TTC and might need help but scared of multiples

[SeahorseWilderness]

We’ve been TTC for 17 months, we have one DD who is 5...I wonder if anyone is in the same boat. We both desperately want another child but I’m really scared of twins or triplets with any fertility treatment. We didn’t start trying to conceive till our daughter turned four because we really wanted a longish gap. It suits our parenting style and our lifestyle. I’m actually really torn because I would absolutely love another child but if it was a choice between having our daughter and twins or never conceiving again I would choose never conceiving again. So what do we do? It seems we might need help conceiving but is all help hormonal and with risk of multiples? Is there any treatment that one of you lovely mumsnetters might be aware of that doesn’t carry this risk?

I really hope this doesn’t offend anyone, I know many wonderful mums that have multiples but I also know it’s not what I would choose. If it happened naturally I’m sure I’d learn to love it but I feel it would be reckless for me to take a fertility drug that increased my chances ten-fold....

Currently having IVF. Only had one embryo put back. Risk of multiples is only very slightly higher than a normal conception. It's not for the faint hearted though, and if youre worrying about twins on top of the rest of the worry then possibly this path isn't right for you

Thank you for replying @Mseddy, good luck in your IVF journey. I think if it was my first baby we would definitely do IVF but having one already I wonder how it will impact us as a family emotionally ....perhaps our best plan is to continue trying naturally and just see what happens...I was thinking of acupuncture as well but not sure if it makes any difference

I think that's a good consideration. I've not even gotten pregnant yet and I've already told my husband if it works I'm not going through it again for a sibling. I couldn't imagine this journey and this pain while looking after a child too. I hope everything works out for you

Hi @mseddy, I've been looking at eSET, single transfer of an egg, is that the procedure you had? I would be very interested in hearing more please as this does seem perfect for us, apparently the risk of multiples is no different to natural conception...I'm 35 I wonder if they will do it? I've read in some articles it is most suitable for women under 35.. thank you so much for any advice, this is a difficult time and there are lots of questions and mixed feelings for me, so sorry if my original post comes across as 'floaty'...We do badly want another child and I spend some days thinking let's just do it even if triplets, and other days thinking it's all hopeless as there is no chance of us being happy in any scenario...so the fact that there is an option like single transfer gives me so much hope, we are right at the beginning of our journey investigating IVF so I apologise for my lack of knowledge. We are in London, can I please ask which clinic you are using?

They never called it that specifically but yes that's what I've had. Single fresh embryo transfer following IVF. They only put 2 back in older women or if continued failure of IVF. Clinics advocate for only one embryo because they have to prove to HEFA (the governing body for fertility treatment) that they are keeping their multiple pregnancy rate low as multiples come with risks. If you went into any fertility clinic in the country and and said I want to take all possible precautions to ensure its only a Singleton pregnancy they will be really happy with that. It's often a fight in the other direction. For example I'm 90% sure this cycle has failed, so our next cycle I'll be fighting for a double embryo transfer, and I'll have to put up a good fight to get them to do it.
You don't sound floaty dont worry. Infertility bloody sucks wether it's primary or secondary. It's such a hard journey!

Thanks @Mseddy I really hope your IVF cycle works this time🤞🤞🤞I appreciate all your advice on this. Infertility is a lonely journey, it’s so helpful to hear from others on forums like this, the best of luck to you xxx

It didn't. But thanks. Good luck with your journey