that some of you are in the same boat as me. Its a crap boat - we should be allowed to get a new one! I'm seeing a counsellor for a myriad of other things, and it helps a little, but honestly some days the thought of it all is enough to make me weep.

I wish all of you so much health and happiness - hopefully this year is our year!

Bless you @Wilsonicus yes really makes me angry when I see teenage mums out with their makes, and a pram, clearly more interested in hanging out having a fag than looking after their child and yet I can’t get pregnant.

I’m addicted to OPK’s too I was testing 3 times per day with 2 different brands when I got my positives on Sunday!

The TWW is just utter torture every month although I’m so convinced AF will arrive each month that I think I’ll be completely shell shocked when/if I ever get a BFP!!

Sending trucks of baby dust.... he’s to starting 2020 with a full house of BFP’s x

I was where you are 10 years ago. I had been diagnosed with PCOS and was undergoing fertility treatment. I had a laparoscopy and dye test to check my tubes were clear which they were but my ovaries had a thick casing around them which meant that eggs were being released but being reabsorbed before they could be fertilised. The surgeon had to drill holes in the casing to help.
I was tracking my cycles and having blood test on key dates to monitor my levels. DH and I had to have sex on set days to maximise the chances (nothing like a calendar to get you in the mood).
Every day I was taking at least 3 tablets at different times to maximise my fertility and then on certain days I was taking extras. I think the most I ever took was 6 (all at different times so I had to set alarms to remind me). Every month AF arrived and I would get so down. I averaged a 33-35 day cycle and one month my period was late. I was so hopeful but it wasn't. I was devastated. It very nearly broke me and DH.
We tried doing it at the 'wrong' time just so it wasn't all about babies but it was so heart wrenching and unless someone is going through or has gone through it no one can really relate to you. You feel so lonely.
Then one day in March my boobs suddenly got very sore and I felt 'different'. My period wasn't due for a day or two but I did a test as I figured it would show negative and then I could out it to the back of my kind. To my utter shock it was positive.

He is now a strapping 9 year old. It does happen even though at the time I honestly didn't think it would.

It is so hard. Stay strong

Hey! I’m on cycle 16 atm but have a feeling will be entering cycle 17 in the next few days :( tested today 10dpo totally negative so have kind of given up this month.

It’s fucking horrible to put it simply, it’s weird isn’t it. You feel like there’s just no chance of seeing those two lines ever

And the test addictions!! I took 12 yesterday. 12 tests 🤦🏻‍♀️

Hello all. Hope you are all holding up. Thank you for your story @DobbyLovesSocks I needed to read that. I’m on cycle 16 and af due in a few days. Which I know it will because all the tell tale signs that a get just after a week after ovulation. Spot on the chin (same place every frigging month) my boobs seem to get LESS tender just to proper show me that we have no chance, and even my cm is exactly the fuffing same every cycle. It’s so annoying to not even get a hint of a bfp. I’m slowly losing hope.

Feeling pretty shitty today so sorry to bring the board down. This constant disappointment can be soul crushing.

Hey guys, TTC is a whole lot of suckitude.

@wilsonicus I can't imagine what you've been through TTC for 4 years. I came off the pill last February. My cycles were all over the shop.

Fell pregnant in July but unfortunately it ended at 7 weeks. Then feel pregnant again in November which resulted in an ectopic and the removal of my right tube. I haven't been trying long but after what I have been through I can imagine we share similar feelings.

I just feel like it is never going to fully happen for me now without ending in heartbreak.

Hold in there, hopefully it will come around for us all. Because we have conceived in the past year I don't even know what my options are now regarding fertility treatment as the 12 month rule won't apply... Left in limbo