Tips for coping with TTC when it just is not happening

[Rosieposy89]

I'm 30 TTC our first. Husband is 34. We have been trying since January 2019 (10 cycles). My periods are regular (every 25-29 days). We started using OPKs last cycle and got a solid smiley CD11. We went to the GP as we (mainly me) are getting a bit down about the fact it just isn't happening. GP wouldn't do anything until we have hit the 12 month mark and advised us to relax and enjoy our baby free time which is a bit patronising tbh.

How do you cope with the frustration of this going on so long? I feel like giving up as I am just so terrified over the fact it isn't happening and it feels so lonely. I think I just know we're heading for an infertility diagnosis. DH is now getting stressed because he knows how much I'm struggling. I am happy in my life and keep myself busy but I just feel like I'm trapped in a never ending cycle of failure. I don't even think I'd be overjoyed by a BFP in a weird way because I am over the excitement of it all if that makes sense. How on earth do you all manage?

I feel your pain. I'm 30 too and we're trying for our first. We'll be coming up on 2 years trying, had all the tests and everything looks fine for both me and husband so no obvious cause for it taking this long.

I got pregnant this time last year but unfortunately it was ectopic I just hold on to the fact that I know now that I can get pregnant, just need to keep going.

Sorry no tips though, it's just tough. Fingers crossed that you get your bfp soon x

@Rosieposy89 totally know where you're coming from! I'd gone to see my doctor in January after 6 months and they turned me away (I'd turned 29 the previous month) but then fell pregnant in cycle 8 which I then miscarried. This is my fifth cycle since mc and you just feel like it's never going to happen and your life is on hold!! Even though I conceived I decided to pay for private fertility testing and that's given me a bit of focus.

I would have decked that GP TBH 🙄

I mean I get what they are saying but it is severely unhelpful and so tactless. I guess the good news is the odds are in your favour (11 months is the average for most couples if that helps?) and most couples will have conceived by 2 years but it never helps when everyone around you is getting pregnant and you’re not or you have a niggling feeling ‘what if i’m One of the 2% who doesn’t get pregnant in two years’.

I get it. You’re doing better than me. I was sobbing in a toilet when our friends told me they were pregnant after 7 months of TTC-it was a relief when we were sent for tests (all clear). It’s boring but true that sometimes it takes time. However it’s not a panacea for when people use it, just like ‘relax, it’ll happen’ (again, decking time 😆)

I would go back to your GP and ask them to run 5 day and 25 day bloods so you have them armed and ready for any further testing (they are sooooo cheap to get done and they’ll need them anyway if you are referred) and start charting so you can confirm ovulation? That will help concentrate the mind in the meantime. If you can explain how stressed it’s making you it might giveback them an incentive.

Also have a good rant on here. Lots of people have been there and ‘get it’ ❤️

@HallowsandHorcruxes I'm so sorry about the ectopic - that is so cruel. It really is tough, I never imagined it would take so long. Fingers crossed for our BFPs soon X
@whatdayisit7 I'm really sorry about your miscarriage. I'm tempted by private fertility testing too but we only have a couple of months left before GP will do something. I've just got to keep going
@CL1982 - I know I felt like crying when she said it. I know I find the statistics really reassuring and that's keeping me sane! I am going to chart this month again at least I can see if there's any patterns. I might go back and ask for those blood tests, because if there is an issue I'm better finding out earlier. Thank you so much X