When to see a doctor, possibly stopped ovulating...

[Moominmiss]

Right, so I’m 37 years old, and have 3 children already, aged 9, 7, and 5.

My ex (their dad) and I separated a few years ago and i since met and have been with my current partner for 2 years.

He is 29 and has no children of his own. He’s amazing with my children and we would love to be able to have one of our own.

I had been on the pill since the birth of my youngest, I stopped taking it at the end of August’s cycle so from 27th August we’ve officially been ttc.

I knew my cycles could be a bit out of whack after coming off the pill and my first cycle was 36 days long, I had what I thought was ovulation pains and ewcm. Then after the 36 days I got af. Then my next cycle was 30 days long, which is like normal for me. However during that cycle I don’t recall getting any ewcm or ovulation pains. I’m currently on cd16 and one of my fertility apps puts my expected ovulation day at day 19 (I’m guessing my long cycle has thrown it), and the other app says I ovulated on day 14. I don’t take my bbt, or take ovulation tests.
This will be my next step. But I hadn’t wanted to get too drawn into it, I wanted it to happen when it happened and not get caught up worrying.
I was perfectly accepting of the fact it might take me a lot longer to conceive this time around, being older etc, but now with the lack of ovulation symptoms I’m beginning to panic it could actually be a sign I’m perhaps going through perimenopause.
I should add that I know there isn’t a problem with my partner as I fell pregnant very early on into our relationship, although I miscarried early on.
My question is at what point would you consider seeing a doctor to find out if I am in fact ovulating or not. And would they even take me seriously being older and already having children if my own. I feel they might see it as me being greedy.
Feeling kind of deflated right now. My partner is so supportive but I’m not sure how much he grasps that there’s a very real possibility that it may never happen for us

@Moominmiss hi lovely thought I would respond as I'm in a very similar situation (albeit 6 years older!) I already have 3 children, 18, 12 and 11 with my ex and have been with my new partner for 16 months. He is 26 and has no children. We fell pregnant by accident in feb and ended up having a termination as we really felt it was too soon. We fell again in September by pure accident and miscarried at 7 weeks. We are now actively trying and like you my initial thought was to just DTD regularly and hopefully fall but because of my age (43) I thought it would probably be best if I tracked bbt and ovulation in order to give us the best chance. It is quite stressful having to actively think about it every day and input test results etc but I do feel better knowing that we are almost certainly DTD at the right time and seeing the spike in temperature this week was really reassuring knowing that I actually ovulated. Im currently in the 2 week wait, af due on 23rd and I'm trying seed cycling which is pretty straight forward and is supposed to boost progesterone levels in luteal phase. It may not happen for us again, but we are hopeful, as you should be too! Don't be dismayed, go to the doctor if you want to have some tests done. I ordered a home egg reserve testing kit but have been too nervous to do it, think I'd rather not know quite yet if I have very few eggs left! Anyway, stay positive, it can and will happen I'm sure! X

@Mystie thank you so so much for your reply.
It’s really good to hear from someone in a similar situation. It’s hard sometimes not to dwell on all the what if’s and negatives.
I’m So sorry for your loss. In all honesty, we would have likely chosen to terminate the pregnancy we had early on, as we really were only a couple of months into being together, but we never got as far as visiting a doctor or anything anyway.
I really don’t think I can trust myself to accurately track my bbt every day, so I think I might order some ovulation tests and start with those and at least see if I see anything that looks promising on those.
I keep telling myself that I’ve only been off the pill since September so not long and my body could still be settling down, but I can’t help comparing to the times I was ttc with my ex and fell pregnant within 3 months each time I stopped the pill.
I so wanted to be really relaxed about things, I wanted to just carry on dtd when we wanted, which tbh is pretty much every other day anyway. But it’s so difficult to ignore ovulation symptoms, or the lack of them!
What is seed cycling? I’ve not heard of it?
Oooh where did you buy your home egg reserve testing kit? I think I’d be like you though, and really nervous to see the results!
Wishing you all the luck and hoping that af stays away for you!
Thank you again for replying xx

@Moominmiss no worries at all! It's really nice to chat to someone going through something so similar, especially as we both have younger partners and 3 kids! I know what you mean about being frustrated at not falling straight away, it happened pretty much straight away or by accident (my daughter was conceived when my middle son was 9 weeks old 😳)

I know what you mean about tracking BBT it isn't easy and I've not been sleeping very well knowing that I have to wake up at the same time every day and not move until I've taken it! The ovulation tests are really useful, I started with the clear blue advanced digital but didn't get on with it, seeing flashing smiley faces every day was driving me mad. Moved over to cheapie tests where you can see the line and starting using the app Premom which allows you to take a photo and have the test read so you get a much clearer idea of when you are peaking than just relying on eyesight. I'll upload a pic so you can see.

Seed cycling recommends you eat a tablespoon of sunflower and sesame seeds (preferably ground to activate) per day in luteal phase to promote progesterone production and pumpkin seeds and flax in the follicular phase to promote oestrogen production. I think quite a few women suffer from low progesterone (especially when older) so hoping it will help.

I ordered the AMH kit from lets get checked.com but it's still sitting on my bedside table. Might use it in a few months if were still struggling x

@Moominmiss also forgot to mention I bought an Ava bracelet which you wear every night. It tracks 5 different variables to give you an accurate prediction for ovulation without having to do any testing so might work for you if you'd rather not think about it. I've only started using in this cycle and does need a few cycles supposedly to get in sync with your cycle and it's £250 so is an investment

@Mystie I certainly wasn’t expecting someone to reply that’s in a near identical situation! It’s really nice to hear from someone that really has an idea of what I’m going through, and while I wouldn’t ever wish any form of ttc struggles on anyone else, it is reassuring to know I’m not alone.

Wow, conceiving whilst you had a 9 week old!! I thought conceiving whilst one of mine was 9 months old was crazy enough lol.

Yeah that’s just it, with tracking BBT I just know I wouldn’t be able to guarantee doing it the same time each day. I usually get up a few times during the night for the loo, and what with that and my youngest usually waking me up to let me know if she’s got up to use the toilet during the night, it’s never usually a really rested sleep!

I think I will try the ovulation sticks though, am I right in thinking the line needs to be as dark or darker than control line to indicate ovulation?

I like the look of that app you use! I’ve never been great at reading the lines and being able to tell if it’s darker etc so having that app would be a great help.

The seeds sound pretty good. I’d love to make sure my body is in the best shape it can be to be able to get pregnant. I currently just take folic acid. I know I’m overweight at the moment too so I’m working on shedding the bit I need to lose.

I’ve read about the Ava bracelet. They look amazing, I’d love to invest in one but I just can’t afford it at the moment with Christmas around the corner. I think if by the new year we’re still struggling I may speak to my partner and see what he thinks. I’m sure he’d be all up for it, he’s so excited about the prospect.

@Moominmiss that's so nice that your partner is excited, mine is too! I try not to talk too much about all the technical stuff with him I'm really conscious I don't want it to become all we talk about. If I were you I wouldn't bother with the Ava bracelet until you've tried the opks. In hindsight it could proof to be a waste of £250, although I'm wearing it I've definitely got clear results from the opks and temping in the Premom app so it isn't necessary. I did read that it can be quite useful during pregnancy so hopefully I'll get my money's worth then. The Premom app has a really good Facebook group as well. 15,000 women mainly from the US but loads of positive stories and lots of tips for TTC.

I'm going to try eating pineapple for the next 5 day's as it's meant to be really good around implantation. You have to eat the core though as well as the flesh and before you have any food in the morning so I'm going to whizz it up in the nutrabullet and have it as a smoothie, reckon it will be quite refreshing!