Testing behind partner's back...

[ceejla]

Okay. So not as bad as it sounds...

I recently had my implant out, my partner and I have been discussing TTC for out 1st most of this year. My OH is not interested in the whole 'trying for a baby' thing and wants it to just 'happen'. ANYWAY, I really like the idea of surprising him with a pregnancy announcement (clues that lead to a test in a box/mug 'you're going to be a daddy' at the bottom etc) however rather concerned about effectively testing behind his back and knowing before him (he likes to know EVERYTHING).

Has anyone else done something similar with their first? I know he would love the thoughtful idea but at the same time I'm worried about just landing the HEY I'M PREGNANT thing on him with no prior warning haha. Especially as we aren't actively TTC (as such).

Thank you all!

I'm a year TTC by now and no idea how many tests I've taken. I felt the same way as you to start and wanted us both to see the BFP at the same time, but now I take almost every test without telling my partner. Mostly because i feel its is more than likely negative and don't want to have to 'announce' its negative. That brings more pressure and more heartbreak. He doesn't know all the amounts of negatives I've taken. If I get a glimmer of a positive I'll be telling him straight without any big fancy surprise. All we're waiting for is a BFP and that will be enough. I also don't like the thought of not telling him the minute I know, I wouldn't appreciate it if I was him. I think these surprise reveals to husbands/partners is so overly commercialised and is so far removed from what we want as a couple. We just want a second line.

I didn't do this (purely because I couldn't believe what I was seeing and couldn't keep my mouth shut) but I think it's a lovely idea. It'll be a huge surprise and something you will both look back on in years to come with great happiness x

I love this idea and always thought I'd do it; but I drunkenly chatted about it with my fiancé once and he said he'd feel a bit hurt that he hadn't got to take the test with me... I don't know if that'll be possible; I'd imagine if we are TTC for a while he won't be with me for every one, but I'm going to try it. It doesn't feel quite as special to me, but to him, it's being part of the real moment and we don't really have secrets, so maybe I should have expected he'd prefer to know!