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Help! Seeing pregnant friend who is due 3 weeks before I would have been

3 replies

SMiles14 · 22/10/2019 10:46

DH and I are going to his hometown (2 hours away from where we live) to visit his family and see a few of his friends. One of these friends is pregnant and announced days before we went for our 12 week scan in July. At the time I was thrilled and couldn't wait to surprise them with a scan picture a few days later. When we went to the scan we were told there was no baby and I had had a MMC, with the foetus not even reaching 8 weeks. It was a huge shock but I have dealt fairly well with it, keeping the hope that we will fall pregnant again, although it is getting harder as each month passes. I think before now (I got my period 3 days ago) I had kept the faith that by the time I saw her I would be pregnant again and therefore be able to cope with seeing her, and her blooming belly, but now that I am not I am struggling with the whole idea of seeing her and keep crying at the thought.

SO, I am in need of positive affirmations, self reasoning, anything that will stop me crying when I see her for the first time on Saturday and stop me stressing about seeing her for the next 5 days. I think I will be ok after the initial 5 minutes, I just need to get myself there and with a happy face!

OP posts:
Bobthefisherghoulswife · 22/10/2019 10:50

Oh bless you, it's not nice to be in this situation. One of my closest friends announced her pregnancy the day I had my 3rd miscarriage. I'm the wrist for advice because I kind of shut down and avoided my friends for a few months.

Have you spoken to your husband about how you're feeling?

Mooey89 · 22/10/2019 10:54

I’m so sorry for your loss Op.
The biggest thing for me is being honest with people - it’s ok if you cry when you see her.
Does she know about your MMC? If not could you tell her before you go?
If she’s your friend she will understand that you can be upset for your loss but happy for her

SMiles14 · 22/10/2019 11:13

Thanks for your replies ladies.

@Bobthefisherghoulswife Bless you, that sounds awful. I have, until now, avoided people but luckily I don't have that many pregnant friends yet. Unfortunately because this weekend is a trip away from home I can't really do that this time. DH is very very understanding but being very practical about it - he said last night that whatever I want him to do he will do it but I don't think there is anything he can do!

@Mooey89 The friend is more DH's friend than mine - they have known each other for years and years and yes I am sure that she will understand. I am not sure if she knows about the MMC, but I will ask DH to let her know ahead of time so that she understands if I run off or cry at her. The other couple who will be there know about it all.

I definitely need to stop my head worrying about it before hand, this is the sort of thing that will creep in my head while I'm trying to get to sleep and give me sleepless nights.

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