Miscarriage - going crazy worrying it was my fault (alcohol without knowing pregnant )

[Lwp1]

Hi

New here !

Have spent the last few months constantly (hours each day) researching trying to find answers... which I know may not be possible !

Wondering if anyone may have had a similar experience ....

I Had a miscarriage which started on the Wednesday of the relevant week at 6 weeks 1 day Pregnant (from the date of the start of my previous period (.

The miscarriage started with spotting , ) which then turned to heavy bleeding on the Friday .

Miscarriage confirmed on the Sunday - no gestational sac showing on the Scan so they can’t say if it had never formed properly or had just passed by then (the corpus lutem (spelling ?!) was however showing).

I drank alcohol week before (quite a few A’s was on holiday !) and on the Monday (2 drinks and Tuesday (2 drinks ) (still on holiday ) - not knowing I was pregnant .

The earliest date I could have conceived would have been 3 weeks , 5 days prior to the spotting starting (the date of unprotected sex and I understand that it may take hours or days for an egg to be fertilised following that time).

I am literally driving myself crazy not knowing what happened and if it was me that caused it, to the extent I ended up being signed off work and am now in counselling.

Has anyone had any similar experiences ?!

Thank you 😊 xXx

It 100% wasn’t your fault or caused by drinking
Sorry for your loss x

It wasn't your fault.

Drinking alcohol doesn't cause a miscarriage.

If you drink a lot of alcohol during a pregnancy - over the long-term of the pregnancy, months and months - then the baby can have all sorts of issues due to alcohol abuse e.g. FAS.

But drinks whilst on holiday? No. Not your fault.

Absolutely not. This is totally normal, many healthy babies start out like this. I forget the statistic, but 50%+ of conceptions, do not proceed.
Please put it behind you, but you probably should take daily folic.

Hi lwp,

We are in a similar situation, I had a mc around a month ago, I have googled everything possible looking for answers even though I’m totally aware of the statistics and the fact it that stage it was jusy a chance event. To be fair... that doesn’t bring you any peace. To me googling and looking for answers makes me fee “usedful” as if having answers might change things. I have become totally obsessed with becoming pregnant again to the extend I peed on 6 tests (I know... I have actually lost it)!
Well my main point of this post is you aren’t alone and I guess there’s a grief process to go through with it which we are both following looking for answers!
As said above I’m sure having a couple of drinks (or even a lot) won’t have caused the mc, a lot of people at 6 weeks aren’t even aware they are pregnancy, keep drinking and go on to have a healthy baby.

Hope you are ok.
Message me if you like. I feel like there’s some sort of time line on this and that my friends feel like I should “be over it now” :( so i find myself keeping it all in and crying in bed at night.

It definitely was not your fault.

I also suffered a MMC at the end of September and also had a drink before knowing I was pregnant.

I think the majority of ladies who like to have the occasional drink probably do so in the first few weeks of pregnancy without knowing.

xx

It absolutely wasn't your fault.

If there was anything that could reliably bring about a miscarriage then there would be no need for TOP clinics

Thank you for your message @NemophilistRebel
xXx

Thank you for your message @NoSquirrels xXx

Thank you for your message @Summery1 xXx

Thank you for your message @Jomum2020

I am so sorry to hear of your loss and how upset you have (understandably ) been.

I don’t think there is a timeline on this type of thing

Ps I will message you separately
xxx

Thank you for your message @ceebee21

I am sorry to hear of your loss and hope you’re doing as okay as can be expected in the circumstances xXx

Thank you for your message @justchecking1 xXx

I was drunk every weekend from conception to finding out with my DS1 and he's bonny 4 yo now! Didn't drink at all with my second and ended in miscarriage. Give yourself a hug and look to the future. I now have DS2 so there's always light around the corner

I'm a bit hazy on the weeks but my 2p would be it couldn't have been the alcohol. I dont think that early on the placenta etc had formed so what you eat or drink isnt being transferred over in blood. That's the whole point of the sac- it helps to support the embryo until blood vessels are grown.

Quick Google and I found this:
Week 8
By the time you’re eight weeks pregnant, the baby is called a foetus, which means ‘offspring’. The legs are lengthening and forming cartilage. The different parts of the leg aren’t properly distinct yet — it will be a bit longer before the knees, ankles, thighs and toes develop. The foetus is still inside its amniotic sac, and the placenta is continuing to develop, forming structures called chorionic villi that help attach the placenta to the wall of the womb. At this stage, the foetus still gets its nourishment from the yolk sac

I hope that it helps to put your mind at ease over any guilt. Big hugs x

100% not your fault!

Foetuses that are just a few weeks old don't have umbilical cords and there is no way that alcohol could affect them.

A huge percentage of early pregnancies end in miscarriage - it's very common. You really shouldn't blame yourself.

Interesting article about why early miscarriage happens here

This 100% wasn't caused by you. I know someone who smoked cracker in early pregnancy and still had x3 healthy babies, whereas I did everything 'right' have had 3 mcs, for context. Pregnancy and life can be very unfair. You can't blame yourself.

Thank you for your message @ceebee21
I am sorry to hear of your loss xXx

@mclover thank you for your message . Thank you . I am just so worried as I didn’t know for quite a few weeks: I am sorry to hear of your loss. Nice to hear of your positive story xXx

Thank you @Sammyclaire22 that’s kind of you: just so worrying with all the different articles out there including ones that say even if you drink around the time of conception risk massively increases and certainly 3 weeks post conception. I guess they really don’t know xXx

@GetRid thank you for your message and for the link to the article xXx

@Sizeofalentil thank you for your kind message. I am sorry to hear of your loss . Hope you’re Doing okay xXx