Making plans when TTC

[Rhubarbe]

How do others who have been TTC for some time deal with plans/arrangements a few months into the future?
TTC isn’t going as straightforward for us as we might have hoped. Every time we’re invited to something I try to stop myself thinking ‘well I might be pregnant by then’ as when it then rolls around it’s getting to be quite painful. I don’t want to stop saying yes to things (think cycle sportives, 10k, that kind of thing) on the off chance that I might have fallen pregnant by then, but some days it feels like it might be easier that way as then at least it wouldn’t be a reminder of how many months we’ve been getting our hopes up.
Just wondered what others have been doing.

Just say yes to everything and live your life as you would it you weren’t TTC

Honestly, unless you’re paying for bungee jumping or drugs trying courses then actually being pregnant doesn’t limit you loads. And if you had to cancel any plans for being pregnant, I bet you’d do it willingly.

The stress won’t be helping so just relax, live your life and loads of luck with conception

I agree, carry on with life. Say yes to everything. You just can't plan for when it'll happen.

It’s not so much planning for when it will happen/thinking it will limit things, more just the unhappy reminders as yet another event comes. Wonder if it might be easier to just not have so many things in the diary.
Thanks for the advice though. I think I’m just a bit melancholy this evening.

@Rhubarbe I know how you feel-several events have passed now where I naively thought at the start of this year 'I'll definitely be pregnant by then'. Trying to adjust my expectations or just have none. I would carry on as normal, then it'll be a nice surprise when you do get pregnant which I'm sure you will.

I know exactly how you feel OP. I very nearly didn't bother trying to get tickets to Glastonbury 2020 incase I'm pregnant but I just thought go for it, if Im pregnant I'll enjoy without all the cider and if Im not then I'll enjoy it with all the cider I'm also a wedding photographer and I have shoots booked for next summer, if I had not booked those weddings on the chance I might be pregnant I'd have no money to pay bills lol and if I do fall pregnant in the mean time, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. xx

I know what you mean OP, I thought I'd be pregnant by last Christmas and I'm still not pregnant for this one!

I almost didn't book our family holiday this summer or a concert for a band I love but you just have to keep keeping on I think.

Hopefully it will happen soon for both of us

@sabtom Our wedding photographer was heavily pregnant and she did a great job!

Hi Rhubarbe,

Dont put your life on hold with the hope of becoming pregnant because effectively you are putting the focus on this one thing and building it up in your minds, and it puts pressure on you and DP and is very disappointing when it doesn't happen. Go live your life, be happy don't pause your life, being happy, positive and stress free will increase chances of pregnancy.

I didn't conceive for 7 yrs. It's only when I gave up and started trying to progress at work, going on holidays and doing what I wanted to do that I finally got pregnant. Before that I didn't really apply myself at work because I thought I need a stable but easy role that I'm good at so I won't struggle in pregnancy and I can come back to easily after mat leave, also I didnt want to move jobs as I lived around the corner and again thought would be easier when I had kids, also I didnt want to change job, get pregnant and not be eligible for mat pay. I stuck with a boring job with no progression and even turned down promotions....silly me. I went on like that for 7yrs and it gave me so much stress and I was sabotaging myself.

Anyway there is light at the end of the tunnel and I now have 2 beautiful boys good luck to you. Stay happy and do the things you love.