Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Am I too old to try for another baby???

26 replies

MissCuntyChops · 09/01/2020 22:22

I personally don't think I am...I'm 35 in a couple of months and I already have 2 children 7 and 12....when I have told friends, family and colleagues that me and DH are TTC I have been getting "ohhh at your age" or "well dont you think it's too much of an age gap between oldest and a baby to have another"
We were really positive about adding to our family but now I'm starting to feel a bit silly and that people have come across a bit negative. Some keep saying "well at your age it might be impossible to have another so dont get your hopes up" which I found rather rude tbh as I'd never dream of saying any of those things to a couple TTC I'd be supportive.

OP posts:
lucymagoo · 09/01/2020 22:24

Ignore the idiots, you are far from "too old". I'm nearly 30 and no one I know has any kids yet, 35 is a perfectly good age to start or add to a family

AnneLovesGilbert · 09/01/2020 22:24

Loads of women have their first at 35 or older. I’m sure you know that.

The age gap is quite big but it’s your family and you know if it’ll work.

Why are you telling anyone you’re ttc? It never occurred to me to tell friends, family or colleagues we were having unprotected sex.

ClappyFlappy · 09/01/2020 22:25

35? No.

While fertility does decline over the age of 35 it’s by no means “impossible” for many women to have a baby past that age. I was 35 when I had my youngest and know tons of women who had babies well into their late 30s and also into their 40s. If you were 45 I’d say you were probably too old but not 35!

nearlyfinished1moreyear · 09/01/2020 22:25

People are so rude. I know ladies that had their kids in late 30s and 40s. Your definitely not too old!

Rldx2 · 09/01/2020 22:26

I am one of 3, the middle one! my brother is 8 years older than me and my sister is 5 years younger, meaning they have 13years between them and we all get on really well (I'm now 30) we always have, I wouldn't let that put you off at all! Also my auntie had her 3rd baby at 41 and they're all doing just fine too! Don't let anyone else cloud you're feelings of wanting a baby ☺️

Queenest · 09/01/2020 22:28

I think only you will know what is too old for you. It doesn’t matter what other people think.

StripyTShirt · 09/01/2020 22:29

People are so rude! I had my first at 23 then had DS at 34, 11 year age gap! Good luck and ignore them Angry

MouseClogs · 09/01/2020 22:29

At your age it might be impossible?! The % chance of natural conception within a year at 35 is in the 80s, and is 90% for two years of trying.

Female fertility doesn't even start to decline to a significant extent from its mid-twenties peak until around 32, and the big dip is usually in the late 30s (a majority of women can still conceive naturally within a couple of years after this dip, it's just less likely, and takes longer).

But at 35, assuming no fertility-affecting conditions, the odds are very much on your side.

danadas · 09/01/2020 22:30

I am 36 and mine are 17, 15 and 6. I love the big age gap, in the early days the older ones would be at school and I would have one to one time with the baby/toddler and as they are growing up it is like he has a whole host of parents.

I haven't ruled out number 4 (nature dependant) and there would be at least a 7 year gap if I did.

MouseClogs · 09/01/2020 22:30

Also, the average woman giving birth is now over 30 anyway. The idea that 35 is somehow too late really is just laughable!

Original poster
MissCuntyChops · 09/01/2020 22:33

@AnneLovesGilbert it's come up in conversation at times about people that are pregnant or wanting kids and during discussions we have said that we are hoping to have another child. It isn't talked about with strangers only people close to me that I see all the time, plus some were asking why I was not wanting to go out on boozy nights etc. We always have talked about who is wanting kids etc.

OP posts:
LittleFoote · 09/01/2020 22:34

Just had my first, at 36. Planning another in a year or two, so I'll be 38ish! Didn't have any issue conceiving or with the pregnancy or age related issues with the birth.

My mum had my sibling when she was 40, with a 16 year age gap between us. Me and sibling are very close.

Ignore the fools!!

Antihop · 09/01/2020 22:35

I conceived my dd at 36. Conceived on 2nd cycle.

MarinaMarinara · 09/01/2020 22:37

Now, while I am not for one moment saying it’s wrong for you to share that you’re TTC (that is obviously totally up to you to decide who to share it with) this sort of “helpful” commentary is one of the major reasons I have never told family and friends when we have been TTC. As soon as anyone shares it seems to invite unwanted comments and opinions. which in this case also sound a bit rubbish. FWIW I think telling colleagues may be a bit unwise in any circumstances.

stophuggingme · 09/01/2020 22:37

I had three babies between 39 and 42
You are not too old.

Original poster
MissCuntyChops · 09/01/2020 22:38

@MouseClogs every one I'm close to had their last child no older than 30, I mean yes I know there is a biological clock as they say and chances get less but I never thought that 35 was a major age until they all sounded so negative about it. Obviously we will do what we want for our family, I guess it's just a but crappy hearing so much negativity from people close to us. DH has point blank said ignore them and I know he's right

OP posts:
flissity · 09/01/2020 22:40

No of course you aren’t too old! If you are then so am I ! And I’m pregnant with 3rd. I’ll be 37 when it’s born. I have 8 and 10yr olds DDs.

I didn’t tell people we were ttc though as I wouldn’t be able to stand the pressure and I like our privacy. Tbh no one has bat an eyelid about my age, it’s so common these days. Crack on!

Original poster
MissCuntyChops · 09/01/2020 22:41

@MarinaMarinara yes I get what you mean by that, I think I got too giddy about the idea and let it all out on a girls day out. It got brought up at work as about 5 women have just had babies and I said how broody it made me feel and that I'd love to have a baby again by end of 2020...I should have kept my mouth shut but I'm not one to think all the time before speaking lol. I will be keeping my mouth shut about it in future until (hopefully we conceive and have the 12 week scan )

OP posts:
Original poster
MissCuntyChops · 09/01/2020 22:43

It's nice to hear about women having children from mid 30s. All my friends and family etc all stopped having kids at 30 so I genuinely don't know any women my age or older that have had more babies.

OP posts:
wintertime6 · 09/01/2020 22:48

That's ridiculous, I had my first child when I was 36.

firsttimemummyd · 09/01/2020 22:48

What an ignorant thing to say! I'm 38 and due my first baby in April. I have had a really successful career to date and chose to wait until I was ready. I also might try for another in 18-24 months. There's 11 years between myself and older sister and that has never been an issue. You do what is right for you and your family. Ignore everyone's opinion on something that is none of their business.

LuluJakey1 · 09/01/2020 22:52

I was 35 when I had DS1, I have had DD and DS2 since then. Am now 40. So no you are not too old at all.

Deadsouls · 09/01/2020 22:55

No I got pregnant with my 2nd at 35

ConstanceL · 09/01/2020 23:03

Where I am (SW London) I was the youngest in our nct class and I was 38! Agree with a pp though - why tell people you are ttc? Once you are pregnant and announce it, no one will probably even bat an eyelid :)

Ylladyoll · 10/01/2020 00:04

I'm nearly 44 and hoping to conceive so wish I was 35 lol xx odds are a little against me 50/50 at best xx

Swipe left for the next trending thread