Husband leaving me straight after chemical pregnancy

[Louiseheskimo]

Hi ladies I’m wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation.

I found out 2 days ago I’ve likely had a chemical pregnancy ( HCG levels very low , lots of cramping and pregnancy symptoms have gone but no bleeding yet).

My husband had been acting strangely and not as excited as I expected when I had initially had all the positive tests. I pulled him up on it and he said he hasn’t been happy with our sex life for a long time.

I have a low libido but for 8 ish months e have been trying. He says he wants a child with me but need to work on our intimacy first. It was an issue prior to TTC and the forced nature of TTC made it worse.

He is stressed and also considering leaving his job.

Tonight I’m sleeping along whilst dealing with the symptoms of loss in both ways.

I have found it hard when people have said ‘ that’s so good though that you got pregnsnt’ . And now I don’t think I ever will.

I’m so lost

Hi,

I just came across your post and I am so sorry yo hear that you had to go through all of that alone.

How are things now?

I had a chemical pregnancy a few years ago (although I didn’t know what this was until jointing this group). It’s very downheartening as people don’t see it as being a loss even though it is! I also had an ectopic last year & I found my partner wasn’t very supporting emotionally following this. After months of feeling so alone we talked properly & I understood that he was pulling away from me to cope with the loss himself. It can make you feel so alone but there are many woman that go through this. You are not alone xx

Hi OP.

So sorry you are going through this. First of all lets start with the positives, your DH does see a future with you as he has told you he wants a child. Men DO NOT (the most part) deal with emotions very well, he is clearly worried about losing hos job, worried about his sex life and now worried about losing a baby. It's a lot for you to both deal with.

First problem here is the sex, even if you had a great sex life before, this is going to dramatically change when you have a baby - would be be prepared for that? If no then he needs to consider if this is something he wants.

As for your libido - I totally get you. I am the same, most part I am barely interested in sex, never really have been. However as my partner has discussed with me, this is how he feels close to me, intimate, shows his love for me. He needs sex and I know if I can't give him what he needs/wants then I will loose him. It's not all about sex but it's about realising how you connect with your partner and you need to try and be on the same page. You cannot force sex but maybe you need to try and take action to increase your libido.

I'm sorry this isn't a huge help but I think you both need to talk and figure out a way that you can mutually sort this to benefit you both.

@Louiseheskimo I have no advice but I hope you're okay xxx