Emotional and confused

[Newtorhis]

Have just found out that I am almost 8 weeks pregnant. I came off the pill in the summer and to be honest did not expect it to happen this quickly. I have never been a maternal person and never feel broody around babies, but decided to start trying as people I know have struggled to conceive (my own parents took five years to conceive their first child) and so even though I wasn't feeling completely ready for a family, know that conception can take time and so thought it's time to bite the bullet. I also felt that although I wasnt immediately ready, I would regret not having kids if I left it too late.

Now that I am pregnant I am feeling totally confused and have cried a lot, but most worryingly I don't feel excited at all. It's been less than a week since I found out so hopefully my feelings will change to excitement soon, but hoping there may be some.other people out there who have experienced these feelings.

I have been drinking alcohol and not been taking supplements before finding out i was pregnant which when paired with the fact I've never felt maternal makes me feel totally irresponsible and concerned about what's ahead of me.

My husband is excited but I feel like im bringing him down with my moping and crying (He's always been more of a kids person than me so is already comfortable with our situation)

Not sure if anyone can help but writing it down is at least helping me to process ! Xxx

Hey @Newtorhis

Sorry you feel this way 😔 I don't know if Mumsnet could move this to the pregnancy board for you? You may get some better support or advice there as I don't think many people on this board will be pregnant yet. You may have some good advice from people trying to conceive their second etc here though.

It must be a huge shock at the moment so give yourself time to process without feeling any pressure - you're allowed to feel how you do 💕

Writing it down will certainly help so feel free to vent away! X

Thank you for your kind words @HalfPenny28 . You're right,this prbably isn't an appropriate place for this question. Will delete and move to the right place. Thank you again for replying to me xxx

I get the not being maternal thing- I never was, was never sure I wanted kids and really didn't want a baby... would have fast tracked to a 4yo if I could! We agreed to ttc as i knew long term i wanted kids even if i had to 'get through' the early years.
But then I lost my first pregnancy and luckily got pregnant soon after. She's now 15 mo and is incredible, and after experiencing the loss it made me realise how much i wanted a child. I still don't care about anyone else's kids much tbh, and it's been Bloody hard this year (she had health issues) but she amazes me every day. I never realised how soon they start to show understanding and become little people.
Dont be too hard on yourself.... your hormones are going crazy right now and will amplify any doubts or concerns you have. It's totally normal to feel scared, unprepared and not sure if you are up to the task which will take away a lot of the positive feelings you might otherwise have. Doesnt make you a bad mum- the opposite in fact as you've recognised the feelings and are reaching out on here for help. Best thing is to start looking after both of you now- that includes mentally as well as physically. Your midwife or hospital will have a pregnancy mental health specialist (prenatal depression is a real thing) if you find your feelings don't change as you go along and want some additional advice or support.

@Newtorhis oh it's absolutely not a problem, just want to make sure you get the best responses.

I think @Sammyclaire22 right. I don't think anyone is truly prepared to find out they're pregnant! And everyone (I imagine) has that moment of worry and panic because it's new and scary.

But trust your gut, and give yourself time xxx

Thank you so so much for replying @HalfPenny28 @Sammyclaire22. Your responses have been a huge help and I am already feeling more positive. I was perhaps having a particularly emotional day I think!!! We're planning on telling parents and my sister next week once we've had a midwife appointment and feel like that will bring me even more positivity to see how happy they are for us. I know how very lucky we are to have conceived a baby and day by day feel myself getting more comfortable (maybe even a little excited) with what's ahead :) thank you again. X

I know quite a few people who had a bit of a shock when it happened quickly after coming off contraception as they were prepared for it to take a while so I don’t think you’ll be alone. Don’t get yourself down about it, you’ve got 7 months to mentally prepare. Also my cousin had a baby recently unexpectedly and said she wasn’t maternal at all. She’s now probably the most maternal person I know and can’t be without her baby for more than a few hours so things definitely do change!

Thank you @Banoffeepie91 xxx