Opposite to Bella123 - to baby or not to baby?

[sjmilly]

I've been broody for as long as I can remember and finally this spring everything looked perfect - I came off the pill etc. two months later I thought I was pg and the day I bought a test dh came home early and wanted to know why I hadn't made the most of the weather and mowed the lawn.. WTF?

So we talked about it and he realised he really ought to start doing more around the house - we both work full time but I do everything at home, while he messes on his laptop til 1 am. So now he is trying sooo hard, doing almost a whole half of the housework, and trying to be so supportive to anything I want to do, but it's just not enough. I know it won't last though, and if we have this problem even before dc's??

I went straight back on pill out of pure fear after the lawn mowing conversation... but have no idea what I really want. I've wanted dc's for so long, can I really believe that now I don't want them at all? Or do I just not want them with dh?? How can I trust him to support me?

Think you do want them, jus scared you'll end up doing even more at home than you do now. If he wants them too he'll have to agree to support you more; pregnancy is emotional and exhausting and he'll need to be there for you, let you rest etc. My df is similar in that he won't automatically do anything to help, he has to be told constantly which makes me seem a nag! But so be it. I'm not superwoman and refuse to do everything while he sits and reads the paper! He admits he needs to be told what to do to help ie. start bathing the kids while I wash up or vice versa. Parenthood should be a partnership, especially if you both have to work. Think men all quite similar sometimes! But don't let worries bout future stop you having kids if you've wanted them so long - he may surprise you and be really hands on!

Thanks chankins, I guess I just need a reality check. My stock answer in interviews about 'what are my weaknesses' always used to be that I insist on doing everything myself cos I'm so bad at delegating! I've solved that one at work now, so maybe I just need to apply it at home too.
I'll start nagging a bit more and see what response I get. He still seems to expect a gold star everytime he does the dishes at the mo though... I just want to be happy with this before being pg, but as you say, how can I guess how he will react then - he could just surprise me!